Where were y'all at in your lives/careers at 28yrs old?

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28 was an interesting year for me actually, a turning point year. (Disclaimer, I’m only a few years older). I was going through a similar tension, defining my overall value as a human being mainly through my professional achievements and/or lack there of. Then something crazy happened... all of a sudden I hit one of those moments of great wins and strides at work BUT when I looked at myself in the mirror I was still questioning my value, my worth, my life.. it was in that moment, in the moment when I should have felt amazing, but didn’t... that I realized. Work is work, career is career, but work and career is not life. So I challenged myself, I challenged myself to put that same effort I did in the office... outside of it.. I wanted to hit that moment of great wins and strides in my personal life and look at myself in the mirror and see how I feel... here is what I learned @senior strategist... work is easy and life is hard. It’s been a year or 2 and I haven’t exactly hit that moment of great wins and great strides in my personal life just yet, and honestly I might never hit it... but you want to know something? The journey, the ride, the process, the effort and attention being put towards my actual life... that in itself has brought me so much more happiness, mental and emotional peace, smiles and good feelings. So today when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t smile because I made, but I wink because I know I’m on the way!

likeupliftinghelpfulsmart

I was in an unhealthy relationship with someone who insisted I didn’t have to work anymore, to the point of making me feel less than for continuing to stay in what they saw as a dead end job. I left my well paying job in another field at 27, and this person provided for both of us. Then they met someone else and gave me 24 hours to leave. At that point I had no job, no money of my own, and no one to turn to that I trusted since their friends became my friends, and my family is all but gone. So at 29 I was homeless and thought my life was over. I’d try to get into shelters but every place in the area was usually full up, and most were notoriously unsafe. Not knowing if I was going to have a safe place to sleep each night was hands down the most nerve wracking, awful ordeal I’ve yet to go through. Then I got in touch with a few people who knew me from high school who let me couch surf until I got back on my feet. I made it my mission to get a job and get my life back together. I did temp work because they typically needed someone immediately, and even if it was only for a week, it was more money than I’d have had in the first place. One of those jobs was at an agency, and when I walked in and started to get a feel for the place, I realized I could make a career out of this. That was two years ago, and now I’m working to change over to creative - something I’ve always wanted to do but never believed in myself enough to pursue.

I haven’t told many, if any, people at work that story, but it does give me a unique perspective that I’m grateful for. Whenever I start to get down on myself and where I am in life, I remember back to when I couldn’t afford to eat every day. How I busted my ass to find a job with no address and only a brown bag of clothes and toiletries to my name. Yeah, maybe I’m not at the same place professionally as some others my age, but I fought hard as hell to get where I am. If I could get out of that waking nightmare, I can do anything. I’m no longer afraid of failing. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen that I haven’t already faced?

Bottom line - don’t judge yourself or let others judgement of you hold you back. We all have stories that impact how we relate to the world. Find a way to make yours your strong point.

likeupliftinghelpful
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I was out having fun on a sat night. I certainly wasn’t on a app like this asking questions.

likefunny

When I was 28 it was 2008 and I was working at a real estate investment firm. I lost my job and had to end up moving back in with my parents for the next year and a half to get back on my feet. All right before my 10 year high school reunion. I was depressed, broke, and broken. After a while I ended up taking a contractor gig at a company where I eventually met my husband. That led to another full time job, which led to another, and so on. Because of all this, I was also at home when my mother had her heart attack and I was able to call 911 in time. The set back I had ended up being a blessing in disguise in many ways. I guess what Im trying to say is that life will always have many unexpected turns, but you'll most always end up where you're supposed to be.

likeupliftingsmart

@CD1 maybe he/she wants a break from that or is still getting ready. Don't be an ass.

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I’m 28 right now.

I’ve been doing this (advertising) for about 3 years now, and my career is looking grim. My portfolio is mediocre.

But my LIFE is amazing. I’m in love with an amazing person. I’m certain that my attention to our love has obstructed my career.

And I’m quite alright with that. I’ll happily disappear from this industry, having never sold
my soul to the devil.

I work 45-50 hour weeks. Average effort. Because there are things and people outside of the office that I love far too much to neglect.

likeuplifting

A lot of things have been weighing on me lately, and I need some perspective. It basically comes down to conflating my personal value/worth with where I'm at in my career. Maybe it's a millennial thing, maybe it's a Capricorn thing, maybe I'm letting my depression/anxiety spiral get the best of me right now. (Maybe it's all of the above.)

