{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "What would you do? 34 years old. Offered partnership in hometown local firm 7+ years in the making that offers opportunity to earn 150-200k+ per year + benefits. Also just received unsolicited offer to be in house at young small company that will start at 200k and offer equity totaling payouts of low 7 figures over next five years but requires me to be away four nights/wk 2 hrs from home. May be able to work remote 2 days eventually. Life span of company is 5ish years. Married w/ 3 kids under 5", "post_id": "5fc5ba02e03d99002ac51a7b", "reply_count": 29, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d052", "bowl_name": "Law" }

What would you do? 34 years old. Offered partnership in hometown local firm 7+ years in the making that offers opportunity to earn 150-200k+ per year + benefits. Also just received unsolicited offer to be in house at young small company that will start at 200k and offer equity totaling payouts of low 7 figures over next five years but requires me to be away four nights/wk 2 hrs from home. May be able to work remote 2 days eventually. Life span of company is 5ish years. Married w/ 3 kids under 5

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Posting as :
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Side note: be very skeptical of that equity, especially if you aren't at or beyond series c.

likesmart

Aw man. Please choose one. Even if your wife says it’s fine or you can hire a nanny or whatever, please choose one.

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I have to agree. You can always make partner and an even better offer may come along that doesn’t involve travel!

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As a mom, I would choose the first option because I’ve realized how much time I gave up traveling for work and I feel like I missed so much.

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That’s helpful. Thanks for sharing your experience

Door Number 1. Complete no brainer. Congrats on being in your position and good luck with your family, which should be the highest priority.

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I read this and immediately started singing “what would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor...” (gotta love late 90s/early 00s pop).

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This just made my night hahaha

Please, please, choose the first option. The remote schedule is brutal (I did it years ago) and you’ll miss your kids’ formative years. There will be time later for in-house life; not so for the time with your kids and spouse.

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OP, I have to tell you that my dad missed a lot of my early years, and later when I was a teen/young adult it was just impossible to make up that distance. We're friends now, but not in any way close like patents and children are, and in my late 30s I realize that has a lot to do with the lack of binding when I was little.

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Can’t take money with you when you’re gone. Stability and family are things I value when talking about that type of money

likesmart

Update: chose to stay home. Thank you all for your perspective.

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Thanks for letting us know. Best of luck.

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What does your spouse say?

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Good thoughts. Thanks

I would go with Option 1. I'm going to make a lot of assumptions here based on the responses, etc, so if I'm way off, apologies in advance. For where you are, it's the stable choice. I'm always skeptical of start ups, having worked for two, interviewed with a bunch and worked with a even larger number doing partnerships. They rely heavily on marketing and the personalities of their CEO to drive investment and business. The day or day reality is somewhat different and usually disorganized and it take a Hurculean effort on the part of legal to establish proper governance, contracting, privacy, etc processes. Usually in-house lawyers are see as a hurdle or a necessary evil, so you have that to deal with. Add on the fact that you are traveling all the time and (guessing) need to learn how to be in IHC, to a start up no less where that learning curve is super steep and depending on the personalities of management, unforgiving, it's going to be super stressful. IDK, the fact that you can't be remote to star given there's a pandemic... that's a potential red flag to me.

likesmart

My vote is to stay with the wife and kids. Also yes, how does your wife feel and your kids. Even though they’re young they may still remember you being gone a lot.

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I hear your struggle, the in-house job sounds better to me just as a job, but it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness. 5 years is a very long time, especially to a child. Those are going to be formative years for your kids. Don’t make your wife be a single mom. This is just one opportunity. There will be others. I assume not an option to relocate with your family to where the in-house job is? Leaving aside pay, how do you feel about the jobs themselves? Do you enjoy your firm and coworkers? How does the in-house company seem?

I respectfully disagree with A4. If the job is gonna have minimal flexibility for five years the kids will all at least be five. And even if they were two and three, they may not remember he wasn’t there, but there may be a reason that they always go to mom for things that they can’t quite put their finger on. And that reason could be that she was.

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A lot of people here have shared their concern about missing your kids formative years. My dad traveled internationally for work for much of my childhood (up through my teens) and would be gone for weeks to a month at a time. I'm definitely closer with my mom but I have a great relationship with my dad. I'd inquire about flexibility for certain family events/obligations because those were the times his absence was most memorable (ex. birthdays).

Good thoughts. Thank you

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Can you work inhouse for a year or two, vest some equity, then leave?

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