{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When Coronavirus hit NYC mid-March my husband abandoned me to go to Arizona with his mistress (I didn’t know I was being cheated on!) It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am also his sponsor on his green card via marriage. He has his conditional green card for 18 more months. I feel he used me for immigration. I’m starting a new job in 3 weeks. It will be a nice distraction but I am just not emotionally well. I am trying to go through the divorce process too. (Cont)", "post_id": "5f08a60a479111002167ba21", "reply_count": 24, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising", "feed_type": "bowl" }

When Coronavirus hit NYC mid-March my husband abandoned me to go to Arizona with his mistress (I didn’t know I was being cheated on!) It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am also his sponsor on his green card via marriage. He has his conditional green card for 18 more months. I feel he used me for immigration. I’m starting a new job in 3 weeks. It will be a nice distraction but I am just not emotionally well. I am trying to go through the divorce process too. (Cont)

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I’m so sorry! I would report him to ICE for fraud. I’m sure he’ll get deported, which he totally deserves. Onward and upward!

likeupliftingsmart

CD1 - Read my response to the OP. She still could be liable for fraud if she reports him. Which is why calling ICE won’t help.
My expertise is having gone through this very not easy and as it seems process and asking tough questions about divorce.

You’re welcome.

I have a great immigration lawyer if you’d like me to pass on her details! She’s based in nyc

likeuplifting

@Account Manager 1 I just sent you a message

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American married to an (amazing!) immigrant here...the below is based on info given to us to read by our attorney when we first married:

If you are still in your “wait and see” period after marriage, which is basically BEFORE you’ve seen an immigration officer to determine the validity of your marriage should report this ASAP. But reading that he has his conditional green card also makes me thing think this is afterwards. If so, you still need to report him to your local immigration office immediately before his 18months is over and YOU need to be the person doing it as you could also be liable for fraud even if you divorce him. If you don’t have one already with your divorce, get an attorney as they can help sort the documents that prove that he defrauded you and that is the basis for your divorce. There are attorneys who specialize in this as well. This is important because ppl “divorce” all the time and that is ALSO part of the scam. So in essence you need to prove why you are divorcing and that this isn’t pre-planned by the born of you. He sounds like a dog, and a dog will say “she knew/she was in on it!” That’s what you want to avoid. Even here you will need to prove the validity of your divorce like you did your marriage. Then, the court will decide what to do with him afterwards.

Good luck to you. I’m so sorry this happened and don’t give up on love.

likesmart

👆🏼wow. This also mAkes me think OP should try to text and email her hubs as much as possible so she can screenshot everything for documentation. OP even if you have to ask questions you already know the answer to and sound dumb, who cares. Hey everything on screens and save it. So you have proof. ❤️to you.

Change your passwords on every account you own and make sure your credit and finances are separate and secure. Mentally, think of every way he could potentially f*ck you over and/or get revenge and make sure you’re protected. Then, figure out what you want out of this situation. Unless he owes you a significant amount of money, I would go for a clean break vs. trying to get back at him by having him deported or whatever. Get this jerk out of your life. He’s wasted enough of your time and energy. Let him be someone else’s problem.

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Independent, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have three pieces of advice: get a good lawyer, get a good therapist, and do not allow your anger at him to change who you are for the worse. My best friend spent years in a twisted rage and legal battle when her husband cheated on her. It ended in depression, anger, and financial ruin. It took years for her to get back to who she was in her heart. I suggest studying Stoicism. It helps. But if you seek revenge against him, or some form of “justice,” you may spend a lot of time and energy in that pursuit, which steals your time and energy from focusing on a positive future for yourself. So rid yourself of him quickly and don’t look back. Resentment and revenge are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I wish you peace.

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I’m sorry this happened to you, but God has given you a new door to walk through when others are dying to even see a door. Say bye bye and oops Arizona is the new COVID hot zone. Sign the divorce papers, start your new job with a new attitude and tell the cheating man to kiss your new employed butt. PS: don’t look back and dump whatever is left of his In your house...bad vibes. Good luck! Great future is ahead of you.

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We have been married for 1.5 years and he has been cheating on me since October. He wants to stay in the USA and has said he will remarry someone else when we divorce to stay. Help what can/should I do? I have a bunch of evidence of his infidelity and fraud. 3 weeks after he got his conditional green card he fled with his Mistress.

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Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry this happened to you! What a jerk. Lawyers usually offer free consultations, so I'd definitely try to meet with one to understand your rights and options now. And recommend talking to a therapist to help you emotionally navigate through this time.

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Came here to say this. Good lawyers will offer free consultations and will help you understand your options in this situation. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. As trapped as you might feel right now, I promise there are ways out of this.

Also, a divorce is tough enough. If you can, take some PTO to sort this out, cry it out and work through the paperwork.

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I’m so sorry this happened to you. Long story on how I know this but you can report fraud to the uscis. I would contact your lawyer though and make sure you have enough evidence to say you were fully into the marriage and didn’t help him commit this fraud. Since he also said he’ll just marry another person I would keep whatever he said that on as evidence too. Good luck and I hope you do great at your job. You’re stronger than he is and you’ll end up on top!

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I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I don’t have much advice other than to please be kind to yourself, and find a counselor to help you through what I’m sure are a lot of difficult emotions right now.

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry this happened to you.

Likewise, I don't have any advice, but sending you support.
It could be worth talking to an immigration lawyer. But you may not want to incur the costs or emotional labor. Definitely think about a therapist to help support you.

Also - what a dirtbag :(((

OP i am super sorry to hear this. Get out of it while keeping as much of your money and sanity as you can. Get a therapist. Then let karma take care of that D bag. Also, cardio. Run or dance it out.

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