When a manager silently laughs at ur “naïveté” while ur presenting bc they know u don’t understand the material. I look at him and he immediately stops 😥😤 How to internally handle being laughed at?

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I would ask for feedback with this person and let them know that the behavior was distracting and disrespectful. Acknowledge that you felt unprepared and discuss how to avoid that next time. What tactical things can you do to prepare? Who should you talk to to verify your understanding?

I’m sorry about the situation - this sounds really frustrating, and it’s not right to laugh at a colleague who is inexperienced. It undermines their credibility and confidence. Not very inspiring leadership!

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To clarify: He was laughing not in a scoffing way but more like he was laughing at his kid struggling to get on a bike. Not sure if it’s unprofessional of him or if I just need to Woman up. Felt like I was being treated like a child - it was embarrassing, i felt pathetic, and my self-esteem def took a hit. Has this ever happened to anyone..?

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I can say as a male who manages women, he should know better than to do that given the optics. I also manage female employees and there are things i have to watch out for. He sounds insensitive.

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True that ^ Despite general stereotypes of women, gender wasn’t really the core issue here. Also referring to my comment later in the thread, if you feel like you need to “watch out” for the way you treat women for fear of “bad optics” that affect YOUR reputation - that’s also insensitive and I wouldn’t call that respect. It’s good that you are aware, but treat women with respect because you understand that they deserve it.

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i agree with McK1 but would take a slightly different approach. i do think that you should confront and ask for feedback but i don’t think you should bring up the fact that you found it disrespectful unless it happens again.

something to the effect of “hey, you seemed to be paying attention in the meeting - do you have any feedback on my presentation?” should spur him to 1) consider what he might be doing that you would notice him 2) provide candid feedback 3) not do it again

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Thank you, @McK 1 - that was reassuring and helpful!

likeuplifting

Well, do you completely understand the material?

likefunny

I only read the title and I thought the manager was smiling and looking at her as if "oh you sweet child.." Which is not great, but eh. If he was actually laughing out loud, Id be concerned

Your manager shouldn’t be laughing at you, this is poor management. He/she should be coaching you, pushing you and rooting for you.
Ideally you shouldn’t be presenting things you don’t understand. Seems like with this manager it’s tough to ask questions of for guidance when you’re uncertain.

You may need to really push on this project through the uncomfortable and unnecessary moments and make sure you speak up during internal meets when you’re uncertain. I respect people on my teams who do this. Chances are, if you have a question, many others in the room likely have the same thing, or you might highlight something no one else thought of (what we pay you for 😁)

If the bad behavior on the manager continues, be sure to address in a coffee chat with his/her superior when they visit. Ie.. I’ve been having some challenges working with so and so and I wanted your tips on how i can build a stronger apprenticeship approach with him/her.

Typically I’d say raise this directly with the manager first- this seems like blatant disrespect though. Ehh second thought, have a convo with the mgr, give them a chance to course correct, then raise to leadership.

The leader will likely ask “what sort of problems” and you can divulge a bit more detail. I wouldn’t put them on blast, but make sure your concerns are known.

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I doubt the manager meant to make you feel so bad. I’d welcome that feedback from an associate and make sure to never make that mistake again.

Don’t lose your confidence with this manager. Prepare better, try to anticipate questions, be able to describe why you approached the analysis a certain way, be able to succinctly communicate data limitations, open items and next steps,

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Agree the manager was not doing this to make you feel bad, still needs serious attention.

@SC1 - I would hope people in the modern workplace treat women with respect not because of optics but because of their will 😐

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Use the internal a-hole behaviors, to practice and toughen up for client meetings. You need to feel comfortable standing in front of the firing squad and stand your ground (or role with the punches if you're in the wrong)

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What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger I guess. This issue wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things - I’ve been through worse things at work. I suppose this just bothered me the most. I can handle some harsh feedback, but I’m not okay with being mocked.

Well if the client did the same , how would u react ?

My 2 cents would be u can’t stop any one else from laughing. People are assholes . Don’t let them affect you .

@ BCG 1 I was new to the project and industry, so it sucks to be laughed at when you’re still learning 🙄

I will note that he’s actually an incredibly understanding director who goes out of his way to help you understand things. He’s not an a*hole but his behavior still definitely ticked me off. I’ll admit I can be under-confident sometimes so I can see why that’d make me susceptible to not being taken seriously. I didn’t make anything of it because he has good intentions at heart, but this moment still left a bad taste in my mouth..

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