When do you draw the line between a friendly colleague and a guy who is attracted? I have this colleague who says that he'd like to get to know me. He's been asking questions about my life outside work, and seems more keen to discuss these topics over work related topics. Like holidays, do I have kids.... Why do I feel uncomfortable? By the way, he's married 🤔

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

This is pretty normal. At the end of the day we’re all just people that have lives outside of work. It’s more fun to work with people you know. It’s kind of a way to build culture. Plus, you choose what you share. I keep it light and pretty high level when sharing, but some people definitely over share lol.

Overall, I don’t think it’s creepy, but if you’re uncomfortable, just say you’re not really comfortable talking about your personal life and prefer to set boundaries.

like

In the nicest way, his responses seem like a normal conversation? He seems like a coworker trying to get to know you. I find it interesting to know a bit about peoples personal lives. We spend so much time together with consulting, it’s nice to know what else you can talk about. Also, it lets you make easy conversation with him because you know about his life.

like

Lol that dude is trying to be your friend and make working together easier.

like

In what context did he say he’d like to get to know you more? Is he your manager or a team member that you will be working with for a long time? Does he act similarly to others?

I want to lean on the side of saying this is common - I’ve totally had managers want to get to know me more, ask these types of questions in 1:1s and team dinners, etc. Some of my closest friends are people at my company and in general our company culture is more of the “lets get drinks after work and all get to know each other” kind of vibe. With that said, if you feel uncomfortable then that’s what matters and you should maybe talk to others on your team or a staffer or adviser if you feel any line being crossed!

like

I am also going to be on the side of commenters agreeing that nothing about this situation seems untoward. I am married (cisgender she/her), and like to get to know the people I work with, both professionally and personally. The latter often gives me context for interpreting reactions to stress or other behaviors (and I am sure the same applies to colleagues I work with now and those with whom I have for years in many different professional incarnations).

A little intimacy is critical to empathy. Empathy is the magic that enables us to build trust-driven relationships that persist beyond what we might be working on in the present moment.

All these people gaslighting you that nothing is untoward. Trust your gut. Always. Stay away from him

No - If one’s gut instinct is firing (which OP says is the case) then they should always trust that.

Related Posts

We got a move-in 6th grader today. At the end of today (busses gone) I found out that this move-in has an IEP from TX. The students is certified is EI. We have to re evaluate- this will be an expedited eval as we have 21 days left.

Honestly, is this year ever going to end? These evals are killing me! 😣

like

Has anyone had a night nurse who can recommend a thank you gift when her time with us ends? She’s taken care of my baby for the first 3 months of his life during the work week (nights only). Some friends have suggested giving cash but I don’t know how much is appropriate…

I've been creeping for some time and I'm excited to officially join the club! Have had my eye on the 79220 or 79230 for awhile and the more research I did the more I fell in love with the rose and smiley face on the dial of the 79220. The expensive hobby begins...

Post Photo
like

Best high yield savings account ?

like

Sales leaders are hypocrites.

The same sale leaders that push their reps to find out why they were ghosted are the same leaders that ghost other salespeople.

like

Have any of you tried out the My Child Can Learn Curriculum with your kids? It used to be marketed as My Baby Can Read. If you did what did you all think of it? My English, Spanish, and French sets just came in the mail today and I’m excited to get started with it!

like

Where do recruiters look for freelance/contract account people?

like

Hi sharks , can I get help to finish analytics type of case studies . That will be very helpful

like

How is it like to live in Bangalore, compared to Pune?

like

https://r.ripplehire.com/s/bhTog
Apply on above link if you have more than 9 years of experience in working in Servicenow

like

I am a high school chemistry teacher. I am trying to increase cooperation between the high school and the elementary schools in my district. I have been given a chance to run a PD session at the beginning of next school year called "STEM k-12"
If you are an elementary teacher what would you want to hear about in that PD?
If you are a high school teacher then have you done collaboration with the elementary? What worked what didn't?

like

Even though we're busier than ever during COVID, I feel less burnt out than I usually do. There's something pure about our work and contribution in this crisis

like

Best advice when entering the world of SAP.

