{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When Coronavirus hit NYC mid-March my husband abandoned me to go to Arizona with his mistress (I didn’t know I was being cheated on!) It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am also his sponsor on his green card via marriage. He has his conditional green card for 18 more months. I feel he used me for immigration. I’m starting a new job in 3 weeks. It will be a nice distraction but I am just not emotionally well. I am trying to go through the divorce process too. (Cont)", "post_id": "5f08a89cc589200028f27696", "reply_count": 156, "vote_count": 64, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

When Coronavirus hit NYC mid-March my husband abandoned me to go to Arizona with his mistress (I didn’t know I was being cheated on!) It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am also his sponsor on his green card via marriage. He has his conditional green card for 18 more months. I feel he used me for immigration. I’m starting a new job in 3 weeks. It will be a nice distraction but I am just not emotionally well. I am trying to go through the divorce process too. (Cont)

likefunnyhelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Conditional status is granted so after 2 years, they can determine if this was a legitimate attempt at marriage. It doesn’t have to be a successful marriage. It can actually end in divorce and not cost him his permanent resident status. But by the sound of what you’re saying—abandoning you immediately after conditional status was granted—one would bee hard-pressed to say this was a legitimate attempt.

If your goal is to get his status removed—and I’m not condoning that—then I imagine a quick divorce could actually help him remarry before the process to remove conditional status comes up.

If it were me, I would set the immigration issue aside—that’s the government’s problem now—and just take care of your divorce with minimum damage so you can move on with your life. But consult your divorce lawyer and/or an immigration lawyer about any obligations you might have as a sponsor.

likesmart
Recent IconRecent

SJWs: Abolish ICE!
OP: I'm an American and my immigrant husband is cheating on me.
Also SJWs: Call ICE immediately and let him to be deported.

likefunnysmart

Meant the general counsel*

No need to play dirty and stress yourself out. Just divorce him and leave it in your passed. He wasn’t shit to begin with. Karma will eventually catch up with him.

likeuplifting

I may be wrong but I think for the first few years you are held financially responsible for the person you sponsor....might want to look into that. You look out for you, make sure you are taken care of. As for him, don’t let what he did take any more energy out of you. He is not worth it and like it has been said, karma will catch up to him! No doubt. Wish you the best of luck.

likesmarthelpful

Ohh and if you have any joint accounts, withdraw everything before he does. Cancel all joint credit cards immediately.

likesmarthelpfulfunny

I canceled all joint accounts when I discovered what had happened!

likesmart

Your lawyer should help you with that. They would submit that the marriage was entered into for fraudulent purposes (entering the country). ICE would take it up from there. Focus on exiting, hide assets, and then treat yourself.

likesmarthelpful

She said she has evidence of infidelity (probably communications between the two of them). If she has evidence and they can track spending/records to corroborate the accusation, should be pretty simple to prove that he is cheating. Also track his phone records for the past 4 months and see that he’s in Arizona

like

We have been married for 1.5 years and he has been cheating on me since October. He wants to stay in the USA and has said he will remarry someone else when we divorce to stay. Help what can/should I do? I have a bunch of evidence of his infidelity and fraud. 3 weeks after he got his conditional green card he fled with his Mistress.

like

Consultant 4, you’re my new go to person

OP, I’d also post this in the Women in Consulting bowl for advice (whether you’re a woman or not) - lots of great advice and helpful people there. If you don’t have access, I’m happy to post a link to this post from that bowl.

likesmarthelpful

Take care of yourself first. It’s a lot of hurt and I hope you realized you are still young and it is not your fault. Know that he is the one who is at loss for taking someone who loves his so much for granted. Focus on self love and then find community that could help you get out of this relationship ASAP. Keep the evidence of his infidelity and if able, hire an immigration lawyer to help you.

like

You have great answers already. Yes, document everything and do what is right for you. You deserve better. Life/justice will take care of your ex. As a man, loyal husband, and first generation immigrant, I hope these guy gets deported. He cheated on you and the system.

