Women consultants: how do you deal with heavy good ole boys- type client sites? Specifically not allowing yourself to be disrespected and sticking up for yourself and your expertise or developing credibility in general in these settings? Would also appreciate advice from guys.

Two months into a tech engagement. Very few women around me and the guys around me typically tend to either infantilize women if they can or believe competent women to be “b****es”?Role itself is pretty interesting.

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Welcome to tech consulting. Eventually you get bitter and angry enough that you just don’t take the crap anymore. Does that make me a b*tch? Maybe. But I’d rather be one than be infantilized and/or sexualized by my clients and colleagues.

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Roll off the project, and if you can’t, then try to set boundaries and maintain hobbies outside of work. Not much different than managing the rest of consulting.

Ask several people in your firm too. If you stand up for yourself, not only do you run the risk of being called a b* by clients, you might get dinged by your manager in reviews due to crap like "poor communication and client interaction skills". Clients know better than to call you a b* but they can say that you're hard to work with, which is difficult to disprove and can blow back on you.

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Thanks M1. Yes, this is a risk I’m concerned about

Guy here. My wife got her Masters in EE back in the 80s. She dealt with this a lot, and I think it made me aware from early in my career.

Use silence as power when you can. This is hard for everyone, and mostly works in 1:1 and 2:1 situations.

I don't know your role, but the more you can be named presenter or speaker for your firm for your role the better. In agendas, put the lead speaker for example, even though this might not be common practice, just make sure you list everyone from your firm and client on the agenda.

Make sure your male compatriots don't try to "help" by jumping in for you.

If you are on meetings with your MD or Partner present, brief them on anything you want then to send to you in the call / meeting.

Don't be afraid to laugh, my wife pointed out it took her a while to loosen up and get formal only when necessary. She was working with all male military personnel in her initial jobs. Half were fighter pilots, the other half ex-pilots and senior officers. She was the only woman.

I know this isn't going to sound fair, but you need to make sure you are fully prepared for all meetings, formal or informal. If you are seeking input, be prepared with your questions and follow-ups, more than your male peers will need to be.

Enlist your manager, SM, Partner in equivalent in frequent feedback so they become aware of things they won't notice.

My wife became a VP of Engineering in a military contractor and then in a large SI valley company in the 90's. Both environments were male dominated. She put up with crap, but pushed back judiciously and firmly. She said she also pretended not to hear things sometimes when she thought there would be a better time to put someone in their place.

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