What do you think your SO giving significant amounts of money to his parents? Do you feel like that should not happen and that money should go towards the family you’re trying to build? Does anyone have an SO whose parents your SO supports financially?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I mean, depends what the money is for. Is your SO an immigrant or minority or anything? Sometimes it’s different culturally. I wouldn’t be thrilled about giving money to like fund gambling expenses or parents who are being greedy/unreasonable/asking for stuff all the time. I’ve seen that with some friends where the parents are just deadbeats taking advantage. But my parents took care of me and sacrificed a lot for me my whole life. Like they put off buying a house so my sister and I could get grad degrees (which they helped pay for despite not being able to afford it). We’re first gen. It’s my job to take care of them in their old age and I would pitch a fit if my SO had an issue with that. I wouldn’t be anything without them. They also never ask and would never ask their kids for money, we just give it now sometimes because we can.

like

I think it’s a really good sign that they are supporting their family. Probably means that they will do the same for the family you build.

like

Simply giving doesn’t bother me, if they need it. If we’re going without something we need because that money is going to family for something they want (and not needs), I’d probably have an issue then.

like

I struggle with this. I am the SO who gives money to her Mom. My mother has issues and is irresponsible/horrible with money. It would make my husband mad that I gave her money because he knows how she is. She was always asking for more and more. So he and I came to a compromise. I give a set amount to Mom every month that hubs and I agreed to. Since we are now on the same page about it there is less conflict and less pressure to give in to my mother's demands. At the end of the day, I feel my priority is my family with my husband, but my Mom did alot for me when I was young so it doesn't feel right to not help at all, especially when we have the money.

like

It depends on the situation. I dated a guy whose parents treated him like an ATM - and this was when he was in full time grad school and not even working full time. But if it was a matter of a family members sincerely needing help - that’s what family is for. Although personally I think my parents would literally rather die than take money from me.

like

This is a thing that will vary family to family. And by family I mean the family you and your SO built.

I personally would expect that any money given to my in-laws would be run past me before it happens. We do not give large sums and have drawn that boundary explicitly with each other ahead of time because his parents have a history of asking for “loans” around the larger extended family that they never pay back. We do contribute to college funds for my nephews. If he ever gets niblings I’d be ok doing the same in a 529 account we control.

like

Depends. If he provides what they need, that’s great and a good sign. If he tells you the budget is tight and then offers to pay for their splurges, that’s a huge red flag and something you need to discuss.

like

I think it depends a lot on your own family’s financial situation. We have always helped my mother in law out financially. But a couple of years ago, we bought her a house. We are in a position where although we definitely notice that financial outlay, it doesn’t jeopardize our basic financial goals around retirement and paying for kids college. Earlier in our lives, I don’t think I would have been comfortable doing so because I would have seen it as taking $$$ that my kids need.

Related Posts

I'm doing everything in my power to not quit without another job lined up, and every interview falls through. I'm overwhelmed by my clients, I've had enough corporate koolaid for a lifetime, I could not care less about what I do, and I've started exhibiting destructive behaviors at work but keep getting told I'm doing great.

If I'm going to be stuck here, clearly my attitude is the main problem. How have you learned to find joy in your job? What makes you feel like you matter here? Why stay?

like

Hi all,
I have resigned last Friday and need experience letter ASAP. What is the procedure to get it ? Do I need to fill in the responsibilities myself in eltters portal and request ?

Hi All,

Which one is better
Total year of experience:5.3 years
SAP Consultant


1. Accenture: Level 9: 15fixed 4 variable
2. KPMG Italy: Senior Consultant: 36k Eur fixed 7.2k Eur variable

Thanks
Sandeep

like

Any suggestions on safe places/communities to live near south San Francisco. Possibly San Mateo or Sunnyvale. Thanks in advance!

like

Research leads, how do you keep your team motivated?

like

Just ordered new Monta Skyquest GMT black and red aluminum bezel. As a BJJ black belt these colors speak to me :).

likefunny

How many years we need to spend to eligible for gratuity in infosys?
My DOJ in infy is may 2017.

like

Party from TCSers?

Post Photo
like

To GT folks, what is audit PMO, financial transformation service line do?

like

Would any of you go work at Deloitte Tax even though they laid people off earlier this summer?

like

I'd rather not hear from employers instead of getting my in box cluttered with you suck emails 😂

like

During my job search, I am getting a lot of recruiters asking for me to answer right to represent emails. These particular recruiters follow a same pattern and seem unprofessional. Shall I be aware and not sign these right to represents? Are they a scam? Or is it a cultural thing… can someone advise me, I’m based in the USA

like

Anyone had luck in restoring your shopyourway dollars? Mine expired yesterday and was wondering if there are any options

like

Looking for change, 15+ years of experience in .NET/C#/Azure/Application Architecture. Good DSA/ System Designing.

Currently serving Notice period and can join in 30-35 days. Preference to product-based companies in Hyderabad.

