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Rising Star
Oh hon, I know where you’re at. It took us a year to get pregnant with our first and now we’re over a year in with one failed IVF and two miscarriages now for our second. The mental and emotional toll is significant and there’s not really a way to make it go away. Im so type A and became completely obsessive, read every academic paper and study I could get my hands on, collected stats, compared and tried to segment data (it’s futile, trust me) and must have spent over $1,000 on pregnancy tests.
Don’t be like me.
Couple things that helped:
- have a silver lining to look forward to each month you’re not pregnant. I would treat myself to a sushi dinner and half a bottle of wine every time a cycle failed
- get in shape. Focus your energy on being in the best possible shape before you’re pregnant. Since it took me so long to get pregnant, I ended up in really good shape before and during, which made delivery and recovery easier. It’s been harder the second time with all the IVF hormones and the workout limitations around procedures but in general, get active!
- try things like meditation and acupuncture. I started doing acupuncture for fertility but it’s actually been great for my mental state.
- do all the things you won’t be able to with baby. Travel, go out late, sleep in.
- as a last resort, throw yourself into work. If you like your job, it’ll be time and energy you won’t have when you’re pregnant to dedicate to it. If you don’t like your job, it’s at least a decent distraction.
Good luck and hope you don’t have to deal with this for too long!
Pro
We'd open a very nice bottle of wine and toast to "trying again". It took a long time, honestly and there were many tears, so try to find something to enjoy when you can.
Second everything that’s said. Will also add - got great advice that I should avoid getting sucked into the rabbit hole of online forums and Googling. Couldn’t do that after awhile, so gave myself one night a week to dig in (and get it out of my system). It helped me be sane the rest of the week (Ie not obsessively Google), so that I could work out, spend time with friends and family, not dwell, etc.
We were trying for 4 months and it was the month i didn’t use test strips for ovulation and cared less that we got pregnant! Lol found out yesterday!
Congratulations 😄
Have you tried acupuncture? This was a huge help for me when trying to get pregnant and in early pregnancy.
Echo the above! Also important to not stress- a good friend was over stressing and also working out a lot thinking it would put her in the best position and the moment she stopped stressing/ gave her body time to rest after 2 years of trying was when she became pregnant!
Rising Star
Truth. Can’t tell you how many times I was told to “just relax and it’ll happen”. Tell that to my two miscarriages and three failed embryo transfers.