{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When did queer become ok to say & why? I played “Smear the Queer\" as a kid/had no idea what it meant; now I find it as offensive as the N-word. Why “take back” a word instead of just not using it?", "post_id": "5a1de7531f453c00192d871c", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f80c96ae9f610010f866a8", "bowl_name": "LGBT 🐠" }

When did queer become ok to say & why? I played “Smear the Queer" as a kid/had no idea what it meant; now I find it as offensive as the N-word. Why “take back” a word instead of just not using it?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

For me Queer is everything not Straight/Cis. Much easier / preferred to the LGBTQIA (bc you’ll leave someone out. In my opinion, Queer is an inclusive term.

like

Thanks, I think. I get it, but it still sounds wrong and inappropriate whenever I hear it. I refuse to identify with being queer, will not go to events that label themselves as queer events, and find it uncomfortable to be around people who throw the word around. Was curious if anyone else felt excluded by the use of this “inclusive term”.

like

For the same reason that so many other terms are reclaimed (for example, the N-word). Reclamation allows us to take a slur that used to be hurtful, flip it on its head, and turn it into something powerful and self affirming. Plus, queer is a useful term for our community because it is an (imperfect) descriptor of those who don’t neatly fit into the L, G, B, or T but nonetheless should be part of our community.

like

Context is key - when gay people use queer it’s rarely in the negative (“I wish I weren’t queer”). Reclamation means using it in the positive (“I’m proud to be queer”).

like

I think this is all generational. I never heard queer as a slur growing up, and I grew up in an environment that was LGBT hostile. I only recently learned that some people share your reaction to the word queer. I did hear gay and lesbian as slurs all the time. I also really dislike when people use gay as an umbrella, so I definitely prefer queer to that. I like LGBT but it feels weird to say “I’m lgbt” so it doesn’t work as well as a personal identifier. I totally respect the experiences you’ve had that have made you feel the way you do about the term, while at the same time think it’s unfair not to let people identify how they feel most comfortable. I have trouble saying I’m bi or lesbian because I’m figuring it out - queer is easier. For trans or questioning individuals, it can be uncomfortable to discuss specifics and so queer is a comfortable umbrella there as well.

like

I don't know when exactly, but it's a choice, and you don't have to use it if you don't want :)

@S&1, curious what queer means to you since it doesn't fit into other categories? Example?

I don't use the term either for the same reasons, and because I like LGBT as the term. It's generational though. Use what you like, try not to be offended when others use queer though because they aren't going to care that we're offended, unfortunately.

I feel like LGBT is more exclusive, and I find queer used in more socio-politically radical spaces, which I prefer. But to each their own ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Related Posts

I’m concerned about my mom’s health and want to work closer from home. Is this a valid reason for me to apply to a consulting job that is closer to home? I’m a recent college grad in the US and I’m the only child. My current firm’s office is ~2 hr from my (mom’s) home. I can’t live with and take care of her once the WFH is over. I saw that some of MBBs have offices pretty close to my home (~10 min). When applying to the positions, can I mention that I want to take care of my parent?

like

So, what if your kid is in a 6 person Montessori class with no interaction outside of their “pod”, serious disinfection and prevention practices and all the other parents are super socially conscious and aware. 2 teachers per classroom and no infections during summer school on campus. Yay or nay?

like

Any foster moms out there? I’m curious if companies provide parental leave to support new fostering relationships? Have your companies been supportive of the time commitment during work hours?

like

Hey mommas - My baby is 14 weeks old and I haven't gotten my period back yet. I'm worried I'm pregnant again. When did you get your period back? For context, I'm breastfeeding but not exclusively (I am pumping and nursing as much as I can though). I've been on the pill since 6 weeks and my husband used condoms for the first few weeks once we started again. Surprisingly, I can't find anything online that's helpful. Any sense of a timeframe would be tremendously anxiety-reducing!

like

If your own kids go to school in your district, do you struggle with the different hats that you wear? I’ve done well with the academic side of things (coworker/parent), but she is getting older and the dynamic is changing. I teach at a fairly large high school. She is now in sports and coach is a coworker. And now I have some of her friends and teammates in class. Friends/students coming over will get awkward. Don’t know what I am going to do when she starts dating…

like

What is your firm's parental leave policy?

likehelpful

$WFC to the moon!!! Been posting and posting about it. LFG baby!!! Up 35%

like

What is the federal parental leave policy? I’m new to government and having a baby soon. I know we’re given 12 weeks and have to sign an agreement to work 12 weeks after we return but are there other stipulations to a claw back period or how long we had to be at the agency first?

like

Any suggestions for a gift I can give my wife? We just finished the first trimester with our first baby - she’s wanted this for a long time and I want to give her something nice .. thanks!

like

First day back on the job after paternity leave. Never had a harder time leaving the house than this morning...

like

Just picked up Whiskey Bible's #1 rated whiskey for 2021 (and 2020 World Whisky of the year) - can't wait for the weekend to crack this baby open. Alberta Premium Rye Cask Strength.