I'm just interested in your stories and input (or even some advice, if you're feeling particularly generous this weekend).

likehelpful

Hmm at 28, I was still learning a lot about myself. My finances and career were stable-ish. I got over my desire to get of the industry but I can't say the quarter life crisis ever stopped (it keeps going until you hit 40, I feel, and then you're in your mid-life crisis). I did make a career pivot since I got tired of the agency side since it's the same thing over and over again with more and more politics so I hopped over to the publisher side. I had fun, worked hard, continued to grow as a manager, dealt with employees that made my life hell at that time (I appreciate the lessons today), and gained more well-rounded industry perspective. I was nowhere settled in my dating life but I started to figure out the qualities I wanted in a man while my "settling down" qualities started to kick in. There were so many moments of insecurities but at the same time, I started learning confidence and developed more of a backbone. My 30s are harder but I thank the lessons and insecurities I felt in my 20s to make sure I didn't make the same stupid mistakes again. I hope that helps. Whatever you're feeling, you're not alone. I find talking to others help to realize you're not alone. You find your group and go through it together. Also. Wine. Lots of wine. Cheers!

likeuplifting

I'm 33 now...28 I was working random dead end design jobs back home, dating a dead end. I graduated from a university with my "real degree" then went onto art school for 3 more years so I was already behind my friends. 2 years later I went to portfolio school and finally started my career and found something I love doing. For my story, you certainly can't gauge things by age or compare to others. Gotta choose the path and timeline that's right for you.

likehelpful

Breaking up with my boyfriend of 8 years. In a safe but boring job. Life started happening a year later.

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I seriously appreciate everyone's responses here; I'm so glad to be a part of this community. I've honestly read every single reply multiple times over. Thank you. (And side-eye @ CD1.)

So! I really hit a wall last week, and I've been simultaneously spinning out and reeling myself back in since. I turned 28 a few months ago and it's a particularly special year because 2018 is my 10th anniversary of both being in this city and! being with my partner. Cue the itchy feelings about "Should I/we move to some place new?" or "How can we start trying for kids without it jeopardizing my career or other goals?" I also began a new job at a mid-sized agency 6 months ago and almost immediately felt a major lack of support within my department. I'm doing very well at work, but I also feel like I'm drowning - reaching out for help has slightly more cons than it's worth, and this winter has sucked the life out of me. I'm overworked and truly don't know how to feel motivated when I get to the office. It could be that I might be better suited for a management consulting environment, rather than creative-agency side, but I know myself in that I don't operate well in any kind of extreme. Finding and maintaining a work/life balance without going the easy route to fix things by jumping ship has been a struggle.

While I'm awfully quick to fall into my Eeyore-feelings, I'm not one to marinate in them too long. After a few anxiety-ridden sleepless nights, I started making lists of everything I want to accomplish, both personally and professionally. Your stories have inspired me, and I want to achieve every point on my list - at least, to the best of my abilities.

I *will* start a daily routine of yoga before bed, I *will* take up a class to brush up on foreign language skills that have fallen to the way side, I *will* get better at snowboarding (and other activities that I used to enjoy but let work get in the way of), I *will* do as much as I possibly can to reach my dream of starting my own agency.

I mean, I go out enough. I generally enjoy my life and try to pursue my passions, but there has been an underlying panic inside me that feels like there's just not enough time! (or money) for anything! And it seems as if everything has an asterisk or fine-print that gets in the way.

Big sigh. The perspective y'all provided has definitely impacted me. Again, my appreciation that so many of you took the time to reply is massive.

💕

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Status anxiety is a hell of a drug

likesmart

I was getting divorced 👍

likeuplifting

On social media it looks like everyone is doing great but everyone is in the same boat as you. Just be patient. It takes more than a few years to get to the point where you feel like you’re on solid ground. And even when you’re doing relatively well you will occasionally suffer from imposter syndrome.

Always strive for success but don’t beat yourself up if you’re not where you want to be.

15 minutes of meditation a day will really help you focus. So many successful people credit meditation for their success. Must be something to it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

likehelpful

Married, one child, Art Director at the top 3 agency in São Paulo.

likeuplifting

Well, OP, I’m currently 28.

Just left a toxic job back in November. Long story short, i got a new manager who disliked me and made my life a living hell. Had me seriously question my worth, ability, and where i was going. Fell into serious anxiety i was going to be fired.

I jumped ship and landed at an awesome in-house agency. Got a nice 27k pay increase. It’s allowed me to move out into Brooklyn and I’m slowly but surely gaining some confidence back. I had a marketing and PM tell me on Friday “off the record, it’s well known that you’re the most talented CW here.” Not bragging, just showing the stark contrast.

Anyway, all my friends are getting married or are married. I’m 28, never been in a relationship, etc. etc.. so i forced myself to move out and gain some independence. Live by myself, away from friends and family. The goal is to put myself outside my comfort zone (I’m very introverted, but outgoing once I’m comfortable with you), meet new people, and learn about myself.

Long story short, I’ve discovered that no matter how much we try, we really can’t control the future. Who knows where I’ll be one, two, three years from now. Control the moment you’re in. Accept the moment you’re in. Enjoy It. Perfect is a bullshit word because everyone’s perfect is different.

likeupliftinghelpful

I finished paying my student loans, ran a few marathons and living my single life to the fullest. Now I’m 33, partnered, debt free and living in a city that’s too expensive. I’m not complaining though... I’m still running marathons. I’m very thankful because I’m still discovering my passions.

likeuplifting

Standing ovation for CW1 👏🏼👏🏼

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Had to double check someone didn’t hack my account and post this. Every time I think the next year will be easier, it just doesn’t. Life isn’t easy. Career wise I’m up for VP this year which isn’t something I ever thought would be reality at 21. Life wise.... who knows sometimes

likehelpful

Begging a hack creative director to make me a senior art director. I wasted so much time on that dudes promises.

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