When a man (who based on your role should be respectful toward you) is being completely condescending, how do you navigate? I called some1 out 2dy but feel I should have had more ‘tools’ available...

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Said man should be respectful of you regardless of role and not necessarily because of it. Sorry you’re going through that though.

I’m honestly not sure what other tool you could have. I think that was a good, direct approach. How did he respond to it? Maybe try to raise it separately 1on1 if you two weren’t alone. Does he know he has that tendency? If it’s getting out of hand I might raise it to a manager

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... to me to help navigate rather than just saying ‘I am sure you don’t mean to, but you’re coming across as quite condescending right now. Can we just adjust a little bit so we can try and navigate this situation in a civil way’. Curious how others might have tackled... can back pocket them for the next time (read: tomorrow when he does the same thing).

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Get a witness. Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy or easily offended, but if one person observes the behavior and also finds it not okay, you have an ally, someone who can additionally call out the behavior. Likewise you can return the favor if it happens to them. If I’m in a room where I see/hear someone being put down in some way, or if someone says something inappropriate, I always try to call it out or at least acknowledge my dissent by saying like “yikes” or “did that strike a nerve, Kevin?”

You can say to him “when you address me or respond to something I’ve said, please give me the courtesy I show you. You might not intend this but when you...it signals that you might not appreciate my experience and role here, not that that should matter. We should make it a point to be respectful of all our colleagues.” And if he doesn’t get the point, you corner him and you say “Listen here. Apparently you don’t understand what respect looks like and sounds like. So Im done with you. Here’s exactly what I expect from you and if you have a problem we can go talk to your boss right now."

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