What is the best way to have a conversation around trying to not accept a role due to bad experience working with the lead? How would you frame the message without sounding negative?

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I would start by networking to find a role on a different project first, and then explain that you’d be a better fit for the other role. If there is bad history with that lead then he is likely also hesitant to bring you on as well, so it should be an easy decision for leadership

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Straight up - if it’s the real reason , the more direct you are with the partner the better

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Go on PTO for two weeks.

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Thanks for the opportunity. I am not sure it’s the best fit for me. Ideally I would love an opportunity that gives me xyz experience- something that I believe I can get from this other project

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