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I've worked at the same engineering firm for 4 years. I'm currently making $161k with only a $750 bonus, but excellent vacation (4 weeks, cash out anytime, rolls over indefinitely), 45 hours a week. I have an interview with a recruiter at Guidehouse this week for a Technical Project Manager role. It seems to be focused in the government space and requires a security clearance. What sort of salary and benefits could I expect for this sort of role at Guidehouse?
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All I want for christmas is client value creation!
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You could try to approach the fix as a "we" thing. Like you go to the gym or on a run together. Or "we" start a new diet together. Also, try to be just a little bit empathetic when you approach this subject. It's very easy to hurt feelings - especially when you say you're not sexually attracted anymore. You just sound like a dick.
Stop attacking OP. We are humans, we cannot control physical attraction. We are attracted to people on a physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. basis. OP didn't say that he loved her any less, he said he was less physically attracted. When you enter into a relationship with someone you have to understand that they are attracted to you on more than one level. If you drastically change then yes that will change some level of attraction, not necessarily love. As others said above OP, suggest to her that you want to work out together so that you can both be physically healthy and in shape. If folks here are too sensitive to understand that relationships require effort and leaving your comfort zone then I feel for anyone who is in a relationship with them.
Also unsubscribing because wife reads posts sometime and I am not having this conversation.
I feel sorry for your wife. P2, your level of immaturity is astonishing
Op - you love her for more than her body I hope. Otherwise, I'm sorry for her.
My mother-in-law would just tell my gf/fiancée that she's getting fat. Prevented me from being the bad guy.
Grow your appetite. Watch some porn with similar looking women. It's out there... your brain will review from the brainwashing you've dealt yourself over the years. Learn to love that big beautiful booty. Also hit the gym though for health reasons only.
What is wrong with people? Stop outcasting the dude for being honest about something. People are so sensitive and PC it's ridiculous
Exercise with her and set goals together. Don't shame her or make her feel bad for it; if stress eating is part of it (and it almost always is), pressuring her will make her do it more, or in private.
Get over yourself
OP, does she have an idea of what caused her weight gain (e.g. pregnancy)? If not, suggest she have a full physical including blood work to check her thyroid. My doc did that and found my thyroid was under active. Once I found out, docs setup support pros and with basic exercise I lost 60lbs.
People get old and fat. Obviously, exercise together and eat healthy. But think long term: What are you going to do when you're both 60? Call it quits because there's no sexual attraction? There's way more to marriage than that.
This post makes me sad. Maybe she's sad and that's why she gained weight. There's probably a way to fix the underlying problem through communication. Good luck, OP, I hope it works out.
Get a side chick in the client city
Yeah I mean you just have to be honest. When my husband gained a 60 lbs after our wedding (his dad died - emotional eating etc.) after a while I just told him "listen babe I love you, you need to lose weight. How can I help you?" And we did it together. Changed diets etc. he lost all the weight and then some and kept t off for years. Then we had a bunch of kids and now he's helping me "babe I love you, let me take the kids to you can get to gym." Or "I want to do a juice fast for a few days, do it with me" so I feel constantly encouraged and supposed. That being said our sex life is still good (as good as it can be with little kids around) and I never feel that I am unattractive to him. In fact the sex keeps me motivated to continue to lose weight since it reminds me how I used to be before the kids bans how I want to get back to that. So. There's that. Just be honest about it OP. Sexual health and satisfaction in a relationship is so so important.
You should tackle this like *you* want to be healthier -- for example, you want her to workout with you, you want her to help you with eating healthier, or you want to do an athletic event together. Don't attack her for her weight, the roles could easily reverse after an accident, health issue, etc. that limits your mobility or your body's ability to burn fat as it once did.
Work on this together, and always remember a major portion of the weight stuff could be related to emotional and mental health -- make sure you're a team and she is feeling good about your relationship and life in general. If she isn't, work on that too. The point is, you're in this together -- treat it like that and try to problem solve together without making it worse.
Good friend is divorcing his wife of 20 years and this is one of the main reasons. They went to therapy multiple times, but she could not see where he was coming from about needing to be sexually attracted to each other. She thought it was enough of what they had together, but she stopped taking care of herself and expected him to love her. He loves her, but needs other needs met also.
Tell her to lose weight or you're going to dump her. Plain and simple.
OP - am a bit younger but have had significant experience helping friends and family with serious weight problems. Let me tell you this right now - it's 95% what you eat. Work with your wife on eliminating snacks foods around the house. Make a game out of it. Track what you eat together. Build this into your life in a positive way and it will have rapid, positive impacts on your life.
This is pretty common. I'm sorry op. Try doing the suggestions above. I know a few people in this situation. Good luck.