like

It’s not that easy. Specially for you since you will be investigated as well and ICE may see you as an accomplice. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s definitely your call but I just wanted to offer a few words of support. *hugs*

like

I’m not familiar with ICE’s operational processes re:fraud, but wouldn’t it make OP look less guilty if they reported this themselves rather than waiting for ICE to potentially discover this on their own?

like

Stop thinking divorce, and file for an annulment! Green card fraud is grounds for an annulment in NY.

likesmarthelpful

OP- I’m sorry you are going through this! If you don’t want stress - Don’t get involved with ICE, it will be messy and require you to appear in court and give all kind of statements. Your husband could also lie and say you had agreed to an arrangement which could potentially result to your arrest. Divorce him ASAP, take all the $ you can and leave him in the past. This pandemic has been a blessing, you took out the trash!

likehelpful

IANAL, but DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT.

Dates, times, direct quotes. Screenshots. Save everything. Look out for #1!

likehelpful

Yikes this is why I don’t want to marry an American (I’m international). Lots of regular marriages end up in divorce for different reasons, but when green card marriage does fail, the first assumption is always because the foreigner took advantage of the American one and not because of real love at one point. Although in your case, your husband seems premeditated, so that’s different.

likefunny

This is probably very rare though. It would be good to see a statistic of what happens at divorce in many of these cases (and I presume parties generally move on). This kind of story sucks, but it’s somewhat sensational and likely not representative.

like

Don't report him to ICE. Contact a lawyer, and let the lawyer do that process. That way you're prepared and protected for any complications.

But yeah, I'd stop being at all cooperative with this man. You're so much better than him. He didn't care about your happiness, so it's time for you to take control of it.

likesmart

Don’t do anything. Move forward. Let karma do it’s thing.

likefunny

I'm sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, cheating is not evidence of a fraudulent marriage just a failed one.

Once it comes time for him to file the I-751 to remove conditions, he can do it without you with proof of his bona fide marriage to you and a divorce waiver.

I understand you're hurt but your only options are (1) annul the marriage for fraud, which will hamper his immigration case or (2) move on.

You decide what's best for you and work with your attorney.

likesmarthelpful

Hi OP, does your firm offer legal insurance? If so, use it. It may give you some financial relief.

like

OP, how are you doing?

like

OP I am going through a similar greed card process with my wife. You need to speak to am immigration lawyer immediately!

likehelpful

@Manager 2 I just sent you a message

like

If OP reports him to ICE, isn’t she an accomplice

like

Not necessarily. If she states that she knew going into that it was a farce, she would be in trouble for the collusion but if she didn’t know and found out later she can report it as just that.

like

It’s pretty clear he used you for a green card. Something similar happened to my sister. It’s awful but you’ll get through this. Report him for fraud and divorce him.

like

@OP please report him.
The same thing happened to me. I never reported him and I regret it so much.

likesmart

Related Posts

Did anyone hear a decision on their H1B 2021 cap petition from EY already?

like

How much is payout to company (pwc) if i leave as soon as i get my green card?

like

Hi Fishes,🐋🐳🦈🐬🐟🐠🐡
Let's hear about your journey, how did you land in US/UK/EU/Canada/Japan from India? preferably direct hire with Visa sponsorship.
Pls do share company name & country, Job Portal.
Also it would be great to hear some do's and don't
Hopefully it will help someone who is/are planning for migration and will help him/her to plan better.
TIA

likehelpful

If audit is mainly rolling forward wps, asking the client questions, going to client sites (pre-Covid), and being a required expense, then what is tax?

like

I am on OPT Stem currently in my last year. What are my next options for visa if my company doesn’t want to sponsor me for the H1B?

I live in Boston and was planning to spend New Year’s in NYC 😬 is the covid situation bad as people are making it seem online. Not sure if I should just stay in Boston

like

Has the COVID situation affected your Middle School libraries? Will you do anything different? Will your district have cleaning or distancing guidelines for your space?

