What do other couples do to spice up stale marriage sex? Or should I just be happy we still occasionally have sex?

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Go on vacation with the sole purpose of having lots of sex

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Tie me up and hit me!!!! Oh yeah oh yes

likefunny

Uh, I think you answered your own question here?!

likesmart

Try molly

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Watch porn together. Buy some sex toys. Surprise each other randomly. It won’t always be exciting, and it still sometimes gets stale… but the above suggestions have worked for me when it seems like we are in a “slump”.

helpful

Butt stuff

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Yes!

Be happy you still occasionally have sex. - 5 years into a relationship

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….6 years in and we have sex on average once a week. If there is a physical compatibility issue then it may be worth seeing a sex therapist to help work through things

Do you both agree there’s a need for change? That determines how much room to maneuver you have here.

Try listening to Dan Savage’s podcast or reading his column. He deals with this question a lot… and the rest of his content will open your eyes to sexual possibilities you didn’t even know existed!

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There are other good answers here, so I’ll just add something that might not seem obvious from the male side… women get a lot of bullshit messages about their bodies, and that can make it hard to be open and adventurous during sex. Obviously I have no idea whether this is relevant for you or your wife, but just thought I’d float it.

When I have a partner who genuinely makes me feel good about my body, I find it a million times easier to “let go” and have great sex. Examples: a partner turned around my insecurity about my tummy and (small-ish) boobs by making unprompted/unexpected comments like, “Your boobs are so perfect for your frame.” “I love how firm your breasts are.” “Your waist is so tiny; I love grabbing your hips…” It was effective because it resonated more than the generic, “Gurl, u so purty, u don’t need no makeup!” and because it helped change my self perception… that allowed me to stop worrying/ feeling self-conscious during sex, which in turn allowed me to be open about what I wanted and was willing to do. And *that* led to awesome fantasy sex!✨

smart

Dirty talk/texting regarding the type of sex she likes. If she says she likes it rough, spend some time talking to her or texting her about what your going to do to her, then do it

helpful

Be happy with what you have, it’s really
empty out there regardless of how positive you choose to look at it. The grass is not greener on the other side.

Intimacy requires connection. Sec doesn’t. You can watch porn or get toys but without reconnecting, it might not last long because you’re merely satisfying an urge. So try doing date night - maybe she can wear lingerie under her clothes - and when you get back, light a candle, music and then get to it. Then intro toys etc. good luck!

I don’t have a link but there is a survey you and your partner can both do that asks what you’re into (solo) and then partner fills it out (solo), and it only shows you the stuff that you both checked off at the end.

Life is too short not to enjoy intimate relationships. The more you have the more you want. To many couples fall into this trap of not being intimate. Spice it up often to keep the juices flowing. Once you start you may not stop.

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