Why is this career so terrible for your mental health? How can I improve?

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I’ve been working really hard on trying to sleep more, improving the quality of that sleep, and trying to set some boundaries with work. (I.e. if I’m out for dinner, I don’t check my emails.)

Not always successful at it, but it is helping!

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I def need to learn how to get more hours of sleep, I average 4-6 and I think it’s killing me.

a) client service industry means your time is not your own or bounded by business hours.
b) billable hours means your time is all you're worth.

how can we fix it? eliminate the billable hour. good luck!

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as t&e lawyer myself, I think we're really suited to flat fees for the simpler client but I wouldn't want to make such a commitment when dealing with something like business succession planning. the only reliable prediction I ever have about how long some client matters will take is "longer than we thought."

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Perhaps because, especially for litigators, there are few jobs where you can face adversity from a paid opponent who may not fight a professional fight, a client, a judge or your own partner.

Wanting to improve makes for a great first step.

After 30 years, for me, it boils down to:

1. Live the ideals of the profession so you feel good about yourself and you never worry about getting caught doing something you shouldn’t do.

2. Do the most thorough job you can so that you know you did everything you possibly could in the representation and so you do not limit your clients’ choices.

3. Don’t let clients make you their decision maker. You are the counselor which means you give them the options talk about cost and benefits and they decide what they want to do. They, not you will live with the consequences of the decisions made.

4. Develop a group of colleagues who share your ideals, the sort of people who will support you on the days when things aren’t going so well and who inspire one another. Find a mentor who will help save you from yourself. For me this started with being active in the American Bar Association.

5. Be nice to other lawyers even if they don’t deserve it since you never know who will end up wearing a black robe. It’s better to be a good person then it is to be a good lawyer. 

likehelpfulsmart

^ This. Youngsters looking for a fulfilling path in the law, write SP’a formula down. Then add one more thing to the list:

6. Remember always that as a member of a professional guild you have an obligation to nurture and teach those who have less experience, so they learn to practice the right way.

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Move to Government or in house

likesmart

This profession is unfulfilling. You can be 100% correct, ethical, more prepared, and still lose.

So you tell yourself you will get them next time. You change your approach. Still correct, still ethical, still more prepared, and you still lose.


So you tell yourself you will get them next time. You change your approach. Still correct, still ethical, still more prepared, and you still lose.


So you tell yourself you will get them next time. You change your approach. Still correct, still ethical, still more prepared, and you still lose.

likesmart

I have always thought that a key component to a "successful" litigation attorney is the ability to lose and be resilient. It's really hard. You have to learn from it if it's the kind of loss you learn from and if not you have to feel your feelings and (the hard part) let them go.

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Too many type A personalities who probably have undiagnosed psychopathy.

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The profession will take as much as you’re willing to give. It’s harder to create and enforce boundaries at the junior level, but if you can, having “anchors” (ie going to bed at a regular time, taking nightly walks, Friday night pizza, yoga or therapy) can help you feel more present and in control. But at some point, the demands become unmanageable, in which case I would seriously assess your future at your firm.

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I missed a word. I meant to say “if” they become unmanageable.

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In addition to the comments above, I put regular therapy sessions on my calendar and don’t move them unless there’s an emergency. Therapy has helped me a lot, and I highly recommend it to everyone.
Additionally, this question is very broad and the answer depends on why you feel that this profession is bad for your mental health. For example, I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. I feel like I have to be perfect 24/7 and the smallest mistake will cause the partners to realize that I’m not smart enough to be here. For this, I try to remind myself that any mistake I make can be fixed.

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Exercise, eat well, drink water. I cut out coffee for tea which helped anxiety. I started going to a therapist and what I told her blew her away. She said something that I guess I knew but resonated: “you know this isn’t normal, right?”

likefunny

In my experience, much of the awfulness of law comes from one thing: the billable hour. Get to somewhere - in house, government, even some plaintiffs’ side work - where you aren’t billing, and your mental health will improve greatly. As will your bosses and coworkers.

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I’ll second what both A3 and C1 said.

After a long and successful run in private practice that happened to have left me miserable and probably clinically depressed, I moved in house and many of the issues that were fueling that depression disappeared.

likeuplifting

No - everyone feels burnt out. Even the top partners. I think what eventually happens is that folks develop a kind of Stockholm syndrome where they tell themselves they love their jobs. But it’s really because they forgotten how to do anything else.

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Take everything into perspective. You control your life, including your work, your attitude, and the hours you put in (some will say billable hours, but that’s an incentive for bonus after you meet your minimum). Gotta look at the forest through the trees and focus on all aspects of life and not just your career. Balance is key.

Also for those who get frustrated about mistakes, it’s called practicing the law for a reason. But those are just my thoughts on it, along with everything else mentioned above.

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SA1 nailed it. I’ve been doing high stakes litigation balls to the ball for 30 years. I’ve had ups and downs. That’s life and it happens to everyone, inside and outside the law. But if you work at your craft with the understanding that you’ll never be perfect, actively manage your workload and boundaries, and take care of yourself with regular exercise, vacations, and meditation and a healthy diet, you can practice law at a high level without losing your mind. Doing those things takes work and discipline. No doubt about it. But it is 100% possible for anyone who puts in the work and applies the discipline.

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Try get outside during the daylight. Helps so much.

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Look at the partner posts in this bowl and you'll see why. 🤣

likefunny

On a serious note, the best thing for me was talking to someone. I usually talk to my best law school buds or, if I want to be brought back down to earth, my nonlawyer wife.

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Much stems from the fact that a profession that was designed to provide a stable income for people focused on justice has morphed into a business focused on making insane amounts of money for a select group of people.

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Elasticity of substitution between money and mental health varies person to person. Fortunately, it also varies employer to employer.

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Point taken on recommendations. On the idea of recommending settlements, consider the difference between:

1. I recommend you take this; and

2. This result is/is not in the range of what a court might do. I can’t guarantee anything better if you spend money going forward with the trial.

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