Thanks in advance.

like

Why did you become a lawyer? Curious about the motivations, outside of helping people or making good money.

likesmart

Any one from Roche?

like

Fish,

What is the role of Cloud Consultant at
Google Cloud, India? What is the salary range like? Do they include stocks? Can I switch internally to SE/products team later if I join as Cloud Consultant?

Thanks in advance.

like

Where’s the best place to pick up freelance work as a side hustle?

likehelpful

Anyone use edgenuity? I'm starting Monday with students, never been trained, no guidance. Don't know how to set expectations if I don't know. ice breaker ideas? I'm not in my classroom.. media center.

The Atlantic Hurricane season begins tomorrow. And, Florida forecasters are already watching the first system that could develop.

likehelpful

Additional Posts in Women in Law

Just found out i did not pass the bar..any suggestions on how to muster up the confidence to take it again especially while now being full time and I have 2 kids.

like

For the past 6+ months, I've been thinking of getting an LV neverful MM for work, but I was wondering if anyone has a Valentino rockstud or the YSL shopping tote? Is the neverfull the best option for work (and carryon travel)?

like

Four days off in a row with MLK Day. Took Friday off. And still I just feel drained at the thought of going back to work tomorrow. Trying to hang in for a few months to see if the firm improves or if I’m hanging out my own shingle or finding a new firm. Anyone else?

like

Those of you with the Beis work tote (not the mini), do you think it’s too big of a bag for day to day carrying during a month long trial? I’m looking for something that can carry my laptop and a decent amount of supplies (notepads, personal care items, etc.) and have heard good things, but the work tote looks massive in the product photos online!

like

What are pros and cons of working for a government legal department and is it a good lateral move for career advancement?

like

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have a spending problem. Trying to curb the Amazon habit, cancel subscriptions, etc. Good vibes needed. Trying to be a better example for my son and save for his future.

like

Has anyone experienced “bullying” or shaming by fellow female colleagues? Sometimes feels as though women are more critical of other women than male colleagues...

likehelpful

This post is part rant/part request for advice. I am a relatively new partner (title on this app has not updated yet) in a male dominated practice. I am only the second woman partner in my practice at my firm, ever, and it has been around for a while. Having dealt with various issues navigating my way towards partnership, I’m very involved in mentoring younger attorneys and particularly women. I recently heard that a young woman associate in my practice group told others I am not (cont.)

like

Had a talk with the partners Thursday, they said I’m not producing enough work at the end of each day. First year associate, new area of law, wfh so they are more “what are you doing every second”. They want me to start turning in a daily log (we are plaintiffs attorneys so no billing normally) any advice? While I appreciate their honesty, I feel like they consider me severely indebted to them that they hired me mid pandemic and “allow” me to work from home.

like

Asian food is the best. Might be because I’m Asian and grew up eating it.

like

I’ve never taken a gap year and I really want to take a 6-12 month break from work before I get married/start a family. I’m currently two years qualified at an international firm. Is it difficult to find a job again after a career gap in London?

like

Anyone have a MIL who is clearly intimidated by your prof success and consistently criticized how much you work and how you’re raising your little one?

likehelpful

Best handbag / shoulder bag for work that is both professional and also convenient (e.g. can take work laptop, documents, food containers, water bottle)?

Discovered major pay difference between myself and two new male hires with equal experience. Asked for a raise and was shot down due to Covid and essentially told they make more (were talking a 30k) bc they don’t have my “other responsibilities” aKa my two kids. I know my productivity is effected by parental responsibility but I don’t feel that alone justifies the difference. I know our billable output isn’t drastically different. Not sure what my next steps should be and welcome any advice.

like

Thoughts on daycare vs. nanny starting at 4 months old?

like

Has anyone left a firm for a different opportunity (loved the folks at their first firm), realized grass may not have been greener, & gone back?

like

Hey ladies. I just had surgery today and I am out on short term disability until further notice. I am most like going to get a once in a life time job offer by a big law firm at the end of the week. I’ve never practiced in a law firm, so this will help me with my career big time. How should I give notice to my in house gig? The petty side of me wants to just tell them I’m not coming back but the business woman in me is saying to leave amicably and try to bring them in as client. ... cont in com

like

I am purchasing a home and my boyfriend wants in on the deal as a co-owner. It is only me on the mortgage. We are planning on writing up a co-ownership agreement with a 60%/40% split and yes he will be paying 40% of the mortgage, down payment, and property taxes etc. He wants to be on the title as a tenant in common to reflect that %. Is that fair? I just want to make sure I’m protected but I also understand that if he’s paying all this money, he wants some security as well

likesmart

Anyone else obsess over your next career move? I’m a senior associate in a niche BigLaw group in DC. I am just now hitting my stride and can really see a path to partnership. I handle my own matters relatively independently, am generating some business, and will inherit a large book of business in my favorite space in the next year or so. The problem is that this isn’t what I want, or at least what I think I want. (Continued in comments).

like

Hello Fishes.
I work in India as an in-house contract attorney. I want an opportunity outside my country. Is it possible to take up a job in a different country without doing any course or certification?
Please DM me for any open opportunities.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal