{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Why is it so hard for me to willingly give money to my broke friend, but when the market dips and I \"lose\" a few thousand, it doesn't affect me at all. Donating is a monthly expense for me, but there's just something about giving this friend money that doesn't sit well with me.", "post_id": "603de06f7ae829002232222c", "reply_count": 15, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

Why is it so hard for me to willingly give money to my broke friend, but when the market dips and I "lose" a few thousand, it doesn't affect me at all. Donating is a monthly expense for me, but there's just something about giving this friend money that doesn't sit well with me.

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Possibly (spitballing here, I don’t know your friend, this could be way off base) that’s your subconscious telling you you’re enabling your friend’s bad habits around money.

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She just has an atypical way of getting money (works FT but has side gigs/gets money from others) and still finds herself struggling. I've offered to help with budgeting/money management, and she always says yes, but never comes to me with a serious inquiry. I may just be enabling the behavior. 😒

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It’s mental accounting - it’s been scientifically proven that we don’t see the consolidated picture in total assets terms, but we post each and every gain or loss to a different mental account. Your “charity to friend” account is permanently lossmaking, while your “trading” account is overall profitable, and they sit completely separately in your mind as opposed to sitting under a general “money” account. If you’re interested to explore the matter further, “Thinking, Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman will open your eyes

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Ahah make no mistake it’s no easy read, it took me a few months to go through it all, every 10-page chapter is super dense with notions, but if you don’t put pressure on yourself to finish it quickly and take time to really absorb it, it’s very enjoyable

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Market loss is systematic. Broke friend is unique to you. It’s not your broke sister or your broke parent, it’s some person who you happened to meet at one point and your lives clearly diverged. Not that you can’t still be cool but Just offer to buy them dinner when you hang. No need to pay their life bill.

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Stock market has an upside (and a downside). Lending or giving money to friends only has downside. Self sufficiency is a virtue and in some way you’re riding him or her of that. It’s one thing if someone gets in a bind once and you help out. It’s another all together to make a habit of it.

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Oh wait so you’re just a simp got it

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For me it depends on their work ethic. Do they have a job? If so, do they work hard at their job? If not, are they trying to get a job? If not, then why? I personally don’t have a problem with helping people out as long as they are actively trying to better themselves and not just take handouts, but if they are lazy and have no good excuse as to why they are broke, then I wouldn’t want to help them either. So I really think it depends on the reasoning behind why your friend is broke.

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They're always working on bettering themselves, but it's the quick fix type of way. Great hustle mentality (they always figure it out), but they can't seem to move from on from this struggle. Heart of gold too.

Have a friend A who called another friend B and spoke about his health issues and how he has some surgery coming. Then goes onto ask if he can borrow $10000. Friend B thought it’s for his health and transferred but later realized the market was down. Called back friend A and bluntly asked why he needed the money. Friend A replied for buying stocks. Friend B took the money back. Friend A was left with no money to buy stocks and also lost a friend.

Friend A is a cheapster who can sell his kids for money.

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