{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Would you bring your partner to your work holiday party? I meant, I’m not in the closet, but I don’t declare that I’m gay to everyone at work, like straight people don’t do. I’m wondering if I should bring my partner, go there solo, or just not go.", "post_id": "619d6c3f58684b00339b856e", "reply_count": 47, "vote_count": 14, "bowl_id": "58f80c96ae9f610010f866a8", "bowl_name": "LGBT 🐠" }

Would you bring your partner to your work holiday party? I meant, I’m not in the closet, but I don’t declare that I’m gay to everyone at work, like straight people don’t do. I’m wondering if I should bring my partner, go there solo, or just not go.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

People have gone out of their way to get to know my partner and I when I’ve brought her to holiday parties. Almost like they’re overcompensating to show how inclusive they are. Food for thought: Being remembered as the gay one is better than not being remembered at all 💁‍♀️

likesmart

Same - agree with the overcompensating - it always felt so blatant but I also think most of colleagues found it easier to chat with other male partners in general given that Alix is sooooooo skewed in terms of gender and age. BUT he was, honestly, also just much better at connecting with my coworkers than I have ever been; much if it is because he’s American and I am not, so even though he doesn’t follow all the sports, he gets them all + so many cultural references and such.

like

Everyone has their own definitions and stages and goes at their own pace, but, in my personal opinion, if you don’t bring an SO in a situation where you otherwise would, except that they’re same sex, to me that means you’re still at least partially in the closet.

like
Recent IconRecent

Of course bring your partner! Straight people bring their significant others without any explanation, that applies to LGBT people as well, you don’t owe anything to others.

likesmart

If I had a partner, my office was having a holiday party, and +1s were allowed, I'd take em in a heartbeat.

likeupliftingsmart

Always. Normalize it.

likehelpful

Also, LA1, we’re not suggesting taking a +1 to an Iraqi wedding: OP works at Deloitte, one of the most liberal organisations on earth, with LGBT partners, with a worldwide presence (including in countries where LGBT partnerships are entirely common) and stated anti-discrimination policies. Despite the intial fear, the level of fearlessness or politics required (even if we accept that not everyone is political) is minimal.

likeuplifting

My husband attends all the holiday parties with me, even client’s parties when +1 is allowed. Visibility and representation is important.

like

Someone give me the balls to do that

like

I hear you. I’m not really out but a D event would be one of the first public events I’d bring someone.

like

Thanks everyone! I’ll bring mine. But I’m a little concerned that I’m new at work, and I don’t want to be remembered as ‘the gay guy.’ Any tips from anyone who actually brought theirs?

likesmart

Seek out their LGBTQ Employee Resource Group. I know they have one because I met a few when I worked at Booz Allen Hamilton at the Out & Equal conference. Besides, the more we continue to hide who we are, the more we perpetuate these ideas that it’s not ok to bring out partners to events where others do without nearly as much angst. Given all the inclusive places where we are accepted to work freely as ourselves, ya gotta ask yourself if you really want to work for an employer that doesn’t allow you to bring your full self to the workplace. I’m glad you decided to invite your partner! I hope you’ll find you had nothing to worry about and will have a blast!

like

I bring mine so that others feel comfortable to bring theirs

like

Or… take me

funnylike

I’ll bring them if they want to go, no hesitation. Sadly, I am a single Pringle 😕

like

I’ve always brought my partner 🤷🏾‍♀️

like

It won't make you "the gay guy", and that's it. Not to worry.

like

Hm your partner needs a better partner I think. Tell them to hit me up!

like

Sure! He always come with me at the the work parties. I've never hide to being gay and in couple. I think that if you live without prejudice on who you are, your colleagues will make the same! My bosses invited my fiance to every company dinner and parties...

like

Depends on the company culture. At my old employer, I probably would have gone solo. At my current job, I most certainly would bring him.

like

Sounds like you’re at a much better place now GC1. 😊

like

Yup I always bring mine, makes work events so much more bearable

like

I’m bringing my partner

likeuplifting

I would bring mine but we aren’t having one this year 🙃

like

I sooo relate to this

like

Related Posts

Guidehouse benefits? What do they look like in regards to PTO, 401k, etc?

likefunny

I quit my job and enjoying my first week of vacation between jobs. Today I measured my blood pressure, first time under 130/80 in years. LOL

likefunnyupliftingsmart

I haven't taken a single vacation or sick day in over a year. I'll lateraling to another firm next month (pending conflicts). Would it be in poor taste schedule a vacation prior to giving my two weeks notice? I love my group and I don't want to burn bridges.

like

Im an Australian travelling to Hawaii for 7 days for holiday. What's your best recommendations on things to do or see?! Staying in Waikiki. Thanks!

like

Uh so does anyone actually save their pto days and cash them out at the end of the year?

like

I have so much work to do but I want to be lazy and enjoy the holiday weekend 👩‍💻

like

Do you fully disconnect during vacation?

like

Hope you all have a great Holiday!

