{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "What does \"you need to engage and be warmer\" mean to you if advised in relation to firm folks, not clients. All other KPIs are great, work is excellent, clients like you.", "post_id": "586dd6f7208b02001085629d", "reply_count": 24, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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What does "you need to engage and be warmer" mean to you if advised in relation to firm folks, not clients. All other KPIs are great, work is excellent, clients like you.

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Sounds like it means treat your team better. Connect more, leverage your soft skills internally and have empathy for the team and colleagues.

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Are you married? Maybe get engaged and put on a coat? 🤔

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Don't be so transactional in your interactions. Care about people. Ask about them.

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On the overall scale, you seem to be closer to robotic than to warm.

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@OP While it's great that you want to grow in spite of bias and perspective, I'd challenge you further. You don't necessarily need to be "warm" to be professional - if it's not your style, it's not. This is one person's opinion. Don't try to be someone different. Instead, figure out your personality strengths and highlight those more strongly. Unless you are mean or antisocial, your best net gain isn't to create disingenuous warmth that isn't naturally there, but rather to lean into what makes you different. Totally cliche I know, but as a gay woman trust me on this. Not only is it easier to be a better you, it's an arbitrage - being genuine is always a 2 for 1. Be you!

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Make small talk that matters. Remember small things about people in a not creepy way. Try to act like the friend you are to your friends outside of work, but in the office. Aka warmth. Maybe you have too much of a guard up. Also, I think that it is kind of BS feedback when they don't have anything else to tell you

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That's the thing - team on projects are happy. For many, I am solo mostly.

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I tried to get examples. This is a person that sees me maybe 3 to 4 times a year, but is important. I figure it is coming from somewhere else, but no matter how I tried to tease it out, could not get such examples. I do talk to everyone, say good morning, offer a compliment etc. I want to act on the feedback, but find it a bit nebulous. I do try to be very efficient with my time out of necessity - both professionally and personally, but I am not robotic.

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Are you a woman? This sounds like the classic sexist "you'd be prettier if you'd smile more" 😒

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While I try not to start there, after trying to better understand the feedback multiple times, I did make that point by asking if similar advice had been given to a male colleague. I do not want to assume that is the case and try to grow if possible.

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Are you competitive? Deep down we all know that your peers are also your competitors in this industry, but simultaneously we need to team to win in this market place. Some people are better at navigating this duality than others - and it can be a delicate balance. Are you full of competitive edge or are you perceived as someone who teams well and can be trusted by your peers?

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Omg, OP, you're a woman? Yes, this is sexist advice. I am the same way- want to get my shit done in the office. Try going to more happy hours and acting "relaxed" at them. We somehow need to be efficient super humans who are also as fun as 22 year old frat boys to get anywhere in this corporate world. I have dealt with this. I just started to act more real and less guarded and I think that it has helped a bit. If you go into DNet, there is this place (I'll try to find it) where they break down how to act on being more "approachable." In real life and pre-Deloitte, I'd say that I was very approachable. I would also say that after thinking about it, I might come across as not approachable in the office bc I am such a work horse. Whenever I am not working and I am making small talk with someone, I try to come across as "fun." Sounds stupid, I know, but I think it is working. Aka seem more human aka I also think that this is BS advice.

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Hmm... Maybe just connect more w/ other colleagues. Go to lunch with them or check in and say hi periodically. Internal networking

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I guess I will start quizzing people on their personal lives...?

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Just to offer a different perspective: how are you viewed amongst your peers? candidates up for partner/directorship might not make it because leadership feels that their peers didn't like them for whatever reason. The titles and demands may change from one level to the other, but the underlying questions still stay the same.

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SA1 yep that's what I think.

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They're happy.

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Haha I agree with BCG1

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Guessing that was rhetorical, but yes - married.

The two I work for directly sing my praises and nominated me for sponsorship. That's why I am a bit bewildered but want to work on it. I think the transactional comment is a good point. I love feedback, but this seems so subjective that it is difficult to know how to capitalize on it.

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