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Additional Posts in Depression/Anxiety Talk
I can't get out of bed today.
Rising Star
@MOP, it’s good to have work and purpose during times like these and if nothing else work is a great distraction from focusing on it around the clock. Going through divorce is traumatic and it takes time to heal. There’s no magic bullet and no hard deadline for recovering, so be kind to yourself while you go through the stages. Have you sought any counseling or divorce support? There are groups that can help you process with others who are dealing with the same pain. Medicine helps, and I’m a firm believer that the best protocol is some form of therapy, self-care, and meds if appropriate for you. Hang in there, and as corny as it sounds, time does heal all wounds. You will have some scars that linger - maybe forever - but the pain and rawness will subside with time and patience. Don’t ignore the painful stuff though - it helps us understand ourselves better. The key is in observing it to learn and grow while not allowing yourself to become consumed by it. Peace to you, friend.
Many people are unable to recover from the pain of divorce. Expect it, realistically, it take a few years to recover because you are in an incredibly difficult position. There’s no need to try to rush recovery, just take baby steps.
Try to find a community of sorts, maybe church or sports groups. Hit the gym and exercise hard to take your mind off it and get into shape.
...tough, it's hard to stay distracted when every "friend" in town you thought you had was only a friend because she introduced me to them. So, once again, I sit alone, drink, and won't talk to another person until my Uber driver picks me up and takes me to the airport.
Hey I have this life but I don’t sit alone and drink. I’m just single not divorced. There are a lot of goals and things you can do that don’t have the tragic subtext of drinking on antidepressants. You need to make new friends and step on it.
What happened? Why are you framing it as “she left you”?
Because she cheated on me with an ex and did not want to stay and work it out. So she left me.
Word of advice, don't try to consultant analyze somebody going through a divorce.
@OP, I went through a divorce many years ago and she left me too (though there was no cheating). I can empathize and feel for you. That was one of the most difficult periods of my life but life does get better. In hindsight, I'm glad she left me cause I would have stayed in a really bad marriage for the sake of our kids. We simply were not a good fit.
Each situation is unique so take this with a grain of salt. Mourn the loss of the relationship but look forward. Unfortunately, I didn't and it took me a long time to finally realize that I needed to move on with my life. Couldn't be happier now though I regret having wasted many years in between thinking there would be a reconciliation at some point.
All the best. If possible, stay off the meds and try meditation, exercise and going out and meeting new people. It's not that bad out there. Just have the mindset that you learnt something valuable from the relationship and look to the future.
M1, if you don’t mind me asking, what ultimately led to the end of the marriage? How were you guys not a good fit?
@PwC2, The end came when one day she just told me, "I'm done" after an argument that we were having. We were on a trip abroad at that time.
Our personalities clashed all the time. Both of us are very headstrong and didn't communicate well at all. Very different styles of communication and over time that just destroyed us. There were way more unhappy moments than happy ones and at the end she told me she couldn't recall any happy moments which stung :( I'm over her but just recalling this makes me sad.