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Does anyone want to go a festival 🤷🏻♀️
Rising Star
Anybody from orae ebs
Chief
Rising Star
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Does anyone want to go a festival 🤷🏻♀️
Rising Star
Anybody from orae ebs
There's no such thing as the one. It's a silly concept promoted by Hollywood to sell movies to desperate single people looking for love. If you're attracted to someone, have fun being with them, and want similar things out of life and for the future, then you're lucky. Don't expect to just know you found "the one". Those butterflies in your stomachs when those people find "the one" is a chemical reaction for people that are sexually attracted to the other person which go away after a while and contribute to the divorce rate.
If you're asking if he's the one, he's not. You'll just know.
I love my husband, but I don't believe in "the one". I agree with RSM1 that butterflies are lust and they go away after a while. I found an incredibly kind, hard working, and helpful man. We make a good team and I love our life together. Remember that forever is a long time and relationships are really hard. Think about all the stuff you don't like about your bf and if you can live with that never changing. If you can't, time to move on.
To me, my husband isn't "the one". He is my best friend. I am sexually attracted to him (and he to me) and I enjoy spending lots of time with him. We agreed on fundamentals: religion, finances, hopeful # o children, probable career paths (both have graduate degrees). Marriage is complicated. We don't always get along or see eye to eye, but our stubborn personalities are compatible and I love the adventures we have together. When you're with someone that you are very compatible with, and you agree on things like interactions with in-laws, marriage tends to go well. There are all sorts of things that contribute to a healthy relationship (patience, forgiveness, adjusting expectations...). You have to be willing to compromise.
This thread probably has more wisdom than any other thread I have seen on fb.
Well, ok - there's The One (TM) and there's "the one" for you.
Once you decide to commit to someone, they should become your "one", so do your best to pick the right "one" for you.
It helps to have some clear ideas on your must-haves and can't-stands, and also look for a nice blend of core and surface traits. Think about what changes you might see in then over the years based on the core traits they have. Then figure out how to live together!
P.S. am happy for Citi 1, but that experience is not the norm.
@Op exactly what EY2 said. Having fun doesn't mean a night out on the town. It means you enjoy the others company and don't "try and stay late at work just to get away from the other person" (I know that's an extreme case but I'm just trying to make a point). If you're both willing to work and you know that the other person will be in your corner no matter what you will always be a team, then that's the right person for you. Relationships especially marriage are hard work because you have to compromise so that you're both happy. But if you're both willing to compromise for each other and you're a team then go for it.
Do you have a good concept of what you're looking for in "the one"?
Who are you, Carrie Bradshaw?
^ spot on.
Basically he's the right one if you lose your breath for extended periods of time. And 10 years from now, you still lose your breath when you see him. It is more than sexual attraction, it is attraction with every atom in your body.
I hope you find Neo: 'The one'
Well if you want a family soon, you're going to have to compromise a couple non-fundamental differences you may not tolerate if you didn't want to settle. If you don't wanna settle, move on to the next one if you can't see pass his imperfections.
Just don't worry about it and have fun. If you like him and like to be with him then great if not move on. Life is full of adventures so enjoy today and stop worrying about if he is the one.
Yes. We've been together for 12 years and married for 6.
Knowing what you want is a good place to start- knowing what you don't want even more important. Life's an adventure you may not know what you want til you experience it. May I suggest reading Lean In discuss with him - if you want a family and career discussing things in the book may help you decide if he's the one for you. Signed Happily married 28 years w 2 adult children in college 😊
EY - yes, I would hope to have similar values, someone that's willing to work on communication and the relationship when issues arise and respect.
RSM 1 - then what makes people get married and stay together? Seems like more than just 'having fun'...
Thank you all! I'm definitely not at team level in this relationship and just need to move on.
Citi 1, are you married?