When you’ve swiped on all the American boys on muzmatch... 😂😭

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

This world is wierd and our parents too. It seems like your happiness does not count and only what others think matters. Sunni Muslim here and I like a Shia muslim, parents are totally against this. I mean commmmooooooon. 😏

funny

@OP - to clarify. The girls are bad at both. They struggle to get the conversation going. And they do not know how to flirt / make the conversation witty or fun.

It can be like an interrogation or interview with the onslaught of questions.

Dating is supposed to be fun. Having to list your resume or bio-data is not fun, haha

like
Recent IconRecent

This is hilarious because I've swiped through all the Muslim girls with my filter on. Additionally, I feel like most of them are TERRIBLE at conversing and just flirting in general.

The same issues that bother you (e.g. "my friends/family made me do this", "just ask", "princess") are major turnoffs.

I guess my point is that from my POV most girls are just as bad at this as guys are from your POV.

The term "Muslim dating" itself is a paradox, and I've had similar thoughts of starting a blog or podcast that helps young Muslims with this stuff.

like

Maybe try something exotic 😎

likefunny

Maybe the question to ask is what are you looking for OP. Cos I am sure not all the American boys are that unqualified. 😀

likefunny

Haha D1, I’m glad this helped! I’ve been thinking about creating a thread for “Online Muslim Dating Tips” because I feel like a lot of people just don’t know. On the note of improving your profile, also include a picture of you smiling close-up and a full body.

I think generally speaking girls expect guys to initiate just because of gender norms (which is stupid because like anything in our lives, you’re not going to get it by waiting on the sidelines. We’re active with everything else in our lives, why not with this? Just another aspect of our life). However, I don’t think that’s a hard set rule nor should it be. If you’ve been dating a bit or have friends who have (esp in non Muslim dating scene), they’ll tell you that it’s fair game for whoever to initiate and if you’re finding he’s not, then you should if you’re interested in getting to know him. Also there are so many dating articles out there - ya gotta filter through some of the BS, but there is some pretty solid advice on the Internet. With online dating, people generally match and don’t talk (annoying tbh) so no one initiates lol. I usually will initiate because it helps me filter and unmatch anyone who’s not serious and also what’s the point of wasting my time to match and then not talk. You very much have to drive your own experience on the app - it can be as passive or active as you make it.

I will say that I find that most of the serious guys are the ones who initiate, they’re also the guys that are more into you than others, and they’re the guys who usually know how to keep a conversation going - all things that are usually turn-ons. On that note, proactiveness in guys generally is a turn-on. If you’re putting effort into finding the first date place and calling to make a reservation and following up, all points stacked for you not against. #themoreyouknow

like

OP- You should definitely go ahead with your goal of creating an online Muslim relationship thread. I won’t call it dating because we want to make things halal but I think the topic of Muslim male and female communication and interaction before marriage is not discussed enough in the Muslim community .

like

Maybe the conversation can start from here then. And this is open forum for male and female. What are some of the things that a match have done that have helped in getting to know them and some of the turnoffs that can be avoided? I know OP listed some turnoffs for female.
A major turnoff for me is a one word response 😂. If I spend my time crafting an initial message, I expect a well thought out response.

like

Not this American 🐟!
(not on muzmatch 😂)

funny

My favorite is Sam

like

C1- get on and give me one more option 😏

funny

D1- I hear you, but I actually do know what I’m looking for (making the search more targeted/focused/nuanced and I don’t just get to know anyone for the sake of it). Part of it is that only about 25-40% pass my initial filter and then they also need to find me interesting and match with me, from those I match with only about 20% actually have an initial convo, 10% know how to keep a convo going and then you realize that there’s some sort of value misalignment and end it. Of the 1-2 that have aligned, you are 50% likely to get ghosted. Idk about the other 50%, I’ve only gotten to the half that’s ghosted me 😂

like

OP - depends on what you like - hot, spicy or sweet..lol ;-)

like

D1- swiping is an art and a science, but mostly an art. Know your criteria and know how to change your methodology between apps since they all have different vibes and interfaces but your criteria is the same. Generally speaking, I’m looking for a long-term relationship with someone who values religion and social justice, career-oriented and ambitious, mature and just general vibes.

The first filters are more logistical and what you put on the app - filter for religious sect, ethnicity, age range, and location. Then comes the swiping to the criteria I set above.

