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What's the rudest thing a client has said to you?

likehelpfuluplifting
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I was doing appellate work for a client that was a big mortgage servicing company that had a national presence along with a habit of dropping appellate cases on us just days before our briefs were due. After grinding non stop for several days to meet the filing deadline, I sent a copy of my brief to my contact for the client, a micro managing VP. She read my brief, which was solid work product and eventually got us back to the trial court on remand, and noticed a minor typo within the first few pages. Because of this typo, she scolded me and said that I needed to rewrite it. Not the meanest thing to say, but I was so burnt out and got pretty butt hurt about it.

One typo out of +10,000 words is pretty good if you ask me. And I’m sure the appellate justices would totally disregard the merits of my arguments because I accidentally wrote “trail court” instead of “trial court.” Thank goodness for that wise and vigilant VP!

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I'm a woman, of average height and build. Not what society would consider overweight. My client told me that his daughter just died from complications of obesity and he thinks that I could lose some weight as well. He said he's just concerned because of what just happened to his daughter. He told me I need to exercise. When I told him I lift weight multiple times a week, he said that's not enough, I also need to run.
He THEN said "well, you'll never be on the cover of magazines but....well, you're smart. So that's good."

likefunny

Wow! I am soo sorry that happened to you.

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Recent IconRecent

This is urgent

likefunny

“The damage that email just did may be difficult to remedy. It should never have been sent.” It was an open items list.

likefunny

Hilarious. A little dramatic are we?

“Get your f**cking ass up and work.”

Oh wait, that was Kim K.

likefunny

I had a client that would always reach out to me, the junior on the matter, because the partner and senior associate were women…. Two years later he finds out I’m not white and fires the Firm

likefunny

Wow this is ridiculous.

I also hate when clients ask me questions. Makes me feel so awkward, like leave me alone I don’t have actual power here.

“You have somehow made me despise you more than I despise the opposing side”

likefunny

When I was a jr, the partner was sitting on a draft I had turned and the client called me demanding to know where it was. Wouldn’t take any kind of “we will have it by the end of the day” or anything like that, demanded to know if I had the pen on it. Then he threatened to fire my firm. Like dude I’m not even close to being a partner, please do.

likefunny

Lol these guys will have been in-house for like 2 years and suddenly it’s news to them that the person who circulates documents and invites needs sign-off on things.

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For context, today I got "What part of call me on my office line didn't you understand" when the client never actually said to call on his office line.

likefunny

I don’t care if they’re a paying client that’s just disrespectful.

After asking me to attend a call they said “and you’ll be serving more of an administrative function on this call so we would appreciate if you didn’t bill for it” lol how about I don’t dial in.

likefunnysmart

I’d defo have billed and just taken it to the partner to write off, or have ask the partner if they’d rather let the client know we won’t be attending the call.

likefunny

“You caused this whole mess”

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Caused is a strong word. Contributed maybe.

likefunny

Client said, are you stupid or do you just not know?

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Not to me directly, but on a call with the partner and a client, the client mentioned a ski trip to Europe. Partner said something to the effect of “am I invited?” Client (who was in a bad mood, and to be clear, sucks) replied “Yeah how about I take your wife instead? You can come but only she’s allowed in the room. You can stay in the lodge.” The partner just kinda chuckled and then turned to the matter at hand. I lost almost all respect for both of them in that moment.

likefunny

A17, it’s almost like you know exactly who I’m talking about.

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“Listen here little girl…”

likefunny

I had a male client refuse to look at me or call me by name. I was "her" and "she" for an entire meeting.

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Smh, ewww!

“And am I going to be billed for [task they are asking us to do]”

likefunny

I bill the clients who never leave me alone, and I bill them for everything. Eventually they figure it out and stop.

Not a client but opposing counsel on the second day of a depo, on the record, when he realized that the strategy behind the first days questioning and letting his client rant, “you are the biggest c—ksucker I have ever met.” Framed the two pages and put it on my office wall.

funnylike

Got fired and only found out because their new attorney sent me a letter asking for the file 🤣

likefunny

This!

Got fired twice, once because the client’s wife kept harassing me so I finally said I could only communicate with the client without written authorization and the other time because I wouldn’t tell the client’s mom about her daughter’s case (I was pro bono doing criminal defense because daughter was indigent, but once mom wanted to meddle she paid for an attorney).

Something about how I did not read her emails properly and how she had no confidence in me because I lacked attention to detail. She was also happy to gloat that I had missed something and that she had picked it up. Something that I had explained to her was not necessry to cover (although I ended up covering at her insistence - fairly certain this will bite her in the arse in about 3 years' time). Very new client and her emails were paragraphs of complete gibberish, riddled with mispellings, with no coherent application of grammar or punctuation. No one copied in to her emails understood what she was saying. I didn't take it personally but the partner I worked for did, and I had to talk him out of replying with snark. Even his assistant who is normally like Teflon about rude behaviour said she saw the emails and it was on her mind constantly.

A different client who I did work for on a pro bono basis (although he did not know that but surely would have figured it out since I never billed him) would hound me and wrote to me once with nothing else but "tick tock" because I had not replied to him a few days about something that was frankly not urgent.

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I billed him incrementally after the "tick tock" email.

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One word reply: “TLDR”

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My favorite was when I was in private practice. A client told me I was making it difficult when I told them that we had to respond to discovery. I guess they thought you file a lawsuit and the money flows in like water 😂

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I had a client who once was adamant about taking her case all the way to trial. She immediately caved after being served with the first set of interrogatories.

Met a client for the first time and he went on and on about “how young they’re making lawyers these days” and how he “can’t even believe [I’m] old enough to be a lawyer.” Needless to say, I didn’t find it as amusing as he did

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Did you tell him that we’re not getting younger he’s just getting older?

likefunnyuplifting

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