Why is that the guys that I like and them being good in bed are mutually exclusive. Whereas guys I don’t see myself with for long term are really good 😭

likehelpful
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I’ve been with my husband for 17 years, almost 18. Sex life ebbs and flows over the years depending on life (stress, time, health, etc). A good personality and values match is what is most important. As you age, the sex stuff is less and less important. Not that it isn’t still fun and still great and all that, but once you hit your 40s and 50s your sex drive just naturally changes. So have fun now with the good in bed guys but it’s ok to settle down with someone who is perfect in every other way who isn’t necessarily a rockstar in bed. Besides, you can have fun getting better together and learning together what pleases each of you!!!

likehelpful

I completely disagree. I'm in my 50s and my sex drive is pretty over the top. Seems I've never been able to get enough. Good thing my partner feels the same or we'd be in trouble. I could never "settle" for someone where this didn't matter or thinks it's not important.

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I guess that’s why they are good? Because they are used to short term stuff and more experienced on those and prob put more effort in this than any other areas.

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Have you told the guys you like what you like in bed? My boyfriend and I communicate and the sex has gotten better and better.

Sometimes guys are just inexperienced or nervous (especially when they really like you!) so it might not be mind-blowing the first couple times, but if they’re willing to learn what turns you on and do it, no reason why it wouldn’t be really good in bed after a couple times.

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I tried to make it work with this guy I liked, communicate in bed what I like, what to do but alas it just didn’t work in the end :(

Big mood

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