{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When I first started dating my boyfriend about 11 months ago, I told him I didn’t want kids. He said he didn’t really want them either so I thought I’d lucked out and found another person who wanted to remain child free! Now he says he wants at least one kid but keeps putting off the conversation whenever I bring it up. I’m starting to become resentful toward him for wasting my time. I think I need to force the conversation. What’s the best way to go about doing that?", "post_id": "60c3998ad23926001c930c16", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

When I first started dating my boyfriend about 11 months ago, I told him I didn’t want kids. He said he didn’t really want them either so I thought I’d lucked out and found another person who wanted to remain child free! Now he says he wants at least one kid but keeps putting off the conversation whenever I bring it up. I’m starting to become resentful toward him for wasting my time. I think I need to force the conversation. What’s the best way to go about doing that?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Tell him that you have thought long and hard about it, and that you have made up your kind on kids. You need to emphasize that he needs to have a similar self reflection, and if he truly does want kids, that you should both split up and stop wasting eachothers time. It’s nothing personal, but you don’t need kids to be happy, and he clearly does.

like

Have serious talk about this and if he really thinks so, break up. I ended my 3 year relationship for this, literally the same situation

like

The conversation could end up w him and you still staying together. We both wanted a child at first, then my hub only did and w more civil talks (over a year?) we realized we were more important to each other than adding someone else that one of us wanted for a bit. That was 10 plus years ago and we don’t regret not having child at all.

like

Late 30s.

Absolutely talk about it. People change. We just do. He may very well have not wanted kids when he told you that but something, or many somethings, has now changed his mind. No point in being resentful. Hash it out and see where you end up.

like

Other than refusing to talk, is he the same w you? Does the same things w you (hobbies, dining, laughing, etc.) like always?

Did you ever resolve this situation, OP?

Yep, we broke up. It was amicable. There were other things that didn’t make this an ideal relationship, but the kids thing was the biggest and he understood that.

like

Related Posts

Gender Issue: someone in my family (Father 🙄) keeps iterating on the issue, that woman should never be allowed in to lead positions. Can't deal with it but have to start yelling at him. Anyone h

like

Restarting an old thread: what do you do and what does the “more successful cousin/auntie’s son/daughter/family friend’s kid” do?

likefunny

I found out I was pregnant & made a deliberate decision not to reveal this news at work as I had concerns that this might negatively impact my Perf Review (unconscious bias). I informed my People Lead & HR, & specifically requested that they not share this news either. I now find out my PL has shared this information. I confronted her indicating this was not her news to share but she deflected (kept saying it would not affect PA) & inferred I was over-reacting. What would you do in my shoes?

like

Have you been seeing any creativity lately around gender inequity, child abuse, LGBTQ, PETA, guns rights, or other cause related marketing? Why not? Because none of them are trending at the moment?

like

Hi Ladies! Does anyone have good recommendations for wireless headphones that aren’t Air Pods? Air Pods don’t fit or stay in my ears (I have small ears and often have to use child-sized). Thanks!

What does your company's parental leave policy look like (Primary / non-primary caregiver)? Trying to get a sense of what's competitive in the marketplace

like

When is it okay to ask about maternity leave when looking for a new job? When I receive the offer letter and benefits information?

like

Any other kid-free folks have trouble answering the often-asked question: do you have a family? In 2020, the euphemism of “family” as meaning kids seems outdated. (FYI: I have family but no kids.)

like

Recommendations for a divorce attorney in the Harrisburg or Philadelphia, PA area? Interested in collaborative process but also someone who can fight, if need be. No minor children or child custody issues, just splitting of assets but want to stay cordial, if possible, for adult children.

like

How do you deal with *over involved* parents, the kind that aren’t so much actually concerned about their child as they are with trying to control the classroom?

like

Does anyone here have a mentally disabled parent (schizophrenic) that they need to take care of? How do you handle?

like

How do you all feel about splitting vacations 50/50 in a relationship and dates 60/40? I might be old fashioned but this rubs me the wrong way. I feel like I have to work 2x as hard to be taken seriously at work as a woman and pay for all kinds of crap like hair appts, nails, makeup, outfits to be viewed positively by men. Not to mention, expensive birth control, periods, and eventually potentially having a child. 50/50 makes me feel like a friend and not that valued. Thoughts?

