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Whats the most embarrassing thing you watched your client do?

likefunnyupliftinghelpful
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We were having a meeting that started a bit late and turned into a late-ish working session. Client was a mid 50s american woman. She made an announcement around 8pm and said “I know you would all rather go home and netflix and chill, but we are glad you decided to chill here with us.” Everyone started laughing at her (mostly a young team of single people) guess she thought the chill in Netflix and chill meant relax, and the team thought it meant something else.

likefunny

Jeeez I thought everyone laughed at her thought that our work day ends before 8pm anyday

like

Division president of a major media company called me into his office to review a budget we sent him. He had the excel spreadsheet up on his computer. During our discussion i suggested cutting 2 items from the budget. To see the impact on the budget, he took out his iPhone and started to add up all the remaining line items. When he got an answer, i suggested next time he could just delete the numbers in two cells. His response... "i'm a creative guy not a finance guy". This man runs a massive business with thousands of employees and doesn't have the excel skills of my middle schooler. No wonder media is in decline. He no longer works there.

likefunny

Classic! We have an inside joke at my work about a quote we got from a client once after a similar snafu: “Hey I’m no techie”.

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Had a client who wasn’t a native English speaker (Frenchman) and would pronounce all sorts of things hilariously. The word sheet was pronounced “shit”, so he would be delivering our presentation and say things like “you take the shit and you send it here” said with austere vehemence. This is the same client who learned the unfortunate and new-to-us expression “topless meeting” from somewhere and came into an all women meeting saying “ok you are too distracting. from now until tomorrow, we have topless meeting”. He meant we were too distracted and he wanted a meeting without laptops.

funnylikesmart

You can only fuckus in topless meeting. Close your laptops!

likefunny

Just yesterday, my client wanted to say we need all hands on deck. He actually said, “We need to gangbang this thing”.

likefunnysmart

Great office reference

Call everything they are doing agile even though none of it is agile aside from the titles and holding pointless scrum meetings 🤷🏼‍♂️

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

“Architects of confusion” sounds like the world’s worst emo band.

like

Use the term 'money shot' to refer to a key slide in a presentation.

likefunnysmarthelpful

Lol sc9 I can't wait till I'm the client 😂 I'll be doubling over at shit like this

Hire a company called Guidehouse

likefunny

💀 💀 💀

My team lead is from London. This was with a client in Texas. Client: That's a neat accent you got there, where are you from? Team lead: Thank you! I moved here from England a few years ago. Client: Well your English is very good. Team lead: ...Thank you!

likefunnysmart

He meant American English not English English 😂

like

I have a client who is from Mexico that refers to me as his gringo sidekick 😑 he means well but could really benefit from some social awareness haha

likefunnysmart

A1, sounds like you could benefit from some cultural awareness on Latin America.

like

Exist.

likefunnysmart

In a Meeting one Client almost started to cry because she had 20 unanswered Emails and could not handle the pressure

likefunnysmarthelpful

Monthly flatrate at the cafeteria. Sounds like a fantastic deal!

Pay 100ks of $$ to tell them what they already know in the form of a deck

likefunny

A client, who was quite short, discovered that just because she can't see over the wall of her cubicle that it doesn't mean those of us who are average height or taller can't see her when she's changing her bra at her desk... 😬

funnylike

Have you let her know you can see her, so she can do it elsewhere? If not, kinda creepy/weird on your part

like

We have this one female client (not a direct client- but someone who works closely with our client) on site who went up to one of our female managers after she got married: Client: “Hey X, you pregnant yet?” Manager: “Oh hey client! Nope - not pregnant yet!” Client: “Heh-Heh-Heh you sure?” Manager: “yup im sure!” *a few hours later Client: “Hey X...you sure?” 😂

funnylikehelpful

Something similar happened recently.. I made a comment about how excited I was for a coworker to be expecting a baby soon, and another coworker (client) said “that will be you soon..” and I said “definitely not anytime soon!” And he again said “sometime soon” ....... what

Print an Excel on an A3-size paper and check our numbers with pen, paper and calculator

likefunnysmart

I like this guy

like

Root for UGA

likefunnyuplifting

Should have attended Georgia Tech, go Jackets

like

Previous firm- Team Lead: Oh, btw Jesus is here Client: is he walking on water yet? Jesus (hey-soos) was a high ranking firm executive.

funnylikesmart

One of the client’s technical people my team out in a status meeting that we hadn’t provided enough support to help them develop something they had been assigned. We set up a meeting the next day with the client project sponsor (SVP), the client PM and our team, and asked them to walk through the work they had completed so far and where they required additional support from us. It was obvious within about 5 minutes that this guy hadn’t actually done any of the work he was assigned and was trying to deflect blame to us. Needless to say, we were told that the SVP had a few strong words for them after the meeting

likefunnysmart

This is alarmingly common.

likefunnyhelpful

His pants dropped when he went to shake my hand!! He had lost 70 pounds recently..

likefunny

Poor guy! 😭 good on him for losing all that weight though

like

Hire our firm.

likefunnysmart

That almost sounds threatening 😂

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