Do the desi consultants here have anything beyond visa on their mind?

like

Has anyone successfully ended a 2-year lease early? I got an amazing COVID rate but have been thinking moving in with my bf -- I was hoping to somehow get my lease shortened to 1 year.

like

For my evangelical Trump supporters, have you all heard Trump thank or praise the Lord for getting him through his sickness of COVID?

Or let me guess, Trump Christian obligations are different? He doesn’t have to follow the word of God. Just like he doesn’t follow the laws of the US constitution. Another thing he swears he loves and is all about, but doesn’t follow law and order himself.

likefunny

What are the visa requirements to travel to the US Virgin Islands (St. Croix, St. John or St. Thomas)? I have an expired visa stamp on my passport, but an approved I-797, can I travel and return safely? Conflicting information online, wondering if anyone from out here have done the trip recently.

like

I am an Indian citizen, need to get my visa stamped. Which other country other than India is open now for H1B stamping?

like

Can anyone speak to how long it took for interim authorization and final visa approval for switching employers from within Canada?

like

Does Deloitte puts clients documents in new H1b filing.I heard they don’t use client documents until and unless project is above 1 year ?

like

Does anyone know if I can transfer H1B with an expired passport? I work on H1B which expires in 2023 and can be renewed on an approved I-140. I just got a new offer and the company will file an H1B transfer for me. However my passport expired last month and my consulate is refusing to renewal my passport due to covid.

like

I was in usa for about 4 years from 2014-2018 so still 2 years reaming my h1b. My last stamping expired in Jan 2018 is it possible to renew my h1b? I have b1 visa as well can I travel and then initiate transfer and start working on receipt will that be ok?

Check out my brand new website. Lessontrader.com is a virtual marketplace for teachers to buy and sell resources. Make extra money on your hard work, especially virtual learning materials you developed due to Covid. Teacher sellers make 100% profit on anything they sell!!!!! Sign up today for FREE Membership and start uploading.

Post Photo
like

Do people in their 20s in NYC still go out now, during covid?

like

Will COVID life teach us anything?

Post Photo
likefunnysmarthelpful

Does anyone know someone from Korea who’s moved here professionally? Have a friend who is considering Aus vs US (v strong profile, but unsure about immigration policies and doesn’t know anyone who’s made the jump before)

like

Additional Posts in The Work-Life Bowl

Anyone fan of Cash Flow Banking ? What are the minimal dos and donts one need to be aware of..

YOE : 15
Age 38

Is it too late or still a good time

I’m a manager with 6 YOE and I’ve been wanting to get out of public accounting and try industry. My experience is mostly in private and high net worth clients, so it’s been quite challenging to find industry opportunities. I considered wealth management firms but I think that would make my experience even more specific that it already is. Anyone went through a similar experience? Any advice?

like

How much power does the Secretary of Education really have?

like

I need 11 likes please support

like

Would you rather work in management consulting making 185k or sell SaaS tech making 170k?

like

Need advice related for upcoming Case Interviews

I have limited experience doing case interviews, have a few coming up next week with a single T2 firm and multiple Boutique firms in Data, Analytics, and Accounting/Finance/Digital transformation groups.

Would love to pair up for cases

(Additional info: I have read case interview secrets, and things of that nature. I've also used a case study interview practice website. Any other tips, especially what to focus on in the boutiques?)

Thank you

like

If you work at Cox do you get free internet and cable? Or what’s the discount?

like

Tomorrow is my last day and I am mentally checked out. My team is trying to bombard me with last minute work and questions that they know will be very hard to get done without me.

I gave two weeks notice already and did a knowledge transfer. This ask would be starting something completely new. Realistically it would take probably til 2am or 3am in the morning to complete. I have already made up in my mind that I am going to respectfully decline, but what would y’all do?

like

How many days will it take to complete Background verification in Tiger Analytics?

Who’s happy in their new job? starting the job hunt

like

Hello,


Any recommendations for a junior attorney trying to transition to privacy law practice?

like

Consultant with 1 yr of Consulting Exp and 2 yrs exp as an admin, looking for another opp-suggestions?

like

Any tips on building a home? What to expect?

like
like

I am a very new rider and I’m very afraid when I ride. I am anxious to break and drop the bike.

