Related Posts
do you ever just want someone to hold you?
Anyone from Gartner can provide the interview process? I’ve had interviews, in the following order, recruiter, team panel, and hiring manager. Everything has been promising and I’m feeling confident about it so far( at least from my perspective). It’s been a little over a week since the interview with hiring manager and last communication with recruiter. My anxiety is high not knowing who what to expect next.
Additional Posts in New York City
Does NYSC have lockers and showers?
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Visual Storyteller
Conversation Starter
So what one person makes more than the other. We are not defined by how much we make. If I date someone and they broke, cool. Is there anything underneath the superficial stuff that is compatible with me? Am I compatible with them? Obviously if y’all arguing or feeling some type of way about money then you guys aren’t that compatible.
At the end of the day dating is for marriage prospects. I don’t care how much you make, I care much more about how you are as a parent, how you handle stress, can I count on you, do you lie, do you have any bad habits, etc…
From a perspective of having basic needs met-Money is important, but liking and loving who you are with supersedes money.
Money is important .. anyone who says it’s not a factor is lying.. in fact majority of failed marriages (difference between dating) has a lot to do with money .. you can’t escape it .. you need it and BIG’s Mo Money Mo problems is a flat out lie .. because more money can alleviate a lot of things.. if it isn’t .. why do you work .. why do you spend time trying to better yourself to move up .. would you take a promotion for less pay? No.
There are many tangibles to make a successful relationship and we can over engineer the hell out of it but money is a major part of it
For women and through personal friends they have mentioned:
- it’s stressful having to be the provider, protector, household manager, mom AND deal with corporate America challenges that women have to go through
- how do you mitigate this? Having a partner who can provide equal (I would argue more) contributions.. I would argue women would want men to make more because of the above comment (women when married with kids now have 3 hard jobs) to alleviate the burdens
It’s fun and charming when your young, dating and most of the responsibilities are splitting dates and rent .. yes I seen comments where .. hey it’s OK .. we manage by splitting etc..
.. it’s a different animal when your legally married, kids and now much more depending jobs and a household to carry
My advice to the woman who wrote this .. think ahead ..
Rising Star
I love my gf because she's cute, fun, loving, has the right values and I'm sure that she'll be a great mother. I couldn't care less about how much money she makes. I also don't think that money could compensate for the traits that I'm looking for.
Rising Star
I’m female. For me it would depend why. Like if it’s general lack of motivation and ambition I don’t want that in a partner. But that has more to do with my core values than with actual finances. But if he does something he loves that just happens to pay less (for example, being a school teacher) then that’s totally fine with me.
This^ my SO is extremely passionate about nonprofit work, unfortunately doesn’t pay so well. He is ambitious and wants to change the world for people, but the field just doesn’t provide the pay
Chief
I’ve never dated someone more successful than me
My bf makes ~40% of what I do. You end up needing to support them a lot. If he were like, a social worker or something I wouldn't mind, but he's a bartender and doesn't seem to have any intention of changing his situation or income.
I would say a pay gap is fine unless they're making so little they couldn't survive in NYC without you. He tells me he feels like a burden, sometimes I feel like I'm a safety net for his irresponsible choices.
Are we the same person SD1 ha? You just described my life. Pay for dates, groceries, travel, our dog, had to swipe him into the subway the other day. At some point you're like "dang, just do *something* for me! Take me out for ice cream, idk!"
Women will always go for financial security, status and date at their level or above, that's that. They are the one who gets Prego and at a very biological level they seek safety in case THAT happens, no matter how morally or politically correct we pretend to be. The only exception are very masculine men with a strong character which in many way is a form of wealth and richness, the ladies will almost always fall for or at the very least cheat with, I'm fortunate enough to have both to a large extent. I lost count of how many married women or those in committed relationships cheated with me over the years simply because either they saw I'm filthy rich and kinda assholy and didn't tolerate some of their childish shit, it sounds cocky but it's the brutal truth. When in doubt compare old men dating younger women vs the opposite case which is really rare.
What acoustic 1 is saying is the truth!
As a female, I haven’t dated anyone who made more money than me yet. Never realized until replying to this post though..
Good for you.
I think the main differentiator between the sexes is status. You'll find woman who'll date a lower earner if he has a career in the arts or a teacher. For men I think it's it matters a lot less.
A rich male executive will fall in love with a waitress just for who she is. A woman executive wouldn't even give a blue collar male the time of day.
A rich male exec doesn’t fall in love with a waitress because of “who she is.” And much of this stupidity is based on who people believe society expects them to be with. I can guarantee plenty of female execs have been interested in blue collar workers for any number of reasons.
