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Would you advise splitting rent/expenses when moving in with SO 50/50 or based on income? He makes ~$50K more than me, but my salary would still allow me to afford an even half

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If you are not married, I’d suggest 50/50 (same as you’d treat a roommate). I think the income-based could create a scenario where one person is living above their means and it could create messy power dynamics. Before we were married, my husband and I lived in an apartment where we split rent 50/50 …I made more and covered most utilities and groceries, but he also covered most date nights. Also, because I made more and was living well below my means, I was able to save up for the down payment for our first house. After I bought the house, we split the mortgage 50/50. Since we got married, we have collective debt and expenses so we pool resources and split costs more broadly than just living expenses (student loans, car note, insurance, child care costs, etc.).

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There are tons of options presented here OP. Baseline recommendation, discuss with SO. % of income, 50/50, they all have different merits depending on your situation. Because SO earns more are they pressuring to be in fancier/more expensive place? Maybe they foot more of the bill. Or maybe they pay more for dates or vacation or groceries and housing/utilities is 50/50. If you’re at the relationship point where you are moving in together, all things should be on the table and openly discussed. The more communication there is about each aspect, the better your financial relationship will be (one of top arguments of couples) and there won’t be room for resentment. When my SO and I were dating I earned less. We bought a house, did % of income split with leftovers being our own money to spend as we pleased. After getting married everything goes in the pool and is our money. I am now the breadwinner but still it’s all in the “our money” pot. If we have a big purchase over a certain threshold ($500) we talk about it. That said we’re both CPAs so we talk about money constantly anyway even under that threshold haha. But we are super open about everything and it allows us the flexibility to adapt as needed. One weird tradition we’ve kept (even after four kids).. whoever has the highest priced meal (including drinks) pays for dinner. Usually is my SO but can be me. It’s paid with our joint credit card on either side so there is literally no difference but we find it a funny thing that links us back to when we were dating 😊

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Don’t understand why most responses here say it should be based on income… I think it should be 50/50 because it’s not my fault they make less. They are still choosing to live in a particular type of place and should be able to afford their part of the rent. But because it’s a relationship, other things can be split differently. The one making more can get more groceries and utilities and pay for more dinners… it’s good to keep a straightforward demarcation between what’s being spent to keep it balanced and what’s being spent for sake of love.

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KPMG1 I couldn’t date anyone like you. I’m old school and can’t stand the 50/50 culture. Same as going on a dinner date. If a guy asked to do 50/50, I’ll pay my part but bet I’ll never talk to him again.

I make 2.5x times my hubby does. 125ish combined income; however, we don’t view money as mine or his. It is OUR money. All of our income goes into a joint account, we pay all our bills, put aside savings, and allow us each $150/month to do whatever we want. We BOTH own the house, we BOTH have cars, etc. I guess this wouldn’t work for everyone. But we view our relationship as a partnership and we go at it together. We did this pre and post marriage. It doesn’t matter how much I make or he makes. We make decisions together, including our budget.

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Pha

I personally prefer based on income, but you have to do what you are comfortable with. When I made less than my partner and we did 50/50, I always felt it was unfair that I paid the same when I made so much less. Now my situation is reversed (different guy) but we split based on % bc I don’t want him to feel how I did when I made less.

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Dating and engaged-50/50 Married-combine your finances. Just my take

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This may be unpopular, but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be 50/50, or close. You can afford it, and you’re getting just as much benefit and use of an apartment and utilities as he is. For me, it just seems ridiculous that a promotion (we make around the same, five or five or take several thousand with bonuses) would mean I would start paying a few hundred more dollars each month, and my fiancé would pay less, or vice versa. One of us making more money doesn’t make the other person financially unfit. Side note: he does eat significantly more than me and my food items are much more simple and cheap, so that is the one thing that is kinda separate not split evenly.

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I was so annoyed at how much my grocery bill went up after I moved in with my SO lol. And I eat a lot myself! Years later we now have two little boys and they can already almost split a whole pizza themselves. Once they are teenagers god help me!

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Logically, based on income is the most fair approach and it would allow yall to BOTH have more discretionary income to make fun memories with!

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Yeah I’m shocked so many people think income. Why wouldn’t it be 50/50? You both live there. You both use it. Why should income factor into that?

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Because one can afford only 1K home, and another makes more and would like to enjoy beautiful 4K home.

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50/50. An honest split so no one feels taken advantage of

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My husband and I (female) just got married (yay!). We lived together for four years beforehand and split rent based on income and I picked up more of the utilities too, and were continuing this situation post marriage. It felt more fair but I would not feel that way if we had just been roommates.

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When dating, I made more and we split based on income. Now that we’re married, we save the same amounts as “fun separate” money and the rest goes to joint expenses and savings. If you’re resentful of splitting 50/50, you need to discuss with him because it’s not going to be beneficial for your relationship in the long run. Income-based or 50/50 only works if both parties feel good about it. Harboring resentment leads to trouble.

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Def based on income, if you are not married and don't have a joint account for your benefits

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My fiancé and i split 50/50. He makes more than me, so he just pays for date nights and adds more to our joint savings.

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Are you both equally using the home and the utilities? Then it should be split evenly 50/50. Your respective incomes have nothing to do with your use of the home.

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It depends on what works for you and your relationship. My husband grew up with the mentality that it’s his responsibility to provide so he pays the mortgage, groceries and bigger expenses. He makes way more than I do though

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Love this

It should be 50% of your income and 50% of his income, no matter what the income is, so the amounts will be different obviously, but you both are still giving the same percentage. So if total expenses from top to bottom is $1,500, she makes $50,000 and he makes $100,000; she should pay $500 and he should pay $1,000; not just give 50% up of her paycheck just off the top.

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What if I bought the house and he move in? Should I ask him to pay half of the rent price on the similar house?

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BDO 2–similar experience. When my SO moved in they were in a tough spot, so I didn’t charge—though they helped in other ways (they like to grocery shop and COOK), yay. Once his situation changed and was more financially stable he started contributing to more expenses. When we parted it was amicable and I don’t feel “used”, but we did have the conversation about how each would contribute. There’s tons of ways to “help” around the house that aren’t financial.

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My husband makes almost 2x more than me. We split mortgage 50/50. I have no issue with that since I can comfortably afford it.

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I go 50/50 on the mortgage with my husband and he makes $45k more than me. Groceries we try to split them as well. However, he takes me out to eat a lot lol I take him out too ☺️ my salary allows me to afford it

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My almost husband and I split 50/50. This has allowed me to put a lot into savings which we are using to pay for the wedding and a future house! It was just easier this way that him sending me rent money and then separately trying to combine savings

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I currently live with my boyfriend. He makes way more but I can still comfortably afford half. We split all household things 50/50 but he picks up more date night tabs. I personally feel like this is fair and I’m pulling my own weight.

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