Wife gives birth to first child in 6 months. Tips on how to balance work and parenthood in the first year? Want to be there for my family, also in promo year.

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Remember to focus on family first, especially the first several months. If the promotion gets delayed, its not the end of the world, but you can't easily recover from being a neglectful parent/spouse.

likehelpful

I think one thing a lot of men don’t realize (speaking as a woman) is that our bodies have to heal after such a physically traumatic experience. We have to wear diapers to contain the bleeding, we’re sore and in a lot of pain, we shove ice packs down there, etc. Being patient and INVOLVED will be the biggest gift you can give your spouse. Here are some general tips I can give to build on P1’s response. 1. Always keep two ice packs ready to go in the freezer - she’ll thank you 2. Look into meal prep services like blue apron. Having everything packaged and ready to go can help keep you both from eating unhealthy fast food or delivery too often. 3. Start saving up your PTO (this is for the future) as you’re going to want that full bank. Trust me. And use it every year - never let it expire even if you have to take a random few days. You can use those days to spend with partner and baby/toddler/child 4. A roomba (if you don’t want to hire a cleaning lady - which is a good idea if you can afford it) can save you and your healing partner from having to bend down and sweep, etc 5. Make sure you’ve identified a quiet workspace for when you go back to work - a crying baby dominating your zoom call can push your patience, and it’s not the baby’s fault. Babies cry. So if you’re working at the kitchen counter right now, make sure you know where you’re going to go when you go back to work to avoid getting frustrated and irritated with baby and/or partner in the future. 6. When you go back to work, don’t forget to include your wife. Just because she’s a mom now doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still want to go to the bar for your happy hours, etc. Be mindful of the things you no longer include her in because she’s “busy with the baby”. Get a sitter. Hope this helps!

likesmarthelpful

Congratulations! 1. Research all your benefits - big ones like parental leave and smaller ones - like free pumps and supplemented daycare and all that jazz. All of that will help make WLB easier. 2. TAKE YOUR FULL PARENTAL LEAVE. 3. Focus on your family, promo year or non-promo year. One, most of the time it doesn’t make a difference. Two, even if you don’t make it, it’s one year; I promise you, you will never regret that decision. 4. Set boundaries. Start now and continue. That’s good regardless of whether a kid is involved. 5. Learn how to ask for help and say no, and recognize that’s not a sign of weakness but of intelligence. 6. Hate to tell you this but you won’t be balancing this for just a year, but for at least 22, if not longer. They’re needy. 7. That said, here are some tactical tips for the first year: A. Sleep is going to be your biggest challenge. Get night help for your and your SO, whether it is grandparents or night nurse; even if it is just a few times a week. Whatever you can arrange - it will help. B. Food and household chores the second - start stocking up on gift cards, get a cleaning lady, etc. Anything to make these things easier will go a long way. C. Be flexible and adjust as things go. We all have plans and ideas and they go out the window for a variety of reasons, so recognize it will be hard and you will need to flex and that’s ok.

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The truth is you have no idea what kind of child you’ll have or what kind of parent you or your wife will be. I’d suggest be open to being flexible with life and work plans and see where the cookie crumbles. But in general, once your babe gets to bed, you hop back online to GSD! Good luck!!

likehelpful

Throw out all traditional norms of gender roles. Share all responsibilities.

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Take advantage of paternity benefits and leave, help with everything as much as you can, do you have parents or family that can help ? Your wife will go through a lot, so be patient and understanding. Keep your project informed good luck and enjoy this really special time

likehelpful

You’re not going to have much time and your wife really needs you. If you play video games I’d recommend stopping cold turkey now, and during non work times try to help as much as possible. We had our baby back in September :)

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Get a post Partum doula and then a nanny if you can afford it. Worth every penny.

We had a thing where we took turns for the night shift. I’d get up one night for feedings and diapers. The next, my husband would get up— in the early days, I’d still have to wake up to nurse but he was the one getting baby, changing her, bringing her to me so I could stay in bed, and then getting her back to sleep. It really helped (1) never going several days without sleep and (2) because everything didn’t fall to me.

YES. The bottle was fantastic. We used formula as well. Another piece of advice is for both of you stay off of parenting chat rooms and focus on Drs advice. Those chats can be SO toxic.

Hire a lot of help if you want to sleep at night and focus on career.

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