So when I go on muzmatch, I scan the initial profile (see attached) while swiping thru pics. If that section looks aligned, then I open the bio and read the details. I get a feeling about the kind of person this is and I make a decision - left or right Things that make me swipe left - guy is shorter than me, not my type physically or his pics are weird/not clear/I can’t actually see his face, not religious or not as religious (eg sometimes or never prays, smokes, drinks), in a job that’s more blue vs white collar, not looking for something long term (eg marriage within 3-4 years vs 1-2), lives in Idaho or some other place I know I couldn’t thrive in, and/or his bio states something about him that’s a dealbreaker (eg alllivesmatter guys or ones that want to live at home or bios that say nothing except “ask me” - that tells me you put zero effort so why should I put effort into getting to know you - or guys that write “my family/friends forced me to do this” ok?? You’re a big boy, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. This shouldn’t be embarrassing, if you feel embarrassed, don’t say it or try and hide your decision behind your family/friends. Own your actions).

It’s a holistic process and before swiping, it’s important that your own profile is up to date, informative, and a good view into the kind of person you are too (can’t expect something you don’t give)

Post Photo
like

Great response. I definitely got some helpful tips to improve my profile from your response 😂.

like

Also, this could be a cultural thing, for females, do you wait for guys to initiate conversation?

like

Lol D2... I feel like I understand where your family is coming from. The idea is that the more commonalities between spouses, the better the marriage will work (that’s why people look to marry someone from the same tribe in the same city! Lol). The concept is that your people want what’s best for you. I don’t believe that. I think marriage exists on mutual understanding/outlook and communication. If you feel like you have that with this Shia chick, then why not... but you also have to be willing to stand up for her in front of your parents and convince them to accept her and convince them that the sect difference is not important to you and you’re going to make it work

like

Lol I meant thread on fishbowl not irl. Admittedly tho I didn’t really think about doing it irl except for the occasional friend that asks for advice

Haha A2, glad to see I’m not alone in this. (Aside - I HATE... DESPISE using the term prince/princess/king queen in this context. Despise. “Looking for my Cinderella. I’ve got her shoe” “looking for the queen to my king” “where minderalla at” noooo stfu)

Also, didn’t catch your sentence clearly - was it that most girls are terrible at flirting or all they do is flirt?

funny

Also we can agree to disagree on terminology but for me dating is the period right before you’re both like hmm, I’m convinced of this person and I’m seeing this get serious, let’s tell our parents

like

I hear you A2. Although cut the girls some slack :) if you haven’t done this before and you’re trying to figure it out on your own, it can def be uncomfortable and hard to manage (esp the flirting! and esp if you’ve never been with a guy before). Guys that do hold convos usually go from 0 to 100 without any foundational questions. For me, asking questions is a way to understand and filter. Don’t want to be spending all this time on someone if fundamentally, we’re not on the same page. As for holding a convo vs interview, I try to comment on previous answers as a way to make it seem more conversational. But also a lot of conversations is about asking questions, just gotta strike the balance and steer it where you think it should go. And yes, it is supposed to be fun with serious intent, which I don’t think a lot of people realize (goes back to misinformation within the community)

like

Related Posts

Egg freezing- one cycle or pay upfront for two? There’s a small discount and they will refund the difference if I decide not to proceed with the second. Numbers look good but you never know, and quality is never guaranteed... thoughts? I don’t want to psych myself out ...

like

Salary for GM at AM/PM stores

What is the best resource to learn springboot from scratch in depth.
(Other than the amigoscode 2hr video) thanks in advance.

like

Fishbowl isn't letting me post a link. weird. Google "Playing with Fire Documentary trailer." It's about the FIRE movement. Looks good.

like

if someone threatened my life and asked me what product managers do... tell my family i love them

likefunny

Three days in and Russia has yet to establish air superiority or take a single population center. This has to be so embarrassing for Putin. Assuming he is the madman we believe him to be, how much longer will this embarrassment go on before he drops a tactical nuke on Kyiv? Sounds insane, right? But if he did, what would anyone do about it? Ukraine isn’t a part of NATO, and we certainly aren’t going to initiate MAD over it. We have no sanctions left to trigger. What’s to stop him? Cont’d..

like

How much do you charge your nightly rate when you sleep with your CD’s wife? Round up to 30 min’s or bill 69 just for fun.

