Would you be okay with your daughter joining a sorority? Assuming for this post, that covid is no longer an issue.

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Depends on many factors but in general yes. I was in a sorority in college and it was not all of the horrible stereotypes. It was much more just nice women who enjoyed the sisterhood, community service, etc. that said I heard horror stories about some other sororities. Probably very school dependent

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Extremely school dependent. I was in a sorority on the west coast and it was a great experience. I’ve heard stories from more “hardcore” Greek life schools like Ole Miss that are... terrifying.

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Well I'm assuming she's 18 so yeah, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. I was in a sorority and turned out it really wasn't for me. It got me involved with Rugby though and those girls are still some of my closest friends almost 20 years later.

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I joined a sorority and it was a great experience. I met lots of wonderful women, and to this day my best friend is a woman I met the first day of recruitment in my sorority. I recommend it if your daughter has no other plans for other campus groups she’s excited to join.

If she has other groups/clubs/a job on campus that she’s excited to join, I might recommend against the sorority if she’s not excited for a sorority too. Sororities take up A LOT of time, (mandatory weekly meetings, service requirements, house tasks, plus pressure to be very active on campus with other Greek events, etc.) so if she’s planning on being an athlete or joining a drama club or academic group or the campus newspaper, she may find herself torn. At the end of the day, sororities are just another way to meet lots of people on campus. It was great for me because I didn’t do any other things my freshman year, so that helped me meet people.

I joined a sorority in the Midwest, and it was very down to earth and fun. I agree - I’ve heard horror stories of some Southern universities, so I’d be cautious there.

Greek life is definitely a gateway to partying, but if your daughter is mature and smart, she can handle it. I went to a lot of parties at first, but it never affected school, and quite honestly, I was going to get invited to parties no matter what - it’s college. I wouldn’t avoid the greek life just to avoid partying.

If she’s going through recruitment, just encourage her to be herself and be open to meeting new people. She doesn’t have to join anything if she doesn’t like it, especially if they’re making her uncomfortable with crazy requirements!

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During college I contemplated joining a sorority. I was told you make lifelong friends and plenty of professional relationships in the future. Actually campus day to day sorority activities are so far from that fact. It felt like forced friends, and lots of partying, not to mention the occasional scandals. I ended up not joining a sorority and still felt like I had a very fulfilling college experience and came out with lifelong friends and even a husband. I don't think there is anything wrong with a sorority but it just wasn't for me. If my daughter wanted to join one, I'd tell her to evaluate what she really wanted out of her college experience and how greek life is not all its cracked out to be.

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I would likely feel uneasy about it. Hopefully it would be one that has more of an educational/save the world vibe than a party vibe. But let it happen, while having a lot of conversations about being drugged, raped, personal responsibility, looking out for friends, etc etc. I mean I didnt even go to college on campus and as a high schooler i was drugged by a BF and he did whatever it was he did. I was also drugged at a bar while in college. So those things can happen no matter what. Im trying to think of what other conversations would be important for me to have with her before college/sorority life...

While I did not join a sorority, and instead a business fraternity, I would be okay with her rushing and figuring out if that is something she wants to be a part of.

As other responders noted, it is very school dependent. Southern schools tend to make their new members do some messed up stuff that is very harmful emotionally/physically/mentally, whereas other schools really do treat everyone like sisters. Depends on the child, school, etc.

I did not and do have a bias against them, but it’s ultimately not up to me and if i advise against when she is interested, she will likely just do it anyway. I would ask q to try to understand the nature of the sorority (if it s just getting trashed and feeling some sense of worth/beauty/acceptance missed in hs, or something more than that). I would not agree to pay any dues however and let her know nicely that if that’s a priority to her, she will need to figure out how to work or save to pay for those dues while in school. I think that’s a reasonable responsibility to require

I did it and loved it and made lifelong friends. Of course there were some downsides too but overall it was a great experience. It’s good to show her you trust her decision making abilities (assuming you do).

I joined a sorority and it was fine - about half of my best friends from undergrad were in the sorority and half were not. All are very successful people post-college, whether they were in a sorority or not. I would have no problem with her joining if she wants to! But I’m not sure what the sorority stereotypes will change to in 18+ years when she’s in college so my mind may change 😂

I think so but we’d talk about why she wants that and overall expectations of college partying etc.

I joined a sorority mainly as a mechanism for making friends with other women on campus. I went to an engineering-focused school so women were very rare! On the whole, it wholly depends on the culture of 1) the campus 2) the chapter itself and 3) the personalities and goals of the women.

My friendships from sorority life have lasted far beyond college and many of the women I was friends with went on to have intense and successful careers- many, many MDs and PhDs. Not to say that we never partied, we did, but it always felt like an appropriate level of mischief to me- and college students usually do find ways to party.

However, my opinion of many sororities has been very low. Especially in the south (I lived in Texas for 7 years after college), as others have mentioned the culture was less about education and more about materialism and partying.

The best recommendation I can give for your daughter is to do her due diligence. Take the time to get to know these women and be prepared to walk away if they try any bullshit like hazing. Not just to walk away, actually, but to blow the whistle on it because it’s not acceptable in any capacity. If she is mature enough to use her judgment, she will be fine.

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