Will you bail your son out of $27k bank loan with some of your retirement fund after he invests in a friends business that although you warned him not to he still went ahead to do so. Cont

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It doesn’t have to be one extreme or another.. make him pay for awhile, and bail him out the rest once the lesson has been learned

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This is coming from a person who was kicked out of the house by in laws a month after we got married (arranged), husband used to give his monthly pay check to his parents before marriage....I was 23 and the whole world appeared crumbling.. I was naive, mad, both of us not having a good job... no one including my parents offered any true support financially, emotionally,. Physically.. Fast forward 25 years we both are proud self made couple, friends and relatives consider as role model for coming up and helping people in need... I’m thankful everyday now that no one bailed us out that day, even though that was not how I felt that time. 24K is not a big amount for him, give him your wisdom on how to save and make it a priority to close the loan, if you see true progress and if you want, right around when there is a 5K balance you can help in closing. Good luck, I know it’s hard.

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Gotta learn about consequences. If you bail him out, what's to stop him from doing it again?

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Nope

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Pay for it so interest doesn’t crush him and have him pay you back. For those that say no I’m sorry you had bad parents.

likefunny

Never invest more than you can afford to lose.

smart

You are all speaking to the son.

likefunny

He is showing his dad all the positive messages.

funny

He’s your son. My parents once gave me a loan for a house down payment. It was 0 interest for a period of time and then the interest rate matched the bank. They drew up the paperwork and everything so it was like “official”. Basically they didn’t want me paying a ton of interest but also didn’t want to just give me money. I paid them back faster than agreed and know that I’m a parent, I would do the same thing for my son (I mean he’s 3, but like eventually).

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I agree with this. You can teach your son a life lesson while also not leaving him scraping by each month. I’d bail him out with a low interest fixed rate, but wouldn’t slack on the amount of time he has to pay back - giving him a little bit of expendable income each month.

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Going to my parents for money was never an option. They just didn't have it. Made me plan accordingly for undergrad, grad, mortgage, etc. That being said, I always knew I could move back home if I was in a bind.

If I was in your position, I would first offer my help in other ways. Let your son move back home to save on rent, offer to help him with his budgeting. As a last resort, maybe offer to cover part of the loan (to be repaid) so that he has "affordable" monthly payments. Don't make this an easy experience for him. If he couldn't afford the risk, it was incredibly dumb for him to get himself in that kind of debt. He's young and inexperienced, but he needs to learn from this and have some reason not to do it again or at least have some drive to pull himself out of it (grow his career to get a better salary, take on a second job, make difficult sacrifices in his budget). Think about how his behaviour would be influenced if he knows he always has a bail out option.

likehelpful

I completely agree with consultant2 here. As a parent myself, I wouldn’t want life to be too easy for my kid. We are obliged to love, provide food and give shelter as parents but bad investment, any risk and all bad outcomes need to be experienced by the kid as part of becoming an adult! That’s life...right?

Genuinely curious if the question was “my dad smokes and got lung cancer should I help pay for his medical bills even tho I told him to stop” how many of y’all would throw your pops under the bus considering some of these answers.

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The kid is not going to die, that’s a ridiculous comparison

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Yes, help him. He’s your son. Just let him know this is the last time.

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If the friend’s business was coke and strippers he’d probably have the loan paid off by now.

likefunny

No

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No

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It would be a different situation if you hadn’t warned him against it and he just got burned. This one is on your son. You should not bail out.

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No. You're not an "investor" if you don't carry any of the risk.

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I fall somewhere in the middle. Don't bail him out of the obligation, but help if he really needs it.

If he is completely unable to pay for the loan along with basic necessities, I would offer to pitch in to make up the difference... And that is ONLY in the case that he is unable to pay for the basics and his mistakes with his current job/family obligations. Let him live on nothing extra, but not nothing.

I do agree he has to learn a lesson, but I also don't believe in watching your kids suffer unnecessarily.

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Have him pay the loan himself. Once he shows you the proof, you help him out with some living expenses (considering loan will eat up much if his paycheck)

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Don’t listen to salty folks who are talking about how their parents never had a dime and bla bla bla or I would never ask my parents. At the end of the day family dynamics are different and some have been luckier than others. If you are lucky enough as an individual to have parents who can help and willing to help don’t say no and if you are a parent and can help bail your kids please do. It’s not that serious, as long as the person you are helping is not a bum or parasite. Whether you like it or not, we all need help in life. We make mistakes and learn from them.

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I wouldn’t let my son starve but I wouldn’t bail him out either. He would be paying me back the $27k plus a little interest otherwise he will just do this again.

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Regardless of yes or no....please do NOT use your retirement funds to do this! Take a loan out of the bank in your name, anything else. There are usually huge penalties on withdrawing. Compound interest only works if you keep the principle untouched.

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Nope. If he wants to live with me to cut costs, I’m okay with that. But not giving him that big of a helping hand. Gotta learn from the consequences.

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