When communicating boundaries, or saying no to a request from a colleague or even a manager, sometimes I feel like I'm being seen as hard to work with rather than stating my boundraries...is it just me?

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Same! You just have to learn their “lingo” always phrase it that it will affect their bottom line. No one wants to hear it’s gonna affect their results or revenue. Take your emotions out of the response and only state the facts. Go in your best “victim mode”


You have a really good point. I do find if you can figure out their lingo the conversations go so much smoother.

It's one thing if they are asking for your help because you are knowledgeable about their work, it's another of they want you to complete their work and set yours aside. Setting expectations/ boundaries with these co-workers is important. Those may include "if you can help" , "when and how much time you can give". Also being clear about your own workload, even if you think they should know, is also helpful. Folks are not always considerate of others until you spell it out to them.


People don’t like hearing the words “No” so I just manipulate my words so I can manipulate people.

“This project is currently not within my scope and would set back hard deadlines for existing projects.”
“I do not have the bandwidth to take on additional projects as this will negatively affect deadlines.”
“This does not fall within my set OKRs, therefore cannot be mutually prioritized. This will have to wait until my current project is finished.”

For context, I’ve had to tell a CEO that if they want me to make a last minute change to a design, it’s going to take me at least 2-3 hours to confirm that the change doesn’t compromise the overall design, so they’re not going to get those designs delivered when they want it delivered.


This is SOOOO true. People really don't like the word no.


No, it is not just you. Setting boundaries is hard in general. But it is especially hard at work.


Hmmmm. I need more context with this🤔

Related Posts

As a young professional I find myself wondering what happened to loyalty? My parents worked in a time where you worked your way up at one or two companies over 20 years.


Thoughts on Uncle D losing the navy and going straight black with the green dot?


Quit job. Thinking about freelancing. I heard i just get a tax number and thats it?! Also, apparently before 8600 per year you don’t need to declare taxes? Is that right?

KPMG GS is hiring for tax role

1. Executive Role (1-2 year exp)
2. Senior associate (3-5 exp)
3. Assistant manager (6-7 exp)
4. Manager
5. Associate director (10-12 exp)

One who has already applied pls ignore

Dm me for further details


The agency I’m working at is not what I was expecting at all but it hasn’t been that long since I got this job (full-time.) How long would you say it won’t look bad to move to another agency?


Anyone in NYC receive a LinkedIn message about an IVY party? What’s this about?


Curious, who has off on Monday and who doesn't?


Joined Virtusa at 21.5 lpa (20 lac fix + 1 lac var + 50k JB)
YoE 8 yrs
Tech - RPA Dev
Curr ctc - 9 lpa fix

Virtusa purposely gave me offer one night before LWD on the name of approvals and I didnt get time to revise other lower offers of
1. Wipro - 15 lpa (13.5 lac fix + 1.5 lac var)
2. TCS - 18 lpa (16.2 fix + 1.8 var)
3. UBS - 18 lpa fix (No var).. not considered due to support proj

I asked 22 fixed to Virtusa but they gave 20 without seeing my offers, did I make good choice overall?

Should I buy a house now or in the Spring?


Advice: if your current company comes back and counteroffer you more money when they find out you’re leaving for other opportunities, would you stay or still leave? The culture isn’t bad and the hours are normal but the work is just boring and below my level of expertise


Leclerc during the pre-race strategy briefing.

Post Photo

Comparing CSR, CSP, and AMEX Delta Plat. Any thoughts and experiences with these cards?


Anyone feels they are a Subject Matter Expert in the Generics market? I would love to pick your brain....

Wedding planning for next spring and oh dear god this is stressful. I have zero time for it and neither does my fiancé. Considering a planner, but I can’t really get myself to pay $4k-$5k just on someone to help me plan a single evening. It’s one night. I just want a party that is pretty and everyone has a good time. Why is this so hard?!?!


What should be the salary of a senior seo manager at a decent sized agency in Toronto. I am being offered 110k base + 20% bonus for hitting retention and revenue targets.

I have 8 years of experience in SEO, SEM and paid social


Hi fishes,

Looking for devops opening.
Yoe: 2.3
Certified in aws and azure.
Tech/tools: Kubernetes, aws,docker, Jenkins, gitlab, terraform, Ansible.
Let me know if any leads..


SF and LA , which is better for gay Asian guys ?

