What’s a polite way to tell your SO that it would be nice to help out around the house or in general? Example - I’ll carry many bags from the car into the house and he will just walk. I’ll cook and clean and prep, even at his parents, while he sits on the couch.

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What you’re describing are basic manners, if you want to address it, it doesn’t need to be anything more than “can you please bring the rest of the bags in while I start putting things away?”. Though if I have to tell my SO something as basic as helping carry the bags or help with chores, I’m likely with the wrong person.


As the other person said, you shouldn't even have to ask. It's basic courtesy. Now it could just be that you've set the expectation of 'I got it' and he doesn't even think of helping. Next time you both get home from shopping say "I need help carrying the groceries in and putting them away". That should do the trick.

When you are cooking and cleaning, ask him for help. My wife would not be able to hold her tongue and would blurt out something like "were you just planning on sitting on the couch all day while I did everything?"


I am divorcing my husband over this. I make $180k and he makes $20-$40k in 40 hours or less. I do *all* the laundry, general cooking and cleaning. I have to beg him to do chores and then he half asses it. I’m exhausted with doing all the finances, house work, and trying to help him get better jobs and feel better about himself. I can’t do it all. He drives a 2019 Tacoma I pay for and won’t keep it clean.


Definitely give yourself time to recover from this focus on yourself for a bit. Enjoy that freedom for a bit lol.


Just ask him... “hey would you mind helping with XYZ?” If that makes you nervous/unsure to even ask, you should take a hard look at the relationship. You should be comfortable asking for help & he’s being a subpar partner by not even offering to help!

Well find out what’s on his mind that’s occupying him that he can’t pay attention to these things 🤔

Sometimes you’ll have to remind adults like we do with kids. We have to explain the task before we start doing anything until it gets into their heads 🤗

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