likefunnysmart

My hubby is going back to work next week but I’ll still be on maternity leave with my 4 week newborn. Does anyone have suggestions on how to split up our days into shift, especially at night? Right now he’s doing night time (midnight-6) with my expressed milk and I do mornings (6-noon) but that won’t work when he goes back to work since he can’t sleep 6-noon.

like

Going back to work after 4.5 months of maternity leave tomorrow. I’m utilizing PwC’s 60% phased return to work program so hopefully that will help ease the transition. Wish me luck! Any tips, tricks?

like

Rue got popped! Don’t mind the bubble wrap this baby has to travel 😍😍😍

Post Photo
like

Anyone who is pregnant but still doing intense travel case here?

like

ABCD trying to bag a fob girl. Help. Doesn't like to talk because her English isn't good. I just wanna say "baby girl don't worry keep speaking your language, I'll get it translated" 😏

Had 4 beers, 12 chicken wings, and a giant piece of cake. I'm going to sleep like a baby! And might have to go for an hour long tomorrow. But first things first, 💤

like

Pregnancy and PA: how doable is it? When do you have time for Dr appts? I am freaking out at the thought of being pregnant during a busy season... and planning the timing seems unrealistic.

like

This mother is so worried about not sitting next to her 20 year old son. He is remarkably okay with it.

like

Additional Posts

West Monroe: looking for some insight to the company in Chicago. Recruiting senior managers in healthcare and life sciences and wondering if it's a good landing spot. Have questions/thoughhts (Cont)

like

How is the work culture at Nokia @ Noida office in the IT space?

like

Has anyone ever asked for a market based salary adjustment at work? How did you go about doing it?

like

Exhausted with Deloitte’s culture. Joining PwC soon. Is the culture any different?

like

Has anyone made the switch from McKinsey to Bain? I'm considering it for personal reasons and would love to know if the culture difference is as pronounced as people say it is?

like

Fish Fam, please suggest a good standing desk under 500$

like

Why do people want to work for UMM/MF? I feel likes it’s a rat race follow the heard mentality with little long term upside (you get paid a bunch for two years but then what?). I’m really keen to go the MM but feel like I’m making a mistake the way my friends talk about it…. In my mind a small younger growing fund is such a better opportunity — more learning, exposure, promotional potentially, and, hopefully, culture. What am I missing?

like

This isn't a meme but I saw it this morning on my uber ride to my client in Ireland. Funny stuff

Post Photo
likefunny

How long of being on the bench before I should get worried?

like

Based in DC, United or American? DCA seems to lean American which is nice for proximity, but it’s smaller. Sub question: which lounge memberships is better? I have the option to expense one of them.

like

Has anyone done the take home assignment for Uber Strategy role? Any insights?

like

Currently in the US but interviewing for a UK-based firm and role. The comp level they are throwing around is £250k TC. Is this reasonable for a Director-level role with 12 YOE? My comparator would be wait 18-24mo to become a consulting partner - in the US that starts at $450k/£325k. For the purposes of this question, assume I’m optimizing for initial comp, not long term potential, and not livability, Intl experience, WLB, CoL etc. Thanks!

like

Should I max out my 401k first or max to employer match and then throw the rest in market myself? I see it as why wouldn’t I hit 19.5 as I beat the taxes one time

like

What kind of work does Alvarez and Marshal healthcare / Pharma practice do? Where and what kind of roles do people exit to? Recruiter reached out!

like

Always running to the gate; never learn my lesson.

likefunny

After 28 years of life and multiple degrees I've decided that the most valuable lesson I have learned is... righty tighty lefty loosey.

like

Anyone out there combining finances (at least for shared expenses like rent, groceries, vet bills, etc) after marriage? Trying to find the best way to do this when my credit card bill will contain both shared and individual expenses. Also please share if anyone knows what the best offers are at the moment for opening a checking account! I know some places have been offering $200 or $300 to open an account with them. Thanks all!

like

I have experience in Java Support for 5 YOE. I am not having expertise in Java development but understand the language. Recently i was able to clear an interview at CGI for the role of Java Developer. I am feeling less confidence if I will be able to survive. Should i take this chance or will I get fired if am not so expert? Please advise.

like

Is anyone pursuing an MBA/MPA? If so, what are you hoping to do on the other side?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal