When should I start being concerned about my Gf not working? We’ve been dating for 8 months and she was let go from her job for not relocating. She hated the job anyways and was looking but it’s been almost 3 months and has made very little effort. She blames it on not knowing what to do since she hates what she does but it’s been so long and she’s about to be 27. I feel like she needs to at least get a job. She moved back home with parents and I have my own spot. I’m starting to get irritated..

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Not sure why ur irritated? Do u pay anything related to her life costs?

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Jelly lol.

funny

Say something like “I’d like to discuss something with you that’s on my mind. It’s really none of my business but it’s bothering me. Would it upset you if I shared it with you?”
Then you’ll have her permission to say something that’s really her business.

I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to invest more time with someone that doesn’t really seem to have a tenacity that matches yours.

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CT1, do you have a significant other?

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Do you feel it says something about her character? Sounds like it is somewhat of a trigger for you.

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Your just dating. It seems like you have done all you can do and if she does not want to talk about it and avoid the issue then you need to decide if that’s a deal breaker or not and move on. One of the key things in any relationship is to have difficult conversations. If you can’t both talk about this together then what happens if say other issues could not be discussed? I get that people go through periods of difficulty, but you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. As a side note I am a woman. And like you said if the roles were reversed I would be frustrated as well. And before people start attacking me for being heartless I think dating is when you figure out if you are compatible with someone but also realize what you are ok and not ok with. It’s ok not to be ok with this. It’s the perfect place to figure out how people handle difficult scenarios and if they have the have the ability to adapt and overcome. You can decide if you want to continue what you are doing and see the outcome but are you willing to wait 6 mo. While she finds herself or do you want to find someone who already knows who they are? Just thoughts to consider. I’m not trying to beat up on your girlfriend, but try to take a step back and really consider what you want and if you see that with this woman. But be prepared for either outcome. You could move on and find someone you are more compatible with and you could also move on, she makes things work and doesn’t want to be with you since you weren’t there for her. 🤷🏻‍♀️ loads of possibilities.

smart

In my view that shows lack of ambition. Do you want to be with someone who has 0 ambition?

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…that she’s showing no real effort. She currently is in the 3rd round of a job which I plugged her with but other than that, nothing. We r almost always together and she always stays at my place. Sleeps in late and kinda just chills. Never does like small things like help to clean or anything. She is smart and used to work at a huge company doing real work. Should I say anything? Do I even have the right?

Associate 1, can you elaborate? Are you saying I am entitled?

You shouldn’t be concerned, but if it bothers you have a conversation and get it out of the way. After getting her perspective take a call.

Ambitious is a very personal preference. Not all couples handles it the same way.

I relate big time. I’m deep into a marriage where SO doesn’t work and it’s destroying us. You have to do something, just not sure what that is for your situation. Do not take this lightly OP.

If someone isn't truly burnt out and has no motivation to get up and do things and even work on finding a job, this is an aspect of their character. You're not going to be able to change that. Their ambition level isn't a match with yours. Your next question is can you live with this? If not (and that's what it seems like) then your relationship has an expiration date and you should look to the exit.

Keep in mind you've only been dating 8 months

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