When is it ok to change roles because of a difficult leader/manager? I understand we all encounter difficult leaders at some point in our career, but positive self-talk and resilience can only take me so far. I was offered an opportunity to progress my career under his wing but from the moment I started, his leadership style has been damaging to my emotional and mental (and physical) health. Do I shape up? Or is it ok to ship out? I feel like I’m letting myself be defeated if I go.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Just remember at the end of day it’s always mental health >>> everything else. Salary/title don’t mean anything if you don’t really like where you are at. I know many of the big 4 leaders (many not all) likes to dangle around the idea of promotion or firm recognization to employees under them to keep them grinding 24/7. Don’t let yourself fall for those traps, see the signs and abort as soon as possible so you don’t end up wasting years under them. All that being said, I would still have give a little benefit of the doubt to your leader. Maybe he criticizes so much because he knows what the client likes and he just doesn’t want the work to come back around, or maybe he is being pushed from higher level. These are just few factors to keep in mind before throwing in the flag. And I wouldn’t consider that as a “being defeated” you are literally just looking after yourself.

like

It’s really just his innate personality. He has many good leadership characteristics, but the negative outweighs the positive in a detrimental way. I’m not the only one to observe this but others who work with him have a thicker skin and can just let it roll off their shoulders.

It’s always ok to choose yourself

like

That happened to me in April. Being micro managed caused so much anxiety (especially bad during pandemic) that I finally had to put my mental health ahead of everything else. It was hard to do and the timing on the account couldn't have been worse. HR stepped in and managed the whole process. Your health has to be a priority.

like

Good for you!

He provokes so much anxiety that I feel a sense of doom or like darts are being shot at me whenever I get an email/message from him. I’m always waiting for criticism or a question on why I wasn’t able to do something adequately to meet his expectations.

I would have done everything I could to switch a long time ago.

Learning when you need to either quit or stop and change direction requires true character. Most people just sit there and take the abuse, if you want to grow you need to pivot asap.

Sometimes I feel like I should just take the bullets because other people have (and do), so it would be a sign of weakness to not grow from it and learn how to deal with it. How do you get over this type of feeling?

Related Posts

What are the best paying exits in Strategy roles for MBB EMs/PLs/Managers in Dallas?

like

Management Consulting at Big 4 or Equity Research at a BB. Which would you take?

funny

Any advice for student looking to get into Fixed Income? Currently secured internship offers to work for PGIM Client Advisory and PWC FDD, looking to get into credit analysis, want to make my resume more competitive and not sure how

like

I am a new grad in Canada with 0-1 yrs of experience. I am planning to build a career in project management and currently have an offer for a program coordinator position. Should I take it? How much salary should I expect in the industry as a beginner?

like

What are good consulting exit opportunities in India within Pharma post consulting? - for a person with 13 years of overall experience of which 8 years is in management consulting. Saw a lot of marketing roles at pharma companies and was wondering if these are good. Expectation is to have a better work life balance but also a bit challenging role.

like

Anyone rise to Partner despite major set backs earlier on their career (e.g., fired, laid off, mental illness, physical health problems)? Would like stories as a reminder that you guys are human.

like

Is anyone at a job they really, truly enjoy that also pays competitively (and has good benefits)? In my experience, I haven’t found anything that satisfies both. Either I love the job and I’m grossly underpaid or the job is totally mediocre but the money is great. Is it really possible to have it all or do I need to lower my standards? Maybe it’s just the way this industry is?

like

If the ultimate goal is to move in pharma/biotech (bd / strategy type role), does prestige of consulting firm matter? Or would it be better to work for less known firm that may have more client facing opportunities?

like

What are the best healthcare companies to try to get in at? I live in Atlanta but I’m also open to remote. I have a health science degree and currently work at a smaller healthcare company on the corporate side in the revenue cycle. I’m open to any options I am just looking to get out of the company I’m at now because there isn’t much room for growth. Thanks in advance for any advice!

like

Can someone please explain health care plans and choosing the right one to me like I am a five year old? I’m joining a new company and they have Cigna, I am a pretty healthy woman with no pre-existing conditions or anticipate any major health change. TIA

like

For those who dont have a finance background, what is necessary to transition into a corporate finance or financial consultant role?

