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Been happily married 5+ years. Find somebody you’re able to grow with and who really encompasses the word “partner” in life partner. Key things stand out to me:
- They view your success as their success, and vice versa.
- They don’t hold grudges or blame; they’re emotionally mature.
- They don’t just assign certain responsibilities to you or treat you like a maid (e.g., they evenly help with housework, that doesn’t always fall on you).
- You both recognize that you will both change throughout your lives, yet always make an effort to change to benefit each other/grow together. I can see how people can grow apart and become completely different people - it takes self reflection and effort to grow in such a way that keeps you two close.
Also, in my experience, if you travel really well together, that’s a good sign 😂. Traveling will reveal a ton: spending habits, what they prioritize in life, interests, organization and planning preferences (last minute or big planner), and how you both act under stress.
If you marry the right person, marriage is amazing. I believe that the right marriage shouldn’t be hard; sure it has hard moments, but that is relatively rare. I think about past and future with a big smile on my face - I feel grateful I get to navigate life with this other person. It is a huge commitment and a leap of faith, but it can be worth it.
Conversation Starter
Any tips on how to make it work when one is a big planner and other is last min person? We travel well together, but when it comes to planning, I like to plan and book stuff in advance and he is always the last minute person which gives me so much anxiety. He is just bad at time management but sometimes it drives me crazy
Proactively see a couples therapist.
Pro
Income doesn't matter, but values about money and how you view your future do
Find a man who pushes you to be successful in the ways you want and believes in your dreams
Watch how he treats everyone: wait staff, strangers, neighbors