What’s your biggest hardship you’ve faced in life?
I lost my mother in a plane crash back home in Nigeria, watched it unfold, was homeless while in college, abused while in foster care.

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Really hard to pinpoint because it's sort of my entire life: grew up with single mother in abject poverty in a developing country. Came to the US on my mother's marriage visa only to find her partner abusive. I dialed the cops one day while only knowing a handful of English words. Lived in several shelters in the next few years. Eventually moved out to low income apartments.

Went to college and had the best four years of my life. Learned a lot, experienced a lot, healed a lot, met so many wonderful people. Learned that my mother also had abusive tendencies so still trying to heal from that. I don't blame her since trauma often passes through generations. But I hope that I healed enough and am strong enough to break the cycle.

I never tell people these parts of my life -- not because I'm ashamed but because it never comes up and I feel like people cringe/feel sorry for me and I'm not a huge fan of that. But it does feel good to let it out sometimes.

Stay strong OP, we got this.

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I’m doing better, beat all the statistics and I’m working for one of the best firms in the world. I came a long way

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I am so sorry to hear that! Everything I have endured pales in comparison to what you have gone through. I just hope you are doing well now and having a good life. ❤️

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I Can relate to you 100% i never really had friends. I had too much going on, with all the abuse and neglect. Idk how i made it out of high school and college with all the trauma i endured.

Glad i don’t look like what I’ve been through, i do take it with a grain of salt and make sure i work hard, grind and hustle my ass off. And make sure my kids never go through what i did...i would’ve failed as a father if i let my kids struggle

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Dang Bro or Sis that's tough. I too lost my mother when I was 9 in Nigeria due to medical malpractice but didn't have anything else close to what you went through. Keep on pushing through ✊🏿 🇳🇬

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Thanks man. Def bro. It’s been tough, i see what lack of female presence in life does smh it’s been hard

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C2 and OP - I hope you both did / do EMDR to truly heal the trauma in order to not be caught in the generational curse. I wish I had done it sooner. The therapist has to be certified, not just trained. It may take several tries to find the right therapist. You are both incredibly strong willed, but in all reality it takes more than your strong will to break the generational curse.

OP thank you for sharing and starting this thread.

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EMDR actually feels as if my PTSD one day will be cured.

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The Body Keeps Score. Worth a read.

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I’ll check it out

OP - You're a strong person and an inspiration. More power to you.

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Thank you! I’m out here tryna empower youth in foster care and that have gone through traumatic experiences

Mad respect. How did you manage being homeless in college? And did anyone notice?

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Showered at the gym, always at “practice”, slept in parks. I’d get some friends to let me use their meal plans since their parents sent them money.
My family is all in Nigeria so I’ve been here all by myself. It was a struggle man but i knew what i wanted in life and told myself this is the lowest in life i ever want to be. It won’t happen again, not while i have control of my life

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