My key skills are LARAVEL(PHP), REACT.JS, NODE.JS and so on for web development


Additional Posts in Women of Color Professionals

Need words of wisdom and encouragement to stay calm. Rationally I know I need to stay still for a couple of months (3-4 months), but emotionally I am not entirely happy. I am impatient; I have a goal and I want to hit it. I am competitive; I have friends who are ahead of me financially and I want to catch up. But right now I am not able to make moves. I feel stuck, even tho I know it’s just gonna be a couple of months. Sigh.


Hi All! For those who have a noticeable accent, have you ever felt judged in group settings? Or is it all in my head?


I’ll be holding space for us on Friday at 4pm ET-5pm ET using the Fishbowl Live feature. Nothing is on the agenda, only “How are you?”
This is a check in, given this month, today’s verdict, then trial for Daunte Wright and anything you want to share.


Looking for mentor in creative field? Anyone here willing to have a discussion

Looking for an Executive Content Writer! If you are or have a good referral for an experienced resume and execute profile builder, please contact me. I’ve been in the same company for the last 10+ years. All my jobs before this have come to me. I’m in new territory now and would love to make sure I have the right coaching and preparation for the next step of my career.


I keep hearing that it's a job seekers' market. But how come the seekers are having such a hard time securing an interview much less a job. Am I being punk'd?


Hi all, I’m seeking mentorship as I try to transition into a communications role. Ideally the role will be a senior level role since I have years of work experience as a paralegal but I need guidance and a push. Any suggestions are appreciated!!


Hello. I am having difficulty getting a manager role at my company. I have an MBA, a Black Belt in Lean Six Sigma, 6 years manufacturing experience in nutraceuticals. They say I’m not ready, but the managers above me do not have degrees or certifications. What should I do? How do I get what I’m looking for?


Hi! Can we please address the notorious Queen Bee Syndrome? The amount of times I have encountered a successful woman who distances herself from other women in the workplace in order to succeed is exhausting. They view or treat subordinates more critically especially if they are a female of colour. They refuse to help other women rise up the ranks as a form of self-preservation. Women of colour are exhausted and tired of constantly proving we belong. Any advice on how to deal with these people?


Hey everyone! I’m interviewing for a Business Intelligence Generalist role that requires 1.5+ years of database or SQL experience. Do you know of any resources that can help introduce me to SQL? Thanks in advance!


My law firm announced over a week ago that they will be giving us off for Juneteenth Friday and will continue every year. Great move, except I have two (obviously white) superiors who I guess didn’t get the memo and have given me two deadlines on Friday already. I work in Big Law so working holidays sometimes happens, but it is clear that they just don’t even realize. How do I bring this up? As my sections only Black associate, I’m incredibly annoyed.


Hey ladies, anyone here work in marketing (agency side), how much bonus can a senior analyst expect to receive at EOY and how much salary increase is expected?


Hi, I currently work at a corporate law firm and found out I was being severely underpaid (almost 15k). I asked for them to adjust my salary as people who came into the form after me and have less experience are being paid way more than me. They just said we can’t at this time. I feel really demotivated and unappreciated and want to leave. If you all know any place hiring for a legal assistant/paralegal please DM me. Thanks for the help!


Hello! I talked with a recruiter at GAP Solutions Inc. about a Clinical Advisor position in Rockville, Maryland and asked for a range of 125-135k and I got a written message that if all goes well, they can give me 125k. Typical! Research shows the average salary as 151k and I'd like to push for closer to 140k. Do I keep my mouth shut until after the interview or do I say something now? I don't want to dissuade them but I also don't want to waste time. I make about $110k now.


I came to the US 7 yrs ago as an intl student, escaping a very abusive household. Lost 2 immediate family members since. Much of my time here I've been food/housing insecure but I got my degree despite evrythin aftr 6 yrs. Waited another yr for a work permit. I've been job hunting for an analyst role for 5 months. Zero interest from employers. My major was all over the place:ENGR->Game Design->Digital Media. I yearn for financial independence. After everything, now I'm losing faith. Reaching out


Hey everyone, I've been interning at this company In NYC since end of August 2022, I really love the work I've been doing there and have really connected with the values of the company along with everyone's leadership skills and the knowledge they been pouring into me. I wanted to talk to my internship supervisor and see if there is a possible full time permanent position for me at the company after my internship is completed what would be the best way to do this and how can I stand out to them?

Anyone in here who made the jump from full-time design work to freelance? I’m having difficulty with the expectations of a full-time agency employee (basically living for work instead of the reverse) as well as the inevitable problems that arise as a black woman just existing in the workplace. Wondering if anyone else made the switch and is finding work/office politics a little easier.


New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here


Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site


Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone


Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or