likefunny

Any insights about Bain’s commercial excellence team? Heard hiring is in full swing? Anyone willing to chat? Bain & Company

like

Can anyone refer me .I have 2 yrs of experiemce .Skills- java,sql,sprimg boot,testing

like

Hello 👋🏾I'm a matchmaker and I have a few clients I'm trying to match:
- 49M, real estate developer, divorced - 1 child, LA (fitness is high on his list). - 37F, marketing manager, LA
Please note that everyone I work with is a Black Professional who is over 28, educated with at least a Bachelors degree, and earns over $75k. Feel free to DM me on IG @tenneshawood

like

Where do we find base location mentioned in TCS offer letter? I did not find any location mentioned. Is it normal?

like

what would be salary range for a s1 in core tax transferring to hcol m&a tax?

like

About to turn 30 and I really can't see my self doing IT audit for much longer. What are my exit ops?? M2 6yoe, sec+ and CISA.

#yallhiring

likefunny

Now a days, most of the HRs are not releasing offer letters in notice period, although we are submitting documents. Am I the one or anyone else also facing same ?

like

At the beach this morning...

Post Photo
like

What do you think of the current job market in Germany? Do you think it has taken a hit because of the inflation? How do you think a company plans towards recruiting in the current situation?

like

Yes ,only you can solve my problem.

Please provide referrals for QA

TIA :)

like

It’s a good start....

Post Photo
likefunny

Recently got laid off 😭 I’m trying to aim for a health tech ir pharma corporate role but my background is wonky. 3 yrs exp in scientific/pharma recruiting and 6 months of tech recruiting. Any referral and help is greatly appreciated 😫

like

Additional Posts in Muslim Consultants

Salam friends..I am planning on sponsoring my parents to come to US. They are both above 55 and have some medical conditions. Anyone recently bring their parents as green card holders and what type of insurance and care did you get? I make ok money but adding two adults will def be challenging. Just want to get your ideas. Thank you and have a wonderful week ahead!

like

How much emphasis do y’all place on race/ethnicity when pursuing someone? Like is there ever a time when you think “wow this person is cool but I wish they were from X country”?

I ask bc I’m in a large friend group with people from one specific culture and I’m the different one. I can’t help but feel “left out” when I keep hearing about people in this group coupling up, or hanging out for the purpose of finding a spouse and never being considered… it’s starting to eat at my confidence lol

like

Time for an ASL and favourite hobby!

funnylikesmart

Is it permissible to work at a VC firm? From what I understand it should be because both parties are taking risks.

likefunny

How seriously do you all take evil eye / Nazr?

likesmart

Just relocated to Dubai and don’t know anybody. Can anyone provide some help with introductions, groups to join? (29/M)

Anyone out here Dallas/Ft worth area, here till next Thursday through the weekend. lmk if anyone want to link up and grab some food.

Forgiveness - Today’s Beautiful Hadith is about Forgiveness
Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr (RA) said on the minbar, "Make allowances for people and command what is right and turn away from the ignorant." (7:199) He said, "By Allah, we are only commanded by this ayat to accept people's character. By Allah, I will accept people's character as long as I am with them."

(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 244, Book 12, Hadith 7)

like

Salam, I found this on linked in, thought I shared with you all.

Post Photo
like

How do you handle coffee / caffeine withdrawals during the Ramadan?

like

Men wearing swim shorts? Also never considered Muslim women in water sports/activities. Thoughts comments as to how you go about it?

like

Any recommendations on wedding venues or caterers in jersey? New to the city and don’t really know a lot of people. Looking for medium budget recommendations. Thank you in advance

like

Anyone know how the Muslim community is in Denver? Are they pretty active? And what ethnicities would you find there?

like

Salam! 2 questions below:

1) As someone trying to get fast tracked for promotion IA, should I push to get on a project during Ramadan OR spend my time on firm building in Ramadan and try to get staffed afterwards? Would prefer the second option so long as it doesn’t impact promotion.

2) if the reco is to max utilization and be staffed during Ramadan, any advice for balancing fasting + long working hours?

likesmart

Something to brighten your day 🤗
I needed to hear this today 🥹🤲🏻

Post Photo
likeuplifting

What are you favorite restaurants in Chicago?

But rather banished in some random ass obscure remote place 😢

Jummah Mubarak Fam 💚☪️

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app