Was thinking maybe MBA, but unsure if that's the most cost effective route.

like

I firmly believe leadership makes the difference.

Not only, it highlins each one's value, but especially spreads this value among others.
I'm speaking about life, in a broad sense, which also include work life, but it is not limited to that.

Looking for any kind of suggestion to improve my leadership: books, experiences, attitudes, daily-routine, ...

Thank you!

like

Hello All,

Hope you are doing well.
I require your suggestions on the below.

Currently, I'm an ETL Developer having skills in DataStage tool, Autosys Schedule tool, Unix, Linux, Oracle & Teradata SQL, shell scripting, C++, Data Structures with 3 YOE, and now I'm planning to switch to a Data Engineer role within next 2 months but I'm confused about how to start and which courses should I be taking up.

Help is highly appreciated, looking forward to your response and if any openings.

like

I'm thinking about starting something, but I want to be well versed in entrepreneurship before I do. Any recommended resources (websites, podcasts, books, etc.)? Thanks!

like

Hello,
I would like to know about
Siemens Balewadi, Pune (Smart Buildings / Infra account)
How is the work culture, wlb, what are some Pros and Cons?

like

What's the industry's view on the CISM cert? I know the CISSP is like the gold standard but what about the CISM? Lots of higher level roles require one or the either so it seems like there is value?

likehelpful

I'm planning to do my PGDM in Canada
Which College/Universities should I consider to get recruited into top consulting firms (Also the preferred courses) ?

like

Between Vodafone _Vois , Xoriant and Deutsche Bank. Which organisation is best in terms of Work life balance, ease of work from home and friendly policies.

Yoe 6 yrs Tech Stack - BigData

like

Hello, Any SAP consultant here
Could you please help me know about work culture and wlb at JP Morgan?

like

More Posts

Why is putting on your 2 weeks notice so nerve racking? But better opportunities are ahead and the start of my own bookkeeping firm!

like

How strong is the CSR professional community in Houston?

Hello Everyone,

I recently got interviewed for the Business acumen team(PWC AC Kolkata) and done with all 3 rounds. My interview went well but they haven't got back to me since last 3-4 weeks. HR told me that they are yet to get a feedback and suggesting to wait. Anyone else facing the same?

like

Thoughts on membership clubs in DC? (I.e. george town, university, etc) A colleague mentioned the other day that he’s a part of a club and am now intrigued (not that I can get in). Recently moved back to the DMV and think I just miss socializing with like minded people/sense of community 🥲

like

Hi fellow teachers!
Another great resource for trauma informed teaching is Dr. Nadine Burk- Harris’ documentary Resilience. She also has a shorter Ted talk summarizing her main points. She is amazing

likehelpful

How is the work culture in ADP?

like

Anyone brought closing from cider? Yay or Nay?

like

Saying bye to chitown

Post Photo
like

In Nov. I signed a 2yr contract to be a Data Entry Specialist once I started in April they changed the job title to Date Analyst. The salary is based on job title and average for it in my state. How do I go about bringing this up and a salary change to match?

like

Are the CISI qualifications worth it?

like

Does Capgemini have any blockchain projects? If yes, can we internally apply to those?

like

Larsen & Toubro Infotech Hello Friends,

Is the Notice period in LTI negotiable?
If yes, kindly share details.

