Would you buy a house with a partner you’ve been with for <2 years?

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The first house my husband and I lived in (weren’t married yet), house was in my name and he essentially paid rent. We had been together 3 years (met in college).

Also had a brother in law do something similar. Gf at the time (now his wife) helped with the down payment and then lived rent free for x months/years. House was in his name because they weren’t married.

Definitely wouldn’t recommend putting both names on the house if you aren’t married.

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This is the best, honest advice I’ve heard on this subject.

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Bought one with my now-husband at two months shy of two years. Are both of your finances transparent to each other? Have you talked about what happens when you two split? What will happen to the property? Will you put these contingencies in writing? Pre-marital assets ever discussed? Is marriage on the horizon?

Ask yourself and the partner all the questions imaginable and see if there are any red flags

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Thanks, helpful food for thought. Gf wants to start looking at houses soon and it’s sooner than I’d ideally like as we have a lot to work out, especially these factors which she certainly hasn’t considered

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No only if married

likesmart

A friend of mine did this and they broke up. Had to live with ex for several months until they were able to figure out how to split the property. Wait for marriage to buy a home together.

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It can happen when you’re married. When you’re not married you have to essentially get divorced and split assets sometimes with a lawyer as though you were married.

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Not unless you’re engaged (at the minimum)

I bought with my husband (fiancé at the time) about 6 months before our wedding because the market was seriously starting to heat up.

So glad we did but we had been together for 11 years prior to purchasing and had lived together for 10 years so we were fully committed and knew what we were getting into.

IMHO if you are not 150% this is your life partner I would not purchase together.

You should also have full financial insight (including sharing a joint bank account together), have lived together for a period of time (1 year minimum) and be committed not only to the person but the location you’re choosing to buy.

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I agree w SC1 above.

I bought with now wife when she was gf. It was less then 2 years. I knew she was the one before we did it though.

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Similar to you - together about 2yrs. Bought a place together in both names. Married about a yr later. We talked finances but never really what would happened if we broke up cause we knew what we were at the point.

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Buy together only if you're married.

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I wouldn’t buy a house with anyone I’m not married to.

If I was with a partner and I wanted to buy a house, I would buy the house that I want and keep their name off the title. If we get married at a later date, that house is going into a prenup

likesmart

This is my ideal situation. Will update on how that conversation goes in the near future

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I’ve been married 3 years and still not sure about this.

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There's a simple answer but you & others might not like it but it makes things less complicated: You don't buy houses with people you're friends with, dating, engaged to, thinking of getting engaged or thinking of marrying. Buy a house when you get married. Don't combine finances either until you get married. Now you can share your financial picture with them but no joint accounts until you've said I do especially with how easily people give up & quit today. Keep your life simple. If you're going to live together which I wouldn't say don't, but if you do it, 1 person owns the house & the other is a renter...until you're married. Don't do married people things until you're married people.

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Nope. I had been with someone two years when I bought my house. I put it in my name, and I paid the mortgage. SO paid groceries and utilities.

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No. I've been with my partner 12 years. If you aren't married, dont do it

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I bought a house with my now husband when we hadn’t been together for two years. But I made the down payment and it was all in my name and I made sure the payment I signed for was one I could handle even if him and I were to split. We moved in and he proposed a month later so it all worked out but as long as you have open communication about what happens if things don’t work out then there’s no harm in it in my opinion. Renting is just throwing money away you’ll never see again.

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Transactional costs, taxes, maintenance, and insurance (most likely), is also money that you will never see again. Buy a house when you are planning to stay there for 5-7 years at a minimum.

I bought my home roughly 2 years after being with my husband. I was house hunting when we met and delayed my plans when we decided to move in together. I then continued to house hunt and bought my home on my own terms, he had no financial contribution and most lenders here won't allow you to put both names on a loan without a ring of sorts of promise of marriage etc.

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No, I've seen too many situations from friends where this has gone south

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Thanks all. I just needed a sounding board to get some other views. For context I’m late 20s, ethnic minority and worked hard to be in a position to purchase alone. Gf is a few years younger, makes half what I do, and as mentioned been together <2 years.
I’m terrified of throwing my hard work away. Although we live together, we’re not married and there is lots more to discuss

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I live with my boyfriend ( of 9 years ) in his flat which he bought when I wasn’t ready to make that financial commitment. I do not contribute to his mortgage but I pay all the bills and living costs ( food ) and split every expense. This house will be 100% his and I would have no claims on it. We intend buying a place together in a couple of years

Whatever the agreement, put it down in paper, ask for a lawyer specialized in rental agreements to review ( or draft you one ).

You do want to be prepared for if/when it doesn't work out. But you also want some peace of mind and make a bet that the relationship is going to work.

E.g. Prenuptial agreements don't prevent you from being happily married.

Be sure to be thorough and discuss everything with your partner and discuss expectations.

smart

I did exactly this. Bought a house with my gf <2 years in relationship and going strong. Now saving up money for an engagement ring.

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Why the desire to buy a home? Renting, especially right now, is a great option.

helpful

Depends on location. In my neck of the woods, buying is cheap compared to renting. My house would sell for $400k, but it could rent for $3,500/mo

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I’d buy a house and let them rent :)

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