Wife says that we need to give ourselves space, she asked to sleep in different rooms- she has anxiety issues and takes meds. It improved over the years.. It has taken me a while to understand..cnt’d

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Make sure she knows you love her, be honest about feeling down about it but make it clear that you're willing to do anything that she feels will help because you'rein it together.

She also should be seeing a counselor and not just taking meds but defining cooing strategies

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Your wife wants space from you and you end the sentence about her meds?

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that it’s serious condition and I became eventually more aware and understanding.. I hope It is not too late, but how do I deal with this space thing, and how do I not take it personal. How do I deal with this, I hope it is not too late

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You sound like you need a therapist!

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Hi OP. What do you mean when you wrote - I hope it’s not too late! I don’t want to assume. The both of you need to talk with one another. A therapist may help as well but only if both of you are open to therapist and willing to be honest. When your wife says space - what does she mean - separation from marriage, long periods alone, short periods alone? How has your relationship been as of late? Do you argue often or do you get along well and space is out of the blue?

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C2 thanks for the practical steps to take and not assuming- it helped and I was assuming the worst, I asked clarification and it is a temporary break after a fight we had. She thinks we have hope and willing to work on it and I will too. Thanks for the therapist advice, I am not ready now but will try it when we are done with this fight.

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Thanks C2, you gave me solid advice! Good luck to you as well.. I found it very hard to accept the space until she explained it and it was not as bad as I thought. Now it makes more sense regarding that it helps her deal with anxiety and I can deal with it once I understood.

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Thank you C1 on your second comment.. why is K1 prejudice because I am the significant other of a person with anxiety.. it is also a struggle to understand and be a supportive partner, it’s not easy.

Sorry OP. Just my first reaction was that if your wife needs space from you, that the first place you should look is at you and not her anxiety. But you seem supportive and I hope for the best

OP - I’m happy to hear. Sometimes people need space. If the need for space is reoccurring then whether that’s a hard thing to deal with is up to you. I couldn’t deal with my boyfriend doing that and he finally realized how cruel it was for me and stopped (after doing it too many times). Some partners can deal with space between fights.

I get anxiety too and having it is not an excuse to treat anyone poorly although it happens. Your wife probably gets anxiety during and after fights and that’s understandable. Like someone else wrote, be there for her and remind yourself that it really is a coping mechanism.

Much love to the two of you.

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