Vacation! Enjoy work fellow consultants

like

Go-to vacation destinations for family with younger kids (8 and 5) for spring break time frame?

like

Maternity leave question - what happens to your vacation days when you are out on mat leave? Do you get to use them at a future date after your leave is over?

Do you guys give your boss's New Years' gifts? I'm thinking of doing one since I didn't give a holiday gift but thought it maybe weird

like

Does anyone know if/when NYC holiday markets are open this year? Google maps is showing that the union square one is already open...

like

What’s the best holiday present you received from your agency/company?

like

We offered our nanny the option to stay at home due to the cold weather. She decided to but we never clarified if we were paying her or using a PTO day. Normally we guarantee 40hr pay. Do we pay 4 day

I got hired to work as a 9-5. Will I work more if there is a need because we have tight deadlines? Absolutely, but don’t expect me to do so all the time and be available on the weekends. Why is it being celebrated to turn into a slave for a firm that doesn’t care about you anyways? Had a boss that was proud that he worked 60+ and also worked when he took vacation leave. Am I being oversensitive?

like

I’m in desperate need of a vacation. Where can I go that’s relatively inexpensive and warm in December? (That is not Hawaii or Caribbean) Cairo? Thailand?

like

Would I be burning a bridge by giving two weeks notice after coming back from two weeks PTO? It’s a big firm. I’m leaving to start my own.

like

How are our PR peeps managing optics ;or getting ahead of bad PR) for large holiday gatherings, talent feeling pressured to join a group celebration? Financial aspect of large event vs. raises at standstill, low headcount budget? Sounds like there are it if executive heads in the sand, despite December fast approaching.

like

ACN peeps...I want to take PTO while on the bench. Is there anyone besides CC/TFS that I should notify?

like

Additional Posts

Just broke the 1000 club in Fishbowl likes, I'll take my promotion now

like

My H1B was approved aug 25 but still haven’t received notice in mail. Should I call them?

like

As someone who recently left biglaw for in house, yes the wlb has been great but man...these comp numbers are making it hard to not look back and think twice about that decision....

like

Anyone missing traveling M-Th, this was last night a little past midnight on delayed Amtrak from PHL -> NYC. Last minute client meeting in the evening pushed my return train from 6:30 to 11:30. I'm already over this.

Post Photo
likefunny

What would be the reasons to be classified as an exempt employee and not get OT? Bc of covid?

like

Places where tipping is expected, but don’t let you do it on a credit card, suck. I’m looking at you, valets. And you too, Sonic Drive-in

likefunny

Is an MHA treated the same as an MBA in the healthcare consulting world? I keep seeing info. on MBA grads making ~150k post grad and can't help but feel like I'm grossly underpaid if that is true. Have an MHA, multiple certs, 3 YOE, making less than 100k right now.

like

What is the average salary for a CD/GCD position in NYC at a large agency? I’ve been at a big shop for a while and looking to move...

If your company offers paid parental leave, can you share some insight into your policies or implementation tips? We're thinking of offering it concurrently with any existing paid parental leave at the state level, so the employee is covered 100%.

like

My professional life at the moment is far from ideal. I’ve been on quarantine (long story, but a good one) for the last seven years. Royalties from my books don’t pay the bills. My entrepreneurial pursuits remain hampered. For the interim, I’ve been looking for a remote opportunity where I can leverage my skills in marketing, sales, social media, and elsewhere for a decent sum. I have a social media presence which, in recent years, reached millions. There has to be something exciting I can do.

like

Any advice on how to tell my current manager (and team that I’ve been working with for three years and really like) that I’m leaving the company for another opportunity? My current company, WLB, benefits, team, etc. are all great but I have a chance to move into tech doing something new.

like

Can anyone share their interview experience at AWS? Is it similar to Amazon (focusing on leadership principles)?

like

Any recommendations for how to do French to English official diploma translations for immigration purposes?

like

Does anyone knows if Deloitte can file H1B before the starting date? I got hired around October 2021 and official starting date might around summer/fall 2022. I am a F1 student who holds OPT for one year, period from Feb 18, 2022 to Feb 18,2023. So it seems I just got one chance for H1B lottery, which is March 2022. Before I reach out to HR, just wanna know if anyone has similar situation!

like

Had an interview at a firm where they have an unlimited vacation policy that’s just “speak with your deal teams in advance to get time off”. Anyone actually know in practice how many days is a normal amount to request in a @year? My current firm gives you 20 days and very much pushes you to take those days, so just wondering if anyone at a firm with a similar policy takes around 20 without issue.

likehelpful

How long is EYP interview process? TS&E

like

Advice appreciated: my current firm is starting my gc process. But i got an offer for 50% salary increase + a rank promotion with another firm. I don’t know too much about their gc process but I have heard somewhat bad thing about it. Should I stay or leave?

like

Can I leverage my AA status to get free checked bags on Alaska Airlines?

like

Have $20k to invest. What’s the best way to DCA this amount ?

like

Accidentally missed credit card payment of $12 because it auto connects to my uber card I never use and now I’m scared it’s gonna negatively affect me

funnylike

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal