What would you do?
I have 4 families that I’ve been hanging out with for a couple of years and then a new family starting hanging out with us recently. It’s never all 6 families at once because someone always has a conflict. Part of hanging out is regular Saturdays at our house in our pool. I’m having people over this Sat but can’t invite the new family because all of the other 4 are coming plus my brother and his family are coming so it would be a safety issue with too many people in the pool.

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OP is your house and pool i.e. your home, invite whoever you want, you don't owe anyone an invite or a reason why they weren't invited. And if you want to invite other people next time invite them, having been invited once doesn't count as a standing invitation every Saturday!

Enjoy your party and the company you choose

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Thank you for this. It really is nothing against the family and all about safety but my husband and I were disagreeing about how to go about it.

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Safety rules? Quit being a nerd and invite them.

likefunny

I’m all about safety too but you’re being ridiculous. Talk to the parents beforehand or limit the number in the pool if you absolutely have to. Sheesh.

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Maybe just acknowledge that you dont like the new couple🤷🏼‍♂️

likefunnysmart

You left all that out of the OP.

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Invite them, and explain and enforce the pool safety rules. I would be shocked if everyone was ever wanting to all be in the pool at the same time, and as a guest I would much rather be there hanging out nearby and maybe taking turns, than not being there at all.

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I’m so confused. The kids would not be in charge of enforcing the rules - you, and the other parents, would be. If the kids want to be in the pool, then adults get out, and vice versa.

I’m feeling you’re making this far, far more complicated than it needs to be.

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Yeah invite them and just share the pool safety rule.

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This. You can limit the number of people in the pool at a time. Esp if you give them a heads up in advance.

Your excuse is as irrelevant as ee in Pee.

likefunny

I just wouldn’t say anything unless it came up

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I too, would like to bring my kids to your pool.

likefunny

Agree w inviting and just explaining safety

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Not sure why you are asking for what others would do when it seems you already have made up your mind.

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I guess I didn’t understand your question. I would probably say something to give them a heads up. That way they won’t feel a certain type of way about it after the fact.

@OP,
1. You clearly don't want to invite them, I'm not sure why you're asking our opinion.
2. If you don't want to invite them for any reason, the don't invite them! You can still invite them for other occasions.
3. The reason you gave for not wanting to inciye them makes zero sense which is why you're getting these responses.
4. Do not explain anything to them, you don't owe them any explanation of what goes on in your home unless if you all are closer than you made it appear. If not, no need to bring it up.
Is this family next door neighbors? How will they know that you had a pool party and didn't invite them? Are you planning to brag about it to them?

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Lol so from the comments - it’s really not about safety, you’re not a fan of their kids

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Don't invite them, either don't say anything about it or just casually mention you were full-up this weekend with family visiting but it's usually not that busy, and invite them the next time you're able. If they get pissed about not getting invited to a single event when your house is already at max capacity, you probably don't want to be friends with them anyways.

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OP it sounds like you are concerned about safety which is a legitimate concern. Some people do not think about the fact that as the pool owner YOU can actually be held liable for any accident that occurs in your pool with these children regardless of their parents presence. People have sued and won against homeowners for accidents occurring in their pool. Do what feels right for your situation. We don’t know the hazards in and around your specific pool, the swimming abilities of these children or their parents competence. Drowning is the #1 cause of accidental death in children under 6. It can take less than 2min for a child to drown. Many children have died this way at pool gatherings. Additionally if you provide alcohol at your pool gathering in the presence of children you are likely to be held liable for any accident but also have to pay punitive damages in addition to compensatory damages. Punitive damages may not be covered under all homeowners policies so your assets are at risk here.

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So neither of you get analogies, huh?

I’ve said before and I’ll say for the last time - do what you want, it’s your house.

Where’s my invite?

funny

Make all attendees sign an liability and indemnification agreement before the enter

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Can you invite the new family another time just like 1:1? Then you can get to know them and gauge their parenting style to see if safety will be an issue.

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I think OP has way more friends than I do, and should be happy for that.

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Let's focus on the original question. I would tell them so they do not wonder why they were not invited. This is best to ensure no future friction. Your safety concerns are more than valid. It takes seconds for a child to drown and with a lot of screaming kids in the pool it is very possible that you miss a child is under water. This is amplified when dealing with kids are not used to being in a pool with a lot of other kids.

smart

“Why are you not inviting me, instead of not inviting family X who also has kids?”

Do I not saying to the new family since I’m not obligated to invite them to our house or be transparent and apologize that I can’t invite them due to the safety concerns of having too many people?

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