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I'm currently on mat leave, but when I go back my husband and I will be splitting childcare while we wfh as we're still on waiting lists for daycare. Cost here (HCOL) is $1800/m for infant care. We'll do daycare for the first, will be getting a nanny when we have two as it'll be more cost effective.
https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_4swuk3hv42
I have four kids all over 12, but I never put them in childcare. Initially my husband and I worked flexible schedules that allowed one of us to be home, but later I went fully remote. We have our routines (Dad did mornings before work, then we handed off). We worked to build autonomy and independence, which has resulted in highly responsible children. We also later homeschooled, which means we have a lot more freedom than most families at this stage in life.
Our first is starting at school next month. She’s an infant but it’s a Montessori preschool that heavily emphasizes they are a school, not a daycare. We are in HCOL and for infants it’s about $2000/month which includes chef-prepared meals once they’re on solids. For me, I did not want the stress of finding, interviewing, and supervising a nanny, particularly as my husband and I are both primarily WFH. I hired a babysitter earlier this summer to help occasionally while I was on mat leave, and it was a huge hassle to find qualified candidates. Many were antivax, some flaked on interviews, and overall it was a lot of emotional labor. I know the same would be true if I hired a nanny and I’m not interested in managing people at home when I already have to do a ton of that at work. Plus, I’m looking forward to our daughter being with certified Montessori teachers who can educate and stimulate her, and I’m excited for her to make friends. Happy to answer more questions if you have them. Oh, and get on lists ASAP if you want daycare - we joined waitlists while I was pregnant last October (baby was born in March) and we didn’t get off the waitlist for a parent interview and then admission until mid-June.
Rising Star
Well if it’s ok for a dad to answer - get on the list for daycare as soon as possible. We pay about $275/kid per week plus two $50 activity fees per year per kid (wish they’d just charge $2 per week instead of nickel/dime if). There is a $50 / kid fee for vacation weeks if your kid is out.
Also sign up for the dependent care if work offers it so you get the tax savings.
Pick a good daycare if you can afford it, I don’t think the high end ones are worth it but a licensed one at least. I’ve heard of extras some offer, don’t go for them (kid camera access I’ve heard which you’ll just waste time)
Medium cost of living city
I love that a dad answered! Lol now I’m mad at myself for continuing this awful societal habit of excluding dads from parenting convos!
Rising Star
We are blessed to have both grandma around. My mother in law lives with us. After my wife’s 12 weeks maternity leave (C-Section delivery), our mother took turn looking after our baby (4th grandchild maternal grandma and 1st grandchild for paternal grandma). I was working out of state then and was only home in the weekends. So I took over all duties (feeding, bathing, changing diapers and sleeping with) to let my wife and both grandma rest. When my contract ended when my baby was 18 months, I decided to stay home (financially possible with unemployment, savings and my wife working) for a while. A while ended being 18 months and it was the best freaking 18 months of my life. I would take her to all kinds of activities (baby gyms and swimming pools) and be the only father there. Love listening to other mothers complain about their husbands working late and not helping 😆😆. Anyway, my wife got jealous of me and told my ass to go find a job. We found a day school/care ran by a non-profit religious organization. My wife would drop our child off in the morning at 8am and I would pick her up before 6pm. She was in that school from 2.5 year old till she started kindergarten. Even though my mother in law still live with us and child elementary school is opposite of my house, we still elected for the day school/care to pickup our child for after school programs. After school program lasted till grade 6. After that, mommy takes her to school in the morning and daddy picks her up from school. Both of us decided that child comes first so we turned down promotions and job offers that needs travelling and managing (more time at work). I have never ever missed any event in my child’s life. School presentation, Girl Scout events, figure skating lesson and competition, Volleyball games.
Dan here. My kids are both in college now - 2 years apart. They started day care at 12 weeks. We have no family close. We used Kindercare and were pretty happy with it. My wife worked a 8-5 job and could reliably leave work on time every day. I took mornings and she took pickup. Drop off was as early as 6:30am. I could drop at 6:30 and still make a 7:30 flight. Most of my trips were only 1-2 days. If I had a longer trip, my wife would do drop off and pick up. We always used formula so that made some things a little easier. When our older started kindergarten, Kindercare would drive him back and forth to school. When our younger started kindergarten we moved to on-campus before and after school program. We kept the “I do mornings she does afternoon” schedule until our younger was in middle school. From that point they took a bus to and from school and could come and go from the house without a parent home. Overall I think this worked for us. My wife was adamant that we not have a nanny. She didn’t want one person to have so much unsupervised involvement with our children. At Kindercare, there’s a site director overseeing everything and two teachers in most classrooms at most times. Also with a nanny, you end up with more issues with the nanny getting sick and having day care gaps. Kindercare was always there and always open.
Pro
Glad you asked as I’m looking into this as well. The two prices I’ve gotten from day cares in my area (HCOL) so far are 2,700/month and 3,360/month. Both of which seem outrageous to me, so I’m still doing research - but providing you with those data points so far!
MCOL area here. Two kids. Five star preschool full time is about $1200-$1500 / month per kid. It gets cheaper as they get older.
Dad here. My wife wanted to take a bigger break (she was exhausted) so she took a year and 2 months off (we have 50 weeks Employment Insurance benefit in Canada). I took another 8 weeks off when she started working. But basically, we put our son to Montessori at 15 months. It was a bumpy ride at the start (with illness, crying etc) but now he loves going there- doesn’t like to stay home at weekends. Overall, I think the sooner you put them, the better it is. I am not going into $ as Canadian numbers won’t really make sense in the context..!
I had four months off with #1 (only because I was in law school and between semesters) and 8 weeks with #2. I received about 30% pay for my second and only because my boss offered it. Zero legal right to paid leave in the states of course. For each my husband was able to stay home for 3 days. Three days. Including the time in the hospital.
And with incredible insurance each kid still costs us thousands.
Yep, a garbage country.
I'm in Canada and we pay about $1700/month for child care for our 14 month old son. He's in daycare, which is open from 6 to 6. He only goes from about 7 (earliest) to 5:45 (latest) most days look more like 8:15 to 5:30. My husband and I share pick up (usually me) and drop offs (usually him) since he works outside our home and I work at home mostly. Prices range from about 1500 to 2500 where I live.
Chief
I reco a nanny or nanny share. The nanny can come when the kid is sick, can step in and stay late when you need it, can do things like laundry and grocery shop and prep dinner or feed the kid dinner early (my kid had dinner with the nanny and then would sit with us for “second dinner” once a toddler and snack a bit.
When they got to preschool age we kept the nanny for pick up so we didn’t have to rush there. And for the above shopping and such. We actually had a nanny until grade 5, and it made life so much easier.
As others have said, there is a bowl for working moms. I live in a relatively affordable part of the country. I sent my child to a home daycare from 8 weeks (length of my maternity leave) to 2.5 years old. I can't remember the exact cost but I think it was about $800 a month. Switched to a very good, secure preschool at 2.5, one of the only non-religious facilities where I live, and it was $1000 a month until child was old enough to go to free public kindergarten.
I live in the DMV area (DC, maryland, Virginia) btw! So the numbers sound accurate!
I’m in Northern VA and pay 380/ week for toddler day care, was about $425 when she was an infant. We are big daycare fans. We have a second arriving soon ; cost wise we could probably do nanny or even au pair for a better “deal” but love our daycare and are planning to stick with it
Chief
Check your company’s child care benefits for an easy recommendation!