What’s the appropriate way/time to transition from Associate mentality and deference to partner mentality? For context less than 6 in whole firm. I was the only associate and there was the owner. I’m a partner now, and this week things got heated, and as a partner I didn’t bite my tongue (which I would have as an associate).

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Depends on what leverage you have, if any. Is this person expecting you to fund their retirement

You’re a partner so you’re an owner and they knew that when making you one. How much ownership do you have? Obviously you have a say but who’s the tiebreaker or how are differences handled? I guess it also just depends on what the fights are about? My partner and I get into all the time regarding money hiring/firing and we’re 50/50 so tiebreaker is status quo. Or until the other convinces the other which direction we should go lol but we get along and are friends so it’s not like we stay mad afterwards.

All partnerships, as with any group, and no matter the size, organize into a hierarchy, and having the title of “partner” is all but meaningless. Identify where you are in the pecking order (this includes all attorneys at the firm), your value, your book of business and control over clients, and how much leverage you have. Calibrate accordingly. Remember you owe reciprocal fiduciary duties to partners. Try to improve your rank. Lead. Be assertive and professional.

Re previous comment, consider resigning from partnership if you have no real leverage. No point owing partnership duties if you have no power.

The good thing is I do have some power. I don’t know— as an example, my former boss/current partner needed a transcript. It came to my inbox awhile back. I forwarded it the day I received it (we avoid using his email for anything— more on that later). A few weeks later, he calls freaking out, so I forward the forward as a “sent it before, but here it is again.” The past week, he calls. I’m driving so I don’t pick up. I received a group text: “will someone pick up the phone and tell me where to find this transcript?” I was driving is why I didn’t answer— I don’t know anyone else in the chat’s reason for not picking up the phone other than it was after hours.
I got him the transcript for the fourth time, and mentioned: you really need a system to not have 700+ unread emails. He responds: at this point, I have way more than that.
All this, and even though initially, he’s the only one who can set up payroll under the new structure, he doesn’t touch it for weeks, and today he calls me that he’s looked and looked and can’t find the email to start. So I have to forward it to him.
Literally, I’m just like: I’m your partner. Not your paralegal, so figure out your shit.

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