When did queer become ok to say & why? I played “Smear the Queer" as a kid/had no idea what it meant; now I find it as offensive as the N-word. Why “take back” a word instead of just not using it?

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For me Queer is everything not Straight/Cis. Much easier / preferred to the LGBTQIA (bc you’ll leave someone out. In my opinion, Queer is an inclusive term.

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Thanks, I think. I get it, but it still sounds wrong and inappropriate whenever I hear it. I refuse to identify with being queer, will not go to events that label themselves as queer events, and find it uncomfortable to be around people who throw the word around. Was curious if anyone else felt excluded by the use of this “inclusive term”.

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For the same reason that so many other terms are reclaimed (for example, the N-word). Reclamation allows us to take a slur that used to be hurtful, flip it on its head, and turn it into something powerful and self affirming.

Plus, queer is a useful term for our community because it is an (imperfect) descriptor of those who don’t neatly fit into the L, G, B, or T but nonetheless should be part of our community.

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Context is key - when gay people use queer it’s rarely in the negative (“I wish I weren’t queer”). Reclamation means using it in the positive (“I’m proud to be queer”).

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I think this is all generational. I never heard queer as a slur growing up, and I grew up in an environment that was LGBT hostile. I only recently learned that some people share your reaction to the word queer. I did hear gay and lesbian as slurs all the time. I also really dislike when people use gay as an umbrella, so I definitely prefer queer to that. I like LGBT but it feels weird to say “I’m lgbt” so it doesn’t work as well as a personal identifier. I totally respect the experiences you’ve had that have made you feel the way you do about the term, while at the same time think it’s unfair not to let people identify how they feel most comfortable. I have trouble saying I’m bi or lesbian because I’m figuring it out - queer is easier. For trans or questioning individuals, it can be uncomfortable to discuss specifics and so queer is a comfortable umbrella there as well.

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I don't know when exactly, but it's a choice, and you don't have to use it if you don't want :)

@S&1, curious what queer means to you since it doesn't fit into other categories? Example?

I don't use the term either for the same reasons, and because I like LGBT as the term. It's generational though. Use what you like, try not to be offended when others use queer though because they aren't going to care that we're offended, unfortunately.

I feel like LGBT is more exclusive, and I find queer used in more socio-politically radical spaces, which I prefer. But to each their own ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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