Post Photo
like
like

This kid has a bright future in cyber! 😂

Post Photo
likefunny

Is it me or watching a pregnant woman squat way more stressful than any dam busy season

like

Just so much happiness and I need space to gush. My boyfriend is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He makes me feel safe and loved and is absolutely crazy about me. We see each other a couple of times a week and it’s always super fun and peaceful and the sex and emotional connection is perfect. I’m so lucky to have met him in nyc and he tells me he feels lucky too. We’re discussing our future and having 3 kids together and I can’t wait to call him my husband and father of our gorgeous children

likeupliftingfunnyhelpfulsmart

Anyone had surgery to remove fibroids through laparotomy (abdominal cut) and was able to successfully get pregnant with IVF after? Did you do egg retrieval prior to or after the surgery? I’m 33 and my eggs don’t get any younger. Doctor said earliest I could get pregnant is 6 months post-op. Would prefer to do a retrieval round prior to surgery in Nov, would this make sense at all? Thank you 🙏

like

What is the paternity / parental leave policy at your firm?

likesmarthelpful

Not nearly enough messages. Was a senior when I had a kid...so nice of KPMG to NOT tell me the way to properly submit for parental leave back in the day.

Any predictions for future travel requirements for AlixPartners post covid? I'm thinking of applying to AP but the rumors of intense travel have me hesitating now that I have 2nd child on the way.

like

Does being raised by a single parent considered an “adversity” in apps?

like

Additional Posts

Does anyone know of recruiting firms with a focus on Anti-money laundering? I’m foreign educated and newly admitted NY attorney with CAMS certification but living in Miami lol. I’m here, because my husband practices in SoFlo. Any recommendations? I don’t have any experience but have CAMS.

like

What is the typical length in time from starting the conversation to receiving an offer when transferring from one big 4 to another?

like

If you get some development points and a partially at level in your third year, are you screwed for promotion?

like

If you’re applying to another consulting job without a referral quit being selfish and help a brother (or sister) out. Help us, help you, to help us, getting a referral bonus

likefunny

For a strategy-esque (non-PM) career trajectory in FAANG/tech, what’s the comp trajectory look like? Can one ever reach MBB partner-like comp? MBB’s pay trajectory is too good to leave, but maybe I’m being naive

like

Hollywood is flush with unions: WGA, DGA, SAG, etc. Why don't we have any in advertising?

like

I’m concerned about my mom’s health and want to work closer from home. Is this a valid reason for me to apply to a consulting job that is closer to home? I’m a recent college grad in the US and I’m the only child. My current firm’s office is ~2 hr from my (mom’s) home. I can’t live with and take care of her once the WFH is over. I saw that some of MBBs have offices pretty close to my home (~10 min). When applying to the positions, can I mention that I want to take care of my parent?

like

Can you name drop clients in an interview (if asked)? Assuming they are public and obviously not divulging sensitive information

like

I interviewed with an ECD mid-last week and immediately after got some bad news that completely derailed the rest of my week. Because of that, I never even thought about sending a thank you email, but I’m now realizing that probably looks bad. Any tips on how to deal with this?

like

Who’s hiring for Jr AD’s? Or interns?

like

In case anyone’s near Queens College, I saw a post on Facebook that they have a pop-up vaccine site for J&J in the student union and are giving them until they run out. It was posted about two hours ago.

Post Photo
likehelpful

Hi fishes...I am really confused. Ericsson : 16Lpa (including variable pay 76k) Tech Mahindra : 19Lpa (including variable pay 1.85L) Which one to choose? YoE - 5years Location - Kolkata Java Developer

like

Best bang for your buck vacation -- looking for a decent beach immediately after busy season. Ideas??

like

Has anyone here interviewed for Accenture’s product analyst role? Have an interview coming up tm and would appreciate any last minute advice. I really don’t know what to expect but have been studying the cracking the pm interview book

like

Tips for enterprise software Machine Learning Product Manager interview? Any recommended reading/advice?

likefunnyhelpful

What time do you normally head back to the hotel at the end of the day?

like

Anyone had surgery to remove fibroids through laparotomy (abdominal cut) and was able to successfully get pregnant with IVF after? Did you do egg retrieval prior to or after the surgery? I’m 33 and my eggs don’t get any younger. Doctor said earliest I could get pregnant is 6 months post-op. Would prefer to do a retrieval round prior to surgery in Nov, would this make sense at all? Thank you 🙏

like
like

Good Marriott/SPG hotels in Ottawa and Montreal? Doing a family trip in Canada, thanks!

like

Currently at a competitor Big 4 - may get interview with Deloitte. Do they perform drug test screening prior to employment? Took a trip to Colorado recently...

likehelpfulfunny

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal