With midyear performance review season upon us, is there newer biased language should we be on the lookout for? Think most are wise enough not to say “aggressive” anymore, but we know the underlying issue persists. What phrases or points of feedback you’ve heard recently do you suspect are biased?

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Any feedback that's about my personality vs my work

likesmarthelpful

Agreed!! And I understand soft skills become more important but the line gets reeeeally blurry

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My favorite feedback was “you need to look more excited in meetings.” In other words, you need to smile more. 😐

likefunnyhelpful

“Your tone makes people nervous”

It’s a “nicer” way of saying aggressive.

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I was told by my boss she thinks I 'look young' when asking for a promotion 😱 Funnily enough I'm interviewing other places now for said promotion and it's going well. Nothing like being patronised by another woman...

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That's the bit that shocked me, it kind of implied I didn't need a promotion because I look young, despite fully positive 360 from team and client. Madness!

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“I feel that”, “it seems like,” language. Facts and concrete evidence only please.

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Sure! Statements like this are not bad if they have data and concrete examples. “I feel” is based on the individual’s perception and biases, which can lead to broad assumptions. So if someone says, “I feel like Joan just doesn’t care about the work,” without any examples to back it up, that’s a big red flag. “I feel like Joan doesn’t care about the work, because she’s missed 5 key client deadlines and is always late to meetings” is a good nugget for you to dig into further to figure out what’s going on. Because hey, maybe Joan does care about the work but she’s so underwater she can’t meet deadlines. Or whatever. But you don’t know that just going off of a think or feel statement that can immediate create a negative perception without context.

I was on the receiving end of feedback like this once, and had to go to HR, where they explained to me that what happened to me was wrong, and how feedback should be properly structured so its definitely a point of confusion for a lot of people!

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Look out for “try to be nicer to people.” I mean you should be nice of course. But this is not something men get told, ever.

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I’ve been told I need to speak up more, then when I did I came across as “too confident”

likefunny

“You need to be more of a cheerleader.” No man has ever been told this. And like the above, it basically boils down to be more smiley.

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You can cook bacon with your vocal fry.

Ffs.

"You could be nicer" and "sometimes you come off as abrasive".

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Scoring 170 points this week and still can't come out with a W. Wtf.

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