{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "🐠 who deal with severe chronic pain - Do you have a good way to talk to a new job (or I guess new project) about how sometimes you are just going to have to miss randomly or going to need a break to deal with the pain? —— please no able-bodied responses of just deal with it etc.", "post_id": "61248b268d3582002b445828", "reply_count": 6, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

🐠 who deal with severe chronic pain - Do you have a good way to talk to a new job (or I guess new project) about how sometimes you are just going to have to miss randomly or going to need a break to deal with the pain? —— please no able-bodied responses of just deal with it etc.

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I don’t really bring it up and it’s easier then ever to work. I stopped opioids so rest plays a big part in my pain management. If I don’t have to be on video I lay down or sit in a recliner to relieve periodic pain while I take my meetings. You have to move around whenever you start feeling better or it will get harder to get back up again. I would just attend from a comfortable place and let them know you’re generally off camera during meetings, people understand and usually don’t ask further questions. If you’re hurting to the point where you can’t participate because your emergent pain is too strong then let somebody know you need to step away. I don’t like the generic advice people think you need to hear, they clearly have not experienced chronic pain. I live comfortably at 3-4 on the pain scale most of the time but when extreme pain comes it’s closer to 6-7, sometimes urgent care is required at that point but never the ER.

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HR knows. And I've always been upfront with my supervisors in that I have some medical conditions that may dictate me stepping away. No one has ever had any issues, I've never dropped the ball,and I always come back later and get my work done if I have to step away. I am also a firm believer in information sharing so no aspect of the teams work should be completely foreign to anyone. Understaffed projects make this all more difficult though, to be honest. I also try to work west coast clients during WFH; gives me a few extra hours to work through the bad days.

I also want to set the expectation that not being visible on calls when others are may impact ranking and overall visibility to your team and leaders. This is an unintended consequence and should be kept in mind. Also take advantage of any ergonomic assistance from your company, I have a standing desk and some companies take care of the whole setup for you.

I unfortunately live at a constant 4-5 but tend to have flare ups almost every day for an hour or two (sometimes at a 7 but sometimes at a 9 where I literally just curl up and can’t speak for 2 hours). For context I started a new job at a startup that is very much on camera for all meetings (very limited meetings due to an incredibly technical role but camera almost required). My biggest issue is the emergent pain. I also have had trouble getting pain killers that actually help because you know I’m making shit up with conditions that exclusively or very predominantly exist in woman. I’m struggling slightly in the new job. In some ways it’s a stretch and I’m having trouble getting the spoons to do a stretch and I do not know how to manage it right now. It might improve after surgery in a couple months but getting there is hard.

Talk to HR about disability accommodations. Be ready to provide a doctor's note.

Yea definitely get on paper as having a documented disability but also talk to your project teams. Just tell them, sometimes I am going to have severe severe pain and can’t hold it together on camera so I hope you’ll be patient with me if I’m not on camera sometimes.

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