Thanks :) Larsen & Toubro Infotech

like

Hi, I graduated with a bachelor in Healthcare Management and I currently work for McKesson Canada as a team lead for patient services. I am thinking about doing a masters degree in either Healthcare Management or Public Health. Which one should I go for? MHM/MHA or MPH?

like

I'll complete one year including 3 month notice period at IBM. Should I return my joining bonus in that case?

like

I am starting at Accenture next week! I just ordered my welcome kit from an email invite. Anyone know what’s in it?

like

Thinking of starting my own law firm. Has anyone on here gone solo? how did you go about floating your paycheck up front. I was thinking family law while taking on PI?

like

I have joined pwc sdc in oct ? Will i be eligible for year end increments?

likefunny

I’m in a rather peculiar situation. I have been in the HR field going on 4 years, I have over 11 years of management experience, I got my PHR last year and I recently graduated with my MBA with a concentration in HR this month. I am ready for a more challenging role. However, there doesn’t seem to be much available at my current company. However, I am going on 5 months pregnant with the expectation of being out in October. I feel like once I mentioned my pregnancy I was in a holding pattern.

like

LETS GO ATLANTA BRAVES!!!

likeuplifting

Additional Posts in Depression/Anxiety Talk

I think I have ED. Not sure how to go about it.

I find myself crying in therapy every week. That can’t be normal / ok. I don’t want to cry every week but I do find it helpful to talk through things.

like

Have you ever over promised but underdelivered to a client?

Performance reviews are coming up and I over promised on improving/ automating a process for a client. I suffer from anxiety and this is my first engagement going on my 3rd full week with the client. The directors and partners managing the relationship with the client are meeting with the client to discuss my performance for our yearly performance review.

like

Having trouble coping with betrayal and heartbreak from first relationship as a gay man. Ex lives in a city (town) that I’m staffed in long term (another 6 months). Flying in every week is so hard...

Cut my yoga session short today because I was feeling extra sad and overwhelmed. That sucks. Oh oh.

like

Getting to the point where some days I completely shut down. Cry in the bathroom at work. Can’t do anything. Next day I can manage it all pretty well. Im under a tremendous amount of pressure (working 2+ roles) with no leadership and minimal help. I’m really good at hiding/covering up my emotions so I’m sure no one knows. I just can’t imagine going through this cycle much longer. Not emotionally stable enough to even think about interviewing.

like

I’m really good at the work I do, but really bad at selling myself and always look like I do less than those who talk better even when I put in more hours. It sucks

like

Anyone help one of their parents go / initiate the separation and divorce process? VA is super sticky requiring a 6 months separation… but I’m just lost on what to do. Mother is being extremely difficult

like

I think I’ll call my doctor for antidepressants tomorrow…

likefunny

How do you deal with irrational anxiety whenever your boss is saying “hey let’s schedule 1:1, I’ve got a few things to discuss”? I’ve never had a bad performance rating before, quite the opposite I have received positive feedback. I also know 99% of the time this meeting is harmless and my anxiety has been proven wrong many times. But I’m still always on edge whenever this kind of meeting is scheduled. 😩

Also, yes I do go to therapy and have discussed this issue, but it hasn’t helped

like

Need advice. My roommate has anxiety/depression and has been experimenting with drugs like ketamine. He’s always been super chill but freaked out on me violently last week over something small and made me feel super unsafe (I think he was on drugs). Found a new place to move to but idk how to tell him because idk how to react. I want to tell him the day I’m leaving when the movers come but I feel like that might trigger him too. Thoughts? I’d be ending our joint lease, I can afford it, he cant.

likehelpful

What do you think is the percentage of people in our industry that are taking some kind of daily drug / antidepressant to keep them level?

like

Anyone deal with PTSD? How do you manage an acute flare up of symptoms? Any good drug based treatments that have worked?

like

How do you make someone love you? I just want to be loved.

like

Dear God please give me the strength

likeuplifting

Has anyone taken a leave of absence for mental health/suicide/depression? I’m getting there but I’m also the primary earner in my house.

like

Did being on antidepressants affect your sex life?

like

CBD oil for anxiety? Any recommendations or tips? 🙏🏻

I need to take a LOA and I’m on “this is a very important opportunity for us” type project. At a smaller firm < 2,000 employees. I’m afraid to ask and I don’t know what to do. Looking for any advice.

Adult ADHD anyone? Do you take medication? How are you feeling after that?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal