{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "When you and your partner decided to start trying for kids did you freak out and back out of it at first? I’ve just come off birth control but I’m now feeling like I’m not ready and want to wait a few more months at least. Also looking for a new job so want to at least wait until that’s secured so I wouldn’t have to worry about benefits kicking in. But also I’m just so afraid of how my life will change and if I’m actually ready or just wanting to make him happy.", "post_id": "61156cef1128600023a38d26", "reply_count": 7, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }

When you and your partner decided to start trying for kids did you freak out and back out of it at first? I’ve just come off birth control but I’m now feeling like I’m not ready and want to wait a few more months at least. Also looking for a new job so want to at least wait until that’s secured so I wouldn’t have to worry about benefits kicking in. But also I’m just so afraid of how my life will change and if I’m actually ready or just wanting to make him happy.

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I think this is a very, very normal way to feel. My husband and I agreed to start trying last summer and I was legitimately terrified to have sex for like a month. I was so scared of how our lives would change. (I think he was too!) I thought about how I wanted to wait for my next promotion or until we bought a house… but at 32, I decided to press on. 3 months into trying the pregnancy test came back positive and I was TERRIFIED. I immediately thought “omg what did we do?!” Even though kids are something I’ve always been 90% sure I wanted.

Fast forward — I was due last week and am now 41w pregnant. Somewhere around the second trimester, it hit me that we were going to be parents and this was *happening*. We bought our house, my promotion showed up, and we could not be more thrilled for our daughter, who will hopefully be joining us any day.

I can’t guarantee you you’re going to feel the same way. What I can say is that I’m glad I let life slide into place around this one big piece and that I trusted myself that I would be ready for the change. I don’t think you’re ever 100% ready for this. Once you’re at 80-90%, I think it’s fair to start trying. These things can take time. Still, to each her own, and you shouldn’t feel rushed! 💗

likehelpful

PM1, I am so terrified for labor and delivery and the entire “birth” part that I know is imminent, and I just want you to know that this really made me smile and reminded me about all of the awesome stuff that will be on the other side of that!! Thank you 🥰

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100000% and I questioned it for the entire 9 months! But wow I have never been happier with the whole first year. I hope to be lucky enough to have a second baby

likeuplifting

I was right there too. Met my soul mate at 23. Married at 26. He was always ready for kids, but I was never convinced they were worth it. I wanted to accomplish a few things first career and bucket list wise. We agreed to wait. The day I finished my list of 5 Must Haves, I got off the pill as agreed. Took 2+ years to get pregnant & 1 miscarriage before we had a healthy baby at 33. It's not always instant no matter how healthy you are.
You might also resent him for choosing this when you are in the thick of pregnancy nausea, or scared to interview when pregnant, or other things you could have done if you weren't, from drinking wine, eating brie, or going hiking. I sure as hell did.
Now I'm both glad I got close to where I want to be, finished my Europe trip and other bucket list items, feel settled enough financially and career wise to not stress. But after seeing this darling baby, part of me wishes I'd started early so I could have 3 kids. Babies are adorable as hell.
Will your life totally and absolutely change? Yes. But will it still be wonderful? Yes.
Whether it's red velvet cake or a filet minion, it's different but still delicious.

uplifting

And it’s not that I don’t want a baby, because I really do, I’m just scared it’s not the right time. I’m still financially building for one and looking to switch careers so that may mean a paycut if I want to start in a new space. 28, FWIW.

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Yep! He was literally about to jizz inside of me and I got nervous and told him not to 🙈 but you get over the fear and anxiety :) we’re now 5 months along with our baby girl. This is our third pregnancy so fingers crossed everything works out this time!

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