{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "🐠 With a windowed parent - what do you say when a coworker asks about your deceased parent? (e.g. \"What does your dad do\")\n\nThe truth can kind of kill conversations, but lying doesn't feel great.", "post_id": "5d4736e63872a0001a3c1774", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

🐠 With a windowed parent - what do you say when a coworker asks about your deceased parent? (e.g. "What does your dad do") The truth can kind of kill conversations, but lying doesn't feel great.

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Death is ubiquitous. One of the few things that all of humanity will experience. If you feel comfortable being honest, then you should be honest about it

likeupliftinghelpful

I would say something along the lines “he was a ...” or “he did ...” Then people can decide whether they want to jump on the topic or not, without necessarily killing the conversation

likesmarthelpful

I say, “my dad recently passed but he did ABC for 23yrs before retiring into the civilian sector, where he kept the same desk and job but with an extra $60k in his bank and RET on his nameplate haha, said if he’d been smarter he would have gone civilian much sooner.” It’s a three fold - 1. Makes it known he’s passed and it’s new. 2. That he did what he loved until the end. 3. Infuses some humour (truthful humour because he’d make that joke ALL. THE. TIME.) while softening the, “oh shit, I asked about her dead dad” awks that always follow.

likehelpfulsmart

I normally say “my dad passed away young. He had bad health”. and then I move on to talk either about the rest of my fam or turn to questions for the coworker.

likehelpful

If they ask specifics, I tell them. It’s more awk to keep up a lie. If it’s something like how are your parents, just say fine and make up something.

likehelpful

I always say, “my father passed away.” The person usually says they are sorry and didn’t know, and we move on.

helpful

He’s retired

helpful

Thanks everyone! I'll try these out next time.

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Do people actually ask about this? Never heard any questions about my parents in 8 years

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My current team does - but I was also asking because I get asked this in my personal life too, and I don't know anyone else in my situation to run things by.

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“My mom is XYZ, my dad passed a few years ago.” “Oh, I’m sorry.” “It’s ok! We had a lot of good time with him before he passed. Anyway..."

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