F 🐠 here. I make $180K base, my partner is in residency with 2 more years to go and have been supporting her. It’s a little rough having to pay for housing, vacations, restaurants, etc, but knowing her income potential, she will eventually make more than me.
Pro
F, married. As one poster mentioned, it’s more a reflection of shared values. Husband and I went to business school together. If I had dated a student obtaining their masters, I would consider future potential. Generally, no, I did not date people that made less than I did. Equal or above, yes. Same applies for educational background.
Yeah, I feel like that is generally the case -
Equal or above or if the potential is there, but agree that core and shared values factor a lot into the equation.
35 F attorney here. I like to date men who make equal or more or have the potential to earn more. I did try dating men that made less but their insecurities were very apparent and it didn’t work out. My personality is feminine and confident and they still felt emasculated. 🤷🏻♀️
Why do you call women "females" and men "men"
Would also like to know
It's more about your view on money and the level of income. I have dated both men who made more and less than me.
For less than me:
1st guy - he was starting up a company and using his savings. We couldn't enjoy a lot of luxuries (expensive restaurants, nice vacations) but it's ok. We werent very frivolous people. Ultimately broke up not bc of money
2nd guy - he is flashy but his pay doesn't really support it. View of money different.
It's also different between 40k vs 80 and 120k vs 240k. The first one, you have to compromise a lot but the second one, it would be less so (considering money view is the same). Groceries, flight prices, etc don't necessarily double just because you make 80k instead of 40k
M here. Yeah. In fact being better than me in one or more fields is very attractive to me, and income is def one of these fields.
I’m trying to date someone who is still in grad school but could potentially earn much more after graduation. Just hope that she won’t look down on this relatively low income consultant later on when she eventually realizes the income difference 🤣
I’m a woman and since my mid to late 20s, I have dated men who make more than I do (salary). Lifestyle compatibility is very important to me and finances play a big role in that. I’d probably be okay with someone who makes as much as I do. But the type of men I tend to be attracted to and attract (ie men who are older) have just always made more.
Female here and have to echoe Counsel 1 sentiments. I’ve tried to date men who made less than me or earning potential is less than me. I would say I’m pretty feminine but it always ended up being an insecurity issue. I now date a resident and he has one more year. I don’t mind helping out at all, he’s proven he’s reliable and supportive in other ways. I plan to enter grad school next year and he wants to support me through the process ( including financially). I think it helps that he knows his earning potential pretty much triples mine come next year.
Adding: "6 Reasons You Should Stop Referring To Women As "Females" Right Now" https://www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/tracyclayton/stop-calling-women-females
Rising Star
Goddamn relax. Also it’s buzzfeed
My SO (who lives w me) makes half of what I do, I’m a female biglaw attorney and he works as a public interest attorney. It doesn’t bother me because I still see him as ambitious/following his passion and he cooks and cleans a lot which gives me the support I need to be able to work such long hours in biglaw. I pay a little bit more in rent but we otherwise split everything
Chief
When my SO and I started dating I made about $40k more than she did. Then she went to law school, so she was making negative $$$. Now she’s a big law associate making about double what I make. It’s all about communication.
As a now married straight guy, I always dated ~equal or above (or at least those with potential - MBA students, residents, etc) because I grew up poor and worked hard to not be. Happily married to someone who makes more than me, though interestingly enough, she doesn’t care at all what I make and is completely onboard with me retiring early, which has long been my goal.
It’s different animal when you compare dating and marriage
Dating - split rent, split food, fun activities like vacation, parties, gifts etc.. it’s fun and charming
When things get serious….
Like getting married ..
Legally married and moving into the next phase is a whole different beast ..
- taxes
- mortgage
- kids
- schools
- etc etc etc
Most women have told me:
- it’s very stressful to be the provider, household manager and deal with a career and corporate America BS
- how do you mitigate this? A partner who makes as much or more to help alleviate it
My advice to you .. look ahead.. consider what possibilities you have to go through and lifestyle you want .. will you respect him if he makes less (as a husband not a Bf).. will you be ok being the breadwinner.. will you be ok with the pressure to provide a household .. will you be able to manage that and raise kids .. many ways to make it work but think it through .. be prepared
.. but for now If you are just having fun.. don’t worry about it .. enjoy the precious moments of vacationing, dinners and dates with friends ..
My bf makes less than me in a monthly basis now, but he owns a house in NYC and started his small business a year ago. I think eventually he will make more than me (poor accountant). If you see potential in him, you can invest your time.