{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When did you know that you want to have a kid(s) and what helped you decide to go for it? Not a mom but want to ask people With first hand experience. My BF is sure he wants them and I did too until I did the research on cost of childcare, lifestyle changes, and most importatntly the impact on career (my BF says family stays with you but works don't. I love work for the sense of achievement). Now I am leaning toward childfree. I would really appreciate your thoughts and advice!", "post_id": "6101372aa53ba4002090feb1", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

When did you know that you want to have a kid(s) and what helped you decide to go for it? Not a mom but want to ask people With first hand experience. My BF is sure he wants them and I did too until I did the research on cost of childcare, lifestyle changes, and most importatntly the impact on career (my BF says family stays with you but works don't. I love work for the sense of achievement). Now I am leaning toward childfree. I would really appreciate your thoughts and advice!

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I always wanted kids so can’t really comment on that piece but re: work, which I also love, I am at the top of my game with a 3yo and trying for my second. Should make partner in 2 years. Having a kid helped me prioritize my time and my efforts better than I ever could have on my own. I have to get to daycare pickup by 6:00 so sorry team and clients, that means we all need to plan a little better. I more easily say no to low value BS work tasks now and can quickly spot issues and areas that do require my expertise and I lean into those. Maybe some of this is just natural with age but I’m here to say you can have both if you want them!

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I was scared to have kids and also scared of always feeling like I missed out if I didn't. I'm glad I did. I've found all the cliches to be disconcertingly true: new kind of love, blah blah blah. On the other hand, I have friends who had kids as a compromise with partners, and I'm not sure they would make that choice again if they had the power. It can be very difficult, especially the first couple of years, and if you are not really on board then it seems like it can just feel torturous. Also, be sure to discuss very specifically with your partner how involved they are going to be. There can be a lot of assumptions about a mom's role, even if they are working full time, and how much your partner is going to pull his weight makes a big difference in your wellbeing and ability to do well at your job.

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So much this!

My former company was super supportive of parents and it helped me take the leap. I also knew it was the next step with my hubby.

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Didn’t want child for a long time but now have a 16 months old. Deciding factor was 1) My team had a lot of new moms (senior - director level) and they all came back and managing their career fairly well - which made me think I can also do it; 2) my then fiancé was a great dad already so I knew he would be a great dad

But I do have to say, I do like my job but I’m not as ambitious as some people so if I decided to work a little less and that delays my progression a bit (I’m a manager now) I was ok with it.

More women regret not having kids than not… time is ticking! It’s ok money will come and you’ll figure it out. Can never buy back time as a woman. It’s another great life experience and you don’t want to grow old lonely

The baby stage isn’t forever. I’m not going to lie - the first 2 years are insanely hard (at least in my opinion). But after that it becomes much easier to juggle career and other things besides just being a mom. 2 years in the grand scheme of things isn’t long and flies by. That all being said, don’t feel pressure into having kids. It’s not for everyone and that’s ok!

When I thought about what I wanted with my life, that’s just what i saw - husband, kids, house. Maybe it helped that I didn’t feel like I was making a choice between that life and some other life. Although I like travel and other hobbies, it’s not like I really yearned for a life where I had the ultimate freedom to travel the world whenever I wanted. I’d just rather be at the park/playground/farm/carnival/pumpkin patch.

I struggled with the same. Ultimately decided to go for it and am due with my first shortly so tbd. Factors that swayed my decision were that most people have children and it’d be a fun progression with friends socially in the long run, and I have a close relationship with my mom so thought that’d be a fun bond to have with my own children. Don’t let BF affect your decision though, decide what’s best for you!

I didn't want to have kids, I thought it's a terrible dent on my financials and curb on my freedom and career. I chased career for eight years. Ended up with a health issue and looking ahead the career part suddenly felt less meaningful and it felt like choosing one doesn't mean letting go off the other. It felt like I have good control of my life. My husband and I also felt like we have roamed a lot and enjoyed time together and kid will give us a different purpose together now. I am pregnant, not yet a mother so.

I am divorced & the best thing out of my marriage of 20 years was my son. Couldn’t imagine life without him, and I feel like I hit milestones & responsibilities that have made me grow as a person. I have been a single parent for 6 years & had to start my career again from scratch. I got my masters & CPA while working full time at B4 while my son was in elementary school. all my mom friend tell me they don’t know how I did it.

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