{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Whenever a man that im dating tells me that he wants to go into business/build his business/run a business, its a turn off for me. No he doesn't want me to do anything for it, but i just find it hard to repect businessmen. Even if its more money/stable business. Maybe its because ive always seen very rigid, no breaks types, cunning men in business and ive associated it with that. Is that just me? Do you all feel comfortable with job or business or just doesn't matter? Any insights helpful!", "post_id": "6006406358f04c0020c7cb51", "reply_count": 36, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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Whenever a man that im dating tells me that he wants to go into business/build his business/run a business, its a turn off for me. No he doesn't want me to do anything for it, but i just find it hard to repect businessmen. Even if its more money/stable business. Maybe its because ive always seen very rigid, no breaks types, cunning men in business and ive associated it with that. Is that just me? Do you all feel comfortable with job or business or just doesn't matter? Any insights helpful!

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I could see the aspect of worrying that those who want to start their own business are going to put so much time and energy into the business that despite making millions, it wouldn’t be a satisfactory relationship because they wouldn’t truly be there with you and they’d focus on the business/money. Especially businessmen type, as you called them (not sure a better term) versus someone looking to open up a coffee shop for the passion etc.
Personally I prefer my husband’s view of working which is to work to enjoy life together - we focus everything on our children and our relationships. We don’t work more than 40-50 hours and it’s important to us to continue on this way.

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Thank you for acknowledging this! It means a lot. Asking a simple question and people respond that way. Without thinking for a second how negative their impact can be for a person. I truly appreciate you for taking the time to post this, you have no idea how compassionate it is, and maybe they'll see what they're missing.

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When I read your comment, I’m thinking of the guys on dating aps who write “ceo” at “my company” and don’t actually do anything. Or works at “me”. Haha. But another thing to keep in mind is someone who has their own business is always working, that will always be their number one thing and you are the one who has to adapt. Your business depends 100% on you, so maybe that’s something that makes you hesitant.

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Yeah, possibly! Even though he has assured me time and time again that there would beore flexibility compared to typical office job, i agree there would be added responsibility and unknown stress. I see businessmen not enjoying holidays because its "additional" time.

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I’d argue that we as consultants are bigger conmen than people that want to own or build their own business, if we were to compare. Immature and thoughtless post

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Its inappropriate to come to my post just to comment that its not to their liking. They can give feedback or keep moving. Im genuinely curious to know, whats the point of this comment above?

There are so many other comments on this post that arent what im going through, but theur tone is warm and genuine. You dont have to agree if you don't understand it.

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I respect entrepreneurship incredibly. It takes a certain, drive, intelligence and savviness that others don’t have. But this isn’t to say it’s a blanket appreciation. But on the other end, it would be naive of you to say all entrepreneurs turn you off. I know a few friends who’ve created startups and are raising and earning well into the millions.

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That's a valid point, not everyone can go into it and be successful

I definitely don’t lose respect for someone if they want to run their own business. I think if anything, someone with that entrepreneurial spirit I find I have more respect for them, as generally they are going to end up being a “mom and pop” shop, and I think they are less likely to be that cunning businessman type. But I definitely don’t want to date one because it’s too much risk for my taste. I want a stable steady income that I can rely on

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Yah definitely something that is stable is one thing. But even if its stable, its uncomfortable for me. And im unable to understand why. Maybe the fear of unknown?

I've met too many men who are full of hot air talking about wanting to be entrepreneurs. Mostly mid20s. It typically is not about wanting to actually build their own business but just not wanting to take orders from someone above them. Arrogance and privilege mixed together 🤪

I can name at least 6 of these guys off the top of my head who all still live at home and don't work/have unimpressive day jobs

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Wow, this is mind blowing for me. It makes sense though, if its not followed with any action or action plan.

OP, does this perhaps come from your wanting to be financially secure? Not everyone who starts a business may have the acumen which does mean losses or just having a bad year. Is that a concern to you to hold the belief you do?

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Agree 100%! It has been a pattern that the man will talk about building a career for months and then all of a sudden start talking about owning a business one day. And i agree we're all just making our way through life, So this isn't a hard and fast rule that id break up becuase of it, but just a pattern ive noticed in people that i havent gotten along with. I like the current man more than anyone else I've liked before, but its come up after 6ish months. And i feel like either ill have to change my views about it or he'll have to prove me wrong! :D so just trying to get more insight on my views before i communicate with him so i can explain why its bothersome

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Do you fear its impact on quality time? If it is your own business, it is difficult to set it aside. The hours sure aren’t 9a-6p. With that a work/life balance takes on a while new meaning.

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Yess 100% Growing up, my father was traveling for weeks at a time or always home and the instability really wasnt ideal growing up

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Sometimes I get the sense that men say they are pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors on the side as a response to hearing a women being much more successful in her main hustle

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This tracks! Throughout the years, I've mostly talked to guys that were about a step behind me in their careers.

I see, so what's the point of getting a degree if they're not using it? Again your thoughts are appreciated as i myself dont know why im feeling this way, so I'm trying to dig deeper.

You're right, especially in the consulting world, ive probably already changed my career three times now by going with the flow. Its not a bad quality to be versatile. But maybe the qork from home is a challenge if its a business they would be not just bringing work home, but itd be like living at work!

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