why do you work so hard?

My mom, who passed when l was in school, always told me: whatever I decide to be - be a good one.

I am the first person in my entire extended family to earn a degree. I was only able to achieve this because my parents, who worked 5 jobs between them, told me how important an education would be if I wanted choices in life. We often missed out on the "extras" and struggled in a few stretches where food wasnt available. I started working at 11 years old. My two brothers and I had to work while in school to ensure we had enough. We all did stints in food service, so we could guarantee a free meal each day. I was surrounded by upper/middle class kids. No one knew of our struggle. I learned quick that being the "poor kid" was a bad way to stand out. I also learned that being the best at your craft, whether that be hauling trash or bussing tables, meant you could earn more and have pride in yourself. I learned that observation and reading a room were essential - no matter what situation I was in.

Those skills - living near the elite and working as one of "the help" gave me a unique perspective. I use that, and my observations, to get an edge in what I do now.

I had a tough run in my formative years. My dad committed suicide, after a long struggle with addiction and depression, one week before I went off to college. My mom, who was out with me celebrating my first week home from college after I turned 21, died driving herself home in a single car accident. I felt immense responsibility for each of their deaths. My brothers weren't on the advanced education track, and I had a choice. Drop out of college to get a job and keep up payments to prevent our house going into foreclosure, or finish my degree and better my life. I chose the latter, and was an orphan, estranged from my brothers for years because I was "selfish". I persevered, because my mom's words were burned into my mind.

When I was a student, I was a decent one. But - I still had to work a full-time job with a full course load to pay for it. There I was again, straddling that line. Near the elite, and one of the help. I built relationships in both worlds. You never know when you need a hook up.

I graduated with dual degrees, and went on to find a salaried job. The first person in my family history to do so. I was too late to save our family home, but I was able to provide for me, my grandma and my brothers. When I graduated, my "decent grades" weren't enough; I worked as a drycleaner, to make ends meet when my husband got a big 4 gig out of school. I would have never gotten that job, of it weren't for my extensive experience switching contexts. When I finally did get into consulting, that drycleaner had a customer for life.

Fast forward a few years, and I own a nice home, I have a comfortable life, and I never worry where my next meal is coming from. I still strive to be a master of my craft. I know my mom busted her hump to get us out of poverty; to sacrifice so we could brush elbows with the "shiny people" who have a lot. She had all the tools she needed to get ahead, and realized the struggle was generations long. Her time with the baton was monumental to me. Now, I hold the baton for my family. I hold it with honor, veneration and immense worry. I want my kids to see the to work ethic and be immune to the struggle. I want them to know what holding the baton means and treasure how far it's come. I want them to pass down what my mom told me, and realize that when I become a mom, I will share all of this with them. After all, whatever I am, I will be a good one.

A few reasons.

One being, if I generally work pretty hard (especially when starting a new job or project) and build strong relationships built on trust because of it, I’m able to occasionally slack off without feeling guilty and not damage my work overall or my credibility. Example- really strong project reviews/track record, a couple random days where I’m not as responsive cause I need a mental health chill day, and no one questions it. Kinda like working hard up front then in bursts can actually make your job a little easier in the long run.

2- mental health issues- engrained desire to gain approval/self worth from others. Took forever to figure out and am actively working on it.

3- money. Def doesn’t always equate to working hard but I have doubled my compensation in 5 years.

To allow my children and their children more freedom to build the lives they want. My parents did it for me.

My brain needs it. I feel like a pos if I’m not productive

I used to work hard. But when I lost a loved one to a heart attack at 55, I realized this shit isn’t worth it. He was very career driven and probably was going to retire soon. Not saying I just do the bare minimum now, but I’m not trying to go above and beyond anymore. Life is too short

My ambition to win,
Just to get me some ends
Help me pay my lil rent,
Maybe sit in a Benz

Money is the motivation

I don't. I just scheduled all my emails to be sent after normal work hours and on weekends.

Abandonment insecurity issues. Feel that if I don’t achieve success for myself, no one will want me 😩

I have incredible fears of financial instability due to my mom. I work hard now so my future children won’t ever have to see me struggle the way my mom did who gave her everything for me and my sister.

It‘s just how I am. If I’m not giving 100% then I’d rather not give at all. The question is if consulting is worth the 100% :/

There is a weak correlation between working hard and making lots of money. Interesting to see the responses are primarily about financial security when the question was about working hard.

I really like my clients and they really like me.

I’m not. I do not subscribe to hustle culture. I give the bare minimum and get on with my life.

The fear of being average

So that I can be financially free and become a full time stripper..

I work just hard enough to keep progressing.

Because ‘toxic productivity and efficiency’ is my family’s love language.

Emootional damage

I've been poor and housing insecure (thankfully never homeless). I've also seen the difference in how people treat poor people (we had money dad lost job) people are just so rude and mean like its a choice to need food stamps to survive.

I personally never want to go back there so while I hate my job lowkey it pays me 120k+ bonuses so I feel far enough away from poor (but at the same time it still scares me)