Looking to transition from industry to consulting for a few years. Is there anyone from Deloitte, KPMG, Accenture that could talk to me about the SAP practice?

like

Which other schools have delayed opening F2F until September? Do you think a lot will change in that time?

like

How much does a new manager 1 in FDD in Chicago make typically? Mid tier and big 4?

like

Hi Fishes,

I have joined
Nagarro as Node JS Developer. If possible please suggest tips for finding good Project here.

Thanks

likesmart

Is phillip lindsay gonna perform? Not feelin the hype here

Additional Posts in Women In Consulting

Harassed by a creepy guy at the hotel bar last night. Made casual conversations and then he wanted to go to my room with me. Tried to get away subtly and he would not leave. Ended up getting help from

like

How often are you ladies, living with their SO, having sex in the current situation? Pre COVID for me it was 3-4x a week but now he doesn’t seem to be into it. Spends his day working & nights gaming😭

like

Has anyone else had a really hard time online dating with Covid? I’m aware things are getting better but I prefer to do outdoor first dates to be on the safe side. No judgement to anyone that does differently. It’s just what I feel comfortable with. I’ve had a few guys tell me they won’t do outdoor dates for some reason… some have cited weather but others legit say no (in 70 weather) because it’s a hassle & “Covid is a joke.” Please tell me if this is normal.

like

Thoughts on dating on your own project? Fell in love but don’t know what to do.

Building a free to use networking platform for women - idea is to create subgroups within it such as consulting, finance, etc but also interest- based ones for eg running or mba apps or advice groups on how to deal w workplace related issues.

Want it to be a replacement for the infamous ‘boys club’ in male dominated industries. Would you guys be interested in something like this?

like

My friend who I have known for 10 years recently became really weird about paying me back for things and I’m not sure how to handle it. We went to a group dinner and everyone paid me back but her, I assumed she forgot and let it go. We went out to grab a drink yesterday, I had one glass of wine, she had 3 cocktails and then ordered a meal, when the bartender asked how we wanted to split the check she quickly said “you can just split it evenly”. I ended up paying $55 for my glass of wine (cont)

like

Is it generally unwise to switch companies within a year? I just relocated back to hometown and started a new job 6 months ago but I want to relocate again to Atlanta when my lease is up in 6 months. I don’t have much problem with my current role except wanting more money and to relocate. Unsure if it’s worth it to move and get more money or if it’ll be a bad look on my part. Any advice welcomed.

like

As summer is approaching, I’m unsure what kind of shoes to wear with dresses. I have a couple of cute shoes but they are not easy to walk around in. Any recommendations for shoes that go well with dresses but are also comfortable to walk around in?

like

Anyone in Montreal who wants to grab a coffee? 💗

like

The joys of being an adult - just refinanced w00t 🥰

likeupliftingfunny

Any self help books for women who don’t have good relationships (and possibly are depressed and jaded)? Maybe something for courage to lead a life without depending on others

like

I feel angry and bitter at everything when I am going through a tough time including snap at my family who are well meaning. How do you cope with a bad patch. How do you stay strong mentally when life is hard or unfair?

like

So...what did you non Indian ladies think of Indian Matchmaking on Netflix? 😀
Now you know why I’m single.

Post Photo
likefunny

Trying to get a 45 y/o sibling in to consulting (was an entrepreneur prior in the restaurant industry). No college degree but willing to bust his butt to learn. Books/online courses recommended pls

like

Has anyone gone to see a nutritionist? What was your experience like? Worth it?

like

When did you start going gray? I’m almost 31 and have found a few grays in the middle of my head. I have dark hair. Thinking of just letting it be as it will make me look older? I have a young face

like

Putting in my notice today and I’m so nervous. I know they’re going to try to convince me to stay, but leaving is the right thing for my career. Wish me luck!

likeuplifting

I feel so lost! I graduated college over a year ago and am in a job I hate, with people that don’t care, and no true direction on where I want to be next. I want to leave the company but don’t know...

like

Taking control of my sexual health this year but I’m quite nervous about getting an IUD. What if it’s uncomfortable or my partner feels it during sex? Please share your personal experiences with me, have they been overall positive? Does it shift depending on how rough/ lengthy your partner is?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal