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Would have done exactly what privacy counsel suggested.
Not sure if you already do this though, but I also have taken the train early in the morning (530 am uws to Tribeca) and I try to ride in the conductor's car for 1) personal safety knowing someone is right there and 2) I've generally found it to be more crowded with construction workers
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You did the right thing! It’s better not to say anything, acknowledging / engaging can escalate things.
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I know 6:30 is super early so I get grabbing a seat, but lately I've just been standing, I find it easier to move around if anyone acts strange, rather than standing up and then moving to a different seat or getting off
Also it's sad that it's come to this, planning how we navigate our daily commutes
Guy sitting across from me and I could tell that he was watching the situation and could tell that I was very uncomfortable. I ended up getting off the train at the following stop. In hindsight though, what should I have done? What if the guy had followed me off the train? Should I have said something to him when he moved seats?
I think I would have moved to the guy sitting across from me if I felt he was he was a “safe” space so to speak. I’m not sure I would have gotten off though for the reason you cited unless it was a major stop like Times Square or Grand Central). What happens if you got off and he followed you? Police presence is much lighter these days and people aren’t as quick to help as they were in years past (they’ll film you getting hurt or raped though). I would have also sent a text to a couple of friends/family with the guy’s description and where you’re commuting to/from just in case.
I would get off at the next busy stop. Unless the train itself became just you and him. If the next stop wasn’t busy I wouldn’t get off because yeah he could have followed you.
Same thing you did. Best not to engage I think (remain calm as possible-may be easier said). Stay vigilant & have a safety exit plan.
Thanks for all the input, I’ve had creeps talk to me before but this mornings situation felt particularly uncomfortable ☹️
It sucks Op. you did good
Ugh. So creeps like this usually thrive on making people uncomfortable or getting a reaction. So I’d do the best to appear as unphased as possible but move away and perhaps even get up and face a different direction, etc. but your instincts also were good. If he followed you off I’d jump right back on and make a scene perhaps leveraging the people on the train to help. But I bet in most cases they just leave you alone if you don’t look rattled
If this were me (F, 39), I would have gotten up from where I was sitting and moved away to the other side of the car. If he followed me, I would have walked away or moved to another train car. There’s no need to engage him in a conversation or say anything to him. If it makes you feel more comfortable, talk to the person next to you and let them know that guy makes you uncomfortable.
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I’ve got a concealed carry permit—though not in NY. Pepper spray and a taser are other alternatives. If you’re going to buy a gun though you absolutely must have training on how to use it. Things can get really dangerous otherwise.