How much do you have to make as an AE in the Northwest to live comfortably?

like

What is the most valuable or interesting benefit your firm offers? Eg: wellness stipends, tuition reimbursement, sabbatical, etc? Working to improve offerings at a boutique firm.

like

Any business affairs managers out there who also have a JD? If so, would love to connect.

Any suggestions for SPACs? All of 'em seem ballooned at the moment or is there still space to grow?

like

Any experienced senior managers that have moved between Big 4 firms? Can you speak towards your experience, any struggles, and opportunities in terms of partner promotion? Frankly, EY path to partner seems to be too clouded (long pipeline, no clear direction/path, uncertainty on promotion cycles, etc.) at the moment and I would like to visit all options. Appreciate the input.

like

Additional Posts (overall)

Where are the moms on this app? I want kids and I’m planning for the future. How do you schedule for child care/ who is your child care provider? Do you use day care, a nanny, a family member who lives with you or close by? And roughly how much do spend on child care per month?

like

Do you think supply chains will shift out of China bc of this?

like

Is anybody still having trouble finding masks or other PPE?

like

Happy Monday 🐦

Post Photo
likefunny

How do you deal with bosses or clients who throw tantrums? Either ranting about something or being passive aggressive and snarky? I usually just smile and take it, but I don’t feel like we get paid enough to deal with this stuff as often as we do in audit.

like

I am moving out of Ny, I need a city with diversity and good weather close to the beach 🏖 (avoiding places with high risk of natural disasters) I need green I hate winter 🥶. Which cities would you recommend I lived in 🗽 nyc trying to go to something like that cool 😎 less expensive lol maybe but it is not a big deal . I want Seattle but I do not have job opportunities for now there

funnylike

Anyone watching Indian Matchmaking? Aparna and her mother have to be the worst, right? She thinks she's a godsend and quite frankly she looks like a potato, is ignorant, doesn't sound nearly as intelligent as she professes to be, and is even more negative than I am! That's gotta say something.

likefunny
like

Anyone know if companies are doing virtual holiday parties and if so, what are they doing? I’m tasked with planning mine, but if I have to sit on another awkward zoom happy hour I might just explode. Open to suggestions or ideas. My team is spread out internationally, so even sending a stupid “swag” gift is next to impossible.

like

What’s the three best things about your firm. Go on, don’t be bashful

like

What is the somewhat rigid office-centric long hours finance industry going to do moving forward? Is WFH feasible?

like

My day got a little brighter with a new foster puppy! She’s a Great Pyrenese mix that came from a hoarding case. As you can see from her hairless butt and tiny body she needs extra love. I’ll be sure to post an “after picture” when she has bulked up and grown some hair back . What a gem! 🥰

Post Photo
likeupliftingsmart

We are going to be installing a new carpet soon. Any tips on choosing the right kind of carpet and padding? We are going with a local vendor (not Home Depot or Lowe’s). No pets.

like

Things I was concerned about as a child:

- quick sand
- ghosts
- coming across Indian burial grounds and becoming cursed

Things I'm concerned about now:

- slowly getting older and slower
- flossing
- becoming a ghost
- shitting my pants.

likefunny

Is it worth to buy a house scrapping out all your savings as down payment?

like

Anyone have any information on the daily duties of a Scrum Master?

like

Best standing desk for value?
And or/ cheapest functioning standing desk?

like

Excited for my first Happy Hour evening at Frontiers! Food and drinks in the office and the ability to mingle with colleagues IN PERSON, no awkward introductory zoom calls hurrah!

like

Does anyone have any suggestions for a good electronic standing desk for an apartment? Having trouble finding one that fits in small spaces

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Already have an account? Log in

New to Fishbowl?

image with Fishbowl logo and arms reaching out for a handshake

Already have an account? Log in

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Messaging rates may apply

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal