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What should you do when someone calls you out in front of client for not having done something yet, you message them privately that you don’t appreciate that, and then they gaslight you by saying that you’re too sensitive and it affects the working relationship?

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Go to their manager or start calling them out in front of said client. For example: Have you done that yet? No, you provided a deadline of next Tuesday. I’d be happy to deliver earlier if it needs to be prioritized, your call.

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Came here to say exactly this. Politely call them out on what you both agreed upon and then see how they react. In my opinion they just sound like an asshole who doesn’t want a good working relationship. You’re not being sensitive at all.

Challenge them to a duel

likefunny

Whenever I see a situation where there's a potential for assholery or other similar situations such as yours, I make a separate folder with all relevant emails to keep on file for myself, just in case it's needed. - save your emails and messages that back up your timelines. If you have a call where they give you new info, send a recap note right after - bonus points if you can get this person to acknowledge your emails (and save those too) - make sure other relevant parties are cc'd so others have transparency as well - never instigate any of these situations, but vigorously defend yourself if they arise. Ex - colleague says, you haven't finished this yet? You say, not yet, I'm working towards our agreed upon deadline of (date) per our last email. I haven't seen anything from you saying anything otherwise, let me know if something has changed - if they insist that you have made a miss on your end, send all relevant emails/notes/etc. and prove them wrong

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Tip for next time: “Yeah, sorry, I have not had a chance to get to that yet”. It can be super easy to diffuse people and situations with a simple acknowledgment. And if you’re one of those people that don’t believe in saying sorry, use the same line just minus the s-word : )

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That’s what I said but it still really pissed me off and it’s not the first time so I felt like it was important to call it out privately 1:1 afterwards. Only to get the “you’re too sensitive and it’s affecting our work relationship” response which makes it worse

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Patterns develop over time. It doesn’t take long to see who’s working the system and who might have a one-off lapse. I see it, and I’m sure clients do, too.

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How bad was the call-out?

Don’t do what C1 suggested and ask if timeline changed in front of client. It’s petty and argumentative and not a good look in front of clients. Just handle it after the meeting. The stern reminders and convo are all good

likehelpful

